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Your most unhinged "if I came to power" rule

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  • Based on my post on another thread. I'd make it compulsory to piss in the shower, that you're not allowed to leave the shower until you've done so.
  • So basically this is the same as “ The Things I dislike “ thread ? 
    wasnt meant to be - meant to be more random and unhinged but seems to have morphed into it.
    Things I dislike would be simply saying I dislike dogs jumping around me and trying to lick me. This thread allows you to be radical and mad so I’ll get it back on track:


    I’d introduce the right to shoot and kill on sight any dog, as long as it’s for consumption. 

    Only if the owner is vegetarian,  and therefore not speciesist, can compensation be awarded.
  • edited August 21
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
  • Chunes said:
    People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
    Likewise, people who talk about their dogs or cats as if they're real people. 
    "Mummy's fur baby"

    You mean your pet dog?
  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    I think you're misunderstanding the word fair fella.


  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    Contestants at the Women’s World Boxing Championships will have to undergo a gender check before competing. 

    That will look good on a CV, for whoever gets that gig 😂 
  • Can we keep the politics off this thread please? that does go both ways right? 
  • The first man who can win a starring contest with a goose is promptly crowned Lord of the Stare. Its a largely ceremonial position but he does win the respect of all men and is gifted a harem of the finest women in the land.
  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    Contestants at the Women’s World Boxing Championships will have to undergo a gender check before competing. 

    That will look good on a CV, for whoever gets that gig 😂 
    I think there should also be someone performing that role for certain weightlifting disciplines. Obviously whoever did it would need to start out on a trial basis so the job would be advertised as Probationary Snatch Snatch Prober. 
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  • A firing squad for any tfl worker striking due to fatigue.
  • An electric shock for anyone walking on the right on a keep left corridor on the London Underground network 
  • Anyone who stops to take a selfie on Westminster Bridge shall first have their phone thrown in the Thames and then themselves. In case that's not enough they will be given a dose of dysentery.
  • Boy racers who modify their exhausts so they sound like a gun going off, make them stand in front of a firing squad.

    The idiots who have heavy bass playing in their car, they can spend a year in jail in complete silence.
  • I'd set up a very forceful recycling rule and make sure everyone has access to the correct and dedicated bin for specific waste. 

    Plastic, wasted food, wood etc

    The streets will also need to be clean. 

    If anyone is caught trashing our streets then they get fined £10,000. 

    No ifs no buts.

    I will provide british born homeless with hilton hotel accommodation. 

    They live there for free for 4 weeks and recharge their batteries. 

    If they stay, they work at the hotel for the right to live there. Something that is good for the business itself and makes money.

    I will say that every professional footballer can earn maximum of £30,000 a week.

    If they struggle on that and it brings debt due to significant reduction...tough shit.

    St georges = full paid Bank Holiday 


  • Dog fouling

    The owner of a dog who fails to pick their dogs shit up are made to role reverse. They have to be walked, on a lead or harness, on hands and knees, by their dog. 

    And have SCUM tattooed on their forehead 
  • Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
  • Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
    So a kid should know what they want to do for the rest of their life aged 13? If they don't have any other skills what are they meant to do if they decide they don't like the job and want to change career paths?
  • edited 5:58AM
    Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
    We don't want things you actually think should happen even if they are ridiculous. We want unhinged shit. Try again. 
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  • All people that can only manage 2 beers on a match day to be banished by their friendship group. 

  • All people that can only manage 2 beers on a match day to be banished by their friendship group. 

    Had 3 last week. 
  • All people that can only manage 2 beers on a match day to be banished by their friendship group. 

    Had 3 last week. 
    @Leeds_Addick @PaddyP17

    Linden, Pamment - please confirm. 
  • Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
    We don't want things you actually think should happen even if they are ridiculous. We want unhinged shit. Try again. 
    Yet my compulsory euthanasia at 80 post didn’t get a single like…
  • CAFCsayer said:
    Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
    So a kid should know what they want to do for the rest of their life aged 13? If they don't have any other skills what are they meant to do if they decide they don't like the job and want to change career paths?
    As said most of the kids i went to school with are doing the jobs they always thought they would.

    Systems should be designed for the majority, and if youre one of the small number who decides to change careers you can do so but you just do it at older age like we currently have. Fully grown adults still do qualifications today. So in my scenario, you decide you want to go become a plumber then change your mind at 19 and want to work in IT you can do so you just start your training from scratch at 19.
  • I’d bring back the Would Ya threads to a weekly basis. Then all members of CL have to comment, however, we are linked up to some sort of remote lie detector. Only the truth can be told.
    It’s a yes from me 
  • All vegans rounded up and placed on the Isle Of Man, which is then ringed by underwater mines and a Navy patrol to ensure no-one leaves
  • Kids can leave mainstream education at 13/14 provided they have an apprenticeship, no more exams like gces/A-levels but entry exams for more specialised education programmes, once completed just a certificate of completion.

    We still run an archaiac throwback to schools that was designed in the victorian era mainly to get kids off the streets.

    Whilst i bettered myself and have an MSc and specialist qualifications, not everyone is as intelligent or competent as me. Jokes aside i went to school and still am friends with people who are lift engineers, builders, working in trades and they all knew at an early age that was what they were going to do because there dads, uncles etc did it. Why were we wasting everyones time teaching them GCSE algebra at 16 ? Yes i know these jobs requires maths skills but they could have learnt this skills in a work enviroment more suited and applicable to their careers, which in turn would free up resources for kids with an academic natures still in schools. 
    We don't want things you actually think should happen even if they are ridiculous. We want unhinged shit. Try again. 
    Are you new here? 
  • I would grant independence to Scotland, but only on the basis that most of the north of England also becomes part of the newly independent Scotland.

    The frontiers of my beautiful new England would span from the top of East Anglia to the southern end of the border with Wales, cutting under Peterborough, because that's a shithole, but curving up to capture Royal Leamington Spa and Worcester, which are okay.

    Newcastle would remain English, possibly becoming a Gibraltar-esque tax haven. Liverpool will also remain ours. However, I'd build a wall around it and use it in the same was as the French used French Guiana and we used Australia - basically a prison.

    Separately from that, I'd shut down South Eastern Trains and replace it with something that works. All former employees of South Eastern Trains to be tried as war criminals.
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