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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

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  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882
    edited October 21
    If you're happy to base your health or wealth on AI, maybe you want to think again.  This is from Meta AI:

    Finally got this to load.  It does seem to be a file size issue.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

  • jose
    jose Posts: 750
    Top Tip Ten
    Human Resources interviewers: shuffle the pile of CVs split them in half and throw one lot in the bin. Thus avoiding employing unlucky people.
  • MrWalker
    MrWalker Posts: 4,145
    Sick of birds in the garden?
    Try my award winning concrete bird seed.
    It's impeccable 

  • T
    T Posts: 1,349
    Saw this on Reels and this seems best place for it 

    https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOWK8YMivqZ/?igsh=aG5kamx2ZTltMzNh
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,137
    Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor nightclub was not a bouncer 
  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 1,718
    Some people won't be following American current affairs closely enough to get this joke. If this applies to you, you are very fortunate and you should do your best to remain in that happy state.

  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,137
    Went to see an Elbow tribute band last night. They were called Arse. To be honest, you couldn’t tell the difference 
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,137
    Went to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs last night. It wasn’t bad but six of the Dwarfs weren’t happy. 
  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 1,718
    My mate's struggling to keep up the payments that he owes for his recent exorcism. He's worried that he's going to get repossessed. 

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  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,137
    Just popped down to corner shop & asked the man behind the counter ‘ have you got any Twix?’ He said he could do a bit of juggling but that was it 
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

  • jose
    jose Posts: 750
    A man walks into a library and asks "Have you got any books on Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat?"
    The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not."
  • IdleHans
    IdleHans Posts: 11,027
    "Hello, is that the Schrodinger Institute?"
    "Might be"
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,176

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882

    I had lunch with Garry Kasparov at a table with a lovely gingham check tablecloth.

    It took him an hour to pass the salt.

  • I had lunch with Garry Kasparov at a table with a lovely gingham check tablecloth.

    It took him an hour to pass the salt.

    @Gribbo wants a word.

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  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,769
    In answer to the thread heading, it appears so !!
  • jose
    jose Posts: 750
    What do you call an ancient Greek philosopher who wasn't very good?

    Mediocrates
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882
    jose said:
    What do you call an ancient Greek philosopher who wasn't very good?

    Mediocrates
    That’ll do. 
  • Taxi_Lad
    Taxi_Lad Posts: 3,792
    I said to the doctor 
    “I’ve lost hearing in my right ear “
    “are you sure “ he asked 
    “I’m definite” I said
  • Taxi_Lad
    Taxi_Lad Posts: 3,792
    In the cafe today my mate raved about his hot drink and insisted I tasted it. 
    It was ok but just wasn’t my cup of tea
  • swordfish
    swordfish Posts: 4,248
    edited November 8
    Made me laugh when I read it, so I'll share it. 

    1980-Bush
    1990-Landing strip
    2000-Bald
    2010-Cock
  • Peter_G
    Peter_G Posts: 842

  • Taxi_Lad
    Taxi_Lad Posts: 3,792
    I come from a family of magicians. There’s me, my mum and dad and my two half sisters 
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882
    You've probably all heard of Karl Marx, author of Das Kapital and The Communist Manifesto.

    But how many of you know about his sister, Onya, the Olympic runner?

    She's immortalised at the start of every race.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,882
    Teacher: What do you call someone who keeps talking even though people are no longer interested in what they're saying?

    Pupil: A teacher.