Bar men who turn round from the till to a packed bar and ask 'Who's next?'
It's your job to know, twat.
( I seem to become invisible when I'm holding a £20 note)
This winds me up so much. Everyone at the bar is usually partially aware of what order they are in but there's always a couple chancers who will happily jump to the front if the barman says 'who's next?'. It's not that hard to keep an eye on it.
Bar men who turn round from the till to a packed bar and ask 'Who's next?'
It's your job to know, twat.
( I seem to become invisible when I'm holding a £20 note)
This winds me up so much. Everyone at the bar is usually partially aware of what order they are in but there's always a couple chancers who will happily jump to the front if the barman says 'who's next?'. It's not that hard to keep an eye on it.
You wouldn't be invisible in my bar. Back in my student days I took pride in being a very, very good barman. A big part of this is always keeping a good idea of who is next. The thing is, it's really not that hard. The most difficult times are when the bar is really packed, and even then you just need to take a methodical approach. (Typewriter method: start at one end, work along, return to start. Piece of piss.) I used to work in Creation Nightclub in Brighton and that place got absolutely heaving on a Friday and Saturday night. The only people at my bar who complained about not getting served in good time were the arseholes who tried to push in. Interestingly, when a gobby twat tries this on and you point out that "these five people" (pointing each one out) will be served first, the public tend to find their voice and tell the muggy prat to have some manners. They also appreciate being identified as next up, so they're happier to wait. Some of them manage to dig a bit deeper for a tip too.
It's really not rocket science. Maybe I should teach this instead of maths!
People in international hotel buffet breakfasts. Sneezing, coughing, fingering, and not in a nice way, pushing in and generally treating the whole feast as their personal meal. Mainly Russians.
Tourists in the spas in Budapest who bring in their waterproof smartphones and stay on them tapping away for hours on end, answering phone calls and loudly discussing each call with their friends, often just under the 'Silence Please' signs. Chinese, almost exclusively. FFS, just relax.
My missus phoning me from the toilet of a train to Manchester in tears telling me some bloke taking up half the seat on the train, reading Razzle with one hand and the other hand down the front of his strides. The remnants of a takeaway down the front of shirt and staring at her sister. WTF, am I meant to do about it.
Sorry, are you just showing off that your wife's sister is in Razzle? ;-)
Tourists in the spas in Budapest who bring in their waterproof smartphones and stay on them tapping away for hours on end, answering phone calls and loudly discussing each call with their friends, often just under the 'Silence Please' signs. Chinese, almost exclusively. FFS, just relax.
£70 group bet on Charlton to win and +10 corners...11 corners and we go 2-1, quick heads up on whether we should cash out on £300 for a 'lively trip home'...oh they've equalised
When using pay pass ( it may be called something else there) with your credit card and the shop/ restaurant/ lady of the night don't show you the card machine as they tap, so you have to ask for a receipt to check they haven't added a nought on.
£70 group bet on Charlton to win and +10 corners...11 corners and we go 2-1, quick heads up on whether we should cash out on £300 for a 'lively trip home'...oh they've equalised
Any charlton bet that is winning and a cash out is possible - means you must cash out.
£70 group bet on Charlton to win and +10 corners...11 corners and we go 2-1, quick heads up on whether we should cash out on £300 for a 'lively trip home'...oh they've equalised
Any charlton bet that is winning and a cash out is possible - means you must cash out.
The bloke who attached his Oyster card chip onto the end of an extendable magicians wand, who flourishes it to tap the barriers. Why of why couldn't I have thought of that? We used to do a similar thing in a military base I worked in - putting the chip in the collar of our uniform so we could only gain access by casually leaning back against the door.
£70 group bet on Charlton to win and +10 corners...11 corners and we go 2-1, quick heads up on whether we should cash out on £300 for a 'lively trip home'...oh they've equalised
Any charlton bet that is winning and a cash out is possible - means you must cash out.
THIS THIS THIS THIS
I had £5 on 1-1 @13/2. It went to 1-1, the cash out was £15 & whilst I was thinking about it we went 1-2 up.
When you're twenty minutes from the end of a busy as fook twelve hour shift and two cons decide to start battering each other. Not only have you got to sort them out but you've got to bang up a hundred others who are pissed off at being put behind their doors early. Then you've got an hours worth of paperwork to do before you can finally get off. And to cap it all I got claret on my shirt which was clean on this morning.
When you're twenty minutes from the end of a busy as fook twelve hour shift and two cons decide to start battering each other. Not only have you got to sort them out but you've got to bang up a hundred others who are pissed off at being put behind their doors early. Then you've got an hours worth of paperwork to do before you can finally get off. And to cap it all I got claret on my shirt which was clean on this morning.
Comments
Back in my student days I took pride in being a very, very good barman.
A big part of this is always keeping a good idea of who is next. The thing is, it's really not that hard. The most difficult times are when the bar is really packed, and even then you just need to take a methodical approach. (Typewriter method: start at one end, work along, return to start. Piece of piss.)
I used to work in Creation Nightclub in Brighton and that place got absolutely heaving on a Friday and Saturday night. The only people at my bar who complained about not getting served in good time were the arseholes who tried to push in. Interestingly, when a gobby twat tries this on and you point out that "these five people" (pointing each one out) will be served first, the public tend to find their voice and tell the muggy prat to have some manners. They also appreciate being identified as next up, so they're happier to wait. Some of them manage to dig a bit deeper for a tip too.
It's really not rocket science. Maybe I should teach this instead of maths!
Sneezing, coughing, fingering, and not in a nice way, pushing in and generally treating the whole feast as their personal meal.
Mainly Russians.
Chinese, almost exclusively.
FFS, just relax.
;-)
He invokes every northern prejudice I can possibly summon
Why of why couldn't I have thought of that?
We used to do a similar thing in a military base I worked in - putting the chip in the collar of our uniform so we could only gain access by casually leaning back against the door.
Have you posted:
"Thinking of something to put on the 'General things that annoy you' thread"
onto the 'General things that please you' thread?