General things that Please you

Having worked in Truck Garages for about 40 years and shared tea rooms and toilets. I have a fairly high threshold to poor table manners and poor  post water closet hygiene. 
I remember one colleague who while eating in a tea room would think it acceptable to sit to onside and release an horrendous (In both loudness and aroma ) a fart. 
This was a regular habit despite protest from quite a few. 
One afternoon he decided to carry out his ritual, a younger colleague, said "If you ever do that again next to me I will pick up the biggest piece of wood I can find and split your skull open"
Of course we all laughed it off, until he was underside of a truck and thought it would be funny to break wind in face of said young lad. 
The youngster was as good as his word , as he  clouted the farter with a piece  of broken pallet The poor lad was sacked but the chap who's head required 15 stitches stopped  his unsavoury habit.