Mock the Week game

Henry Irving

As on the show there's a category and you have to give a witty answer.

Keep it clean-ish

Bad things to say at your first day at work

MCS

Morning boss, just going for a pre 'new job' pony, me guts are going right over!! Where are the traps???

sadiejane1981

ok boss lets cut to the chase, who do I have to sleep with for more money?

guinnessaddick

I have to leave early, as my ASBO doesn't allow me out in the dark.

sadiejane1981

who am I?

Red5

right then lads let me introduce myself... the name's dowie... ian dowie

cafcdan18

How long is my lunch hour?

Floyd Montana

Where do you want me to attach my tug, boss?
I:ve been told to turn Britain around

sadiejane1981

what's the combination for the safe?

RedZed333

What's the boss like...? I've heard he's a right twatt...

AFKABartram

'Hi, nice to meet you. I know its a cheek but i have to leave at 2pm today as i'm playing a cup game against Southend United's youth team at Roots Hall tonight'

Which is what i said in March 1993

RedZed333

Are we allowed to surf porn during our lunch breaks...?

sadiejane1981

so...what's their to do for fun around this dive?

Henry Irving

[cite]Posted By: Mister Windscreen[/cite]I'm Adolph, the new guy...and before you ask...yes I am CORGI registered!

Just got that one. My fault for starting the thread so I shouldn't really complain but : - (

StubleyAddick

Hi Im Nigel...and I support Crystal Palace

Alex Wright

".....move out of the way, I'm an England international......"

Alex Wright

"Hello lads, I'm really pleased to have taken over as your new manager.

Meet my first signing, John Terry"

BDL

Good Morning to you sir, I'm Derek. I've just travelled into work on a number 38 Bus, did you know that they'd taken away the bendy buses and replaced them with Scania 451's? I was reallllllly excited, I sat on the top deck at the front and pretended I was the Driver. Ding ding brooooooooooom brooooooooooom

Alex Wright

so, you want me to be here at WHAT time every moring? You're 'avin a laugh mate. I don't get out of bed before 09:30 for anyone.

Chizz

Look, it's 4 o'clock now. And, as I always say, there's no point being late BOTH ends of the day. See ya tomorrow.

AFKABartram

"Morning team, its an honour to be here and i look forward to working with every one of you. Two tasks to get you started with; 1. I'm very keen on contingency planning, so if you could all jot down your wives mobile numbers that would be great, and 2. Just for a bit of fun, and to show i'm hopefully going to be a fun boss, i naturally wasn't here for the Christmas Party so i'd like everyone to do a list of as many of their colleagues partners names as they can, and then rank them in order of filthiness potential. I stress, this is just a bit of fun'

Valley_floyd_red

This is the colonic irrigation clinic, Right?

guinnessaddick

Which do I use? the mens or ladies toilets until I have my op.

AFKABartram

"ha, good one, i can see you're the comedian round here. Now joking aside, who really is the boss"

Genesis

Who's that nice bit of skirt over there?.............. Oh sorry, I didn't realise it was your daughter.

Marco

Do I have to ask EVERYONE if they want fries?

Chizz

Hello. My name's Nathan.

BDL

Oh I haven't worked since the incident at my last office. So how well insured do you have this place?

Henry Irving

"Can we skip the induction? I need to get on Charlton Life and see who today's Would Ya is"

Henry Irving

OK, someone think of a new category

BDL

Things you wouldn't expect to hear at a Football Match....................(After all it is a bloody Football forum)