Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Sick day excuses

2456

Comments

  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,668
    I've had about 10 days off in nearly 6 years. But the brad pitts work well. Just say you have the brads but feel well enough to come in, But you will be on the bog majority of the day and also can't risk crapping yourself on the journey in.
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,879
    masicat said:

    Anyone want to know why this country is in the shit?

    Is it?
  • steveizz
    steveizz Posts: 52
    Get the wife/partner/mum to phone in and say you have been up all night and was trying to stay awake to phone in yourself however have finally managed to get to sleep and is really off colour.
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,987
    some right miserable f*****s on here.
  • I assume you all get annual holiday and, of course, paid at the end of the month. I don't, really, understand why you need extra, free, days off.

    Funny as everywhere I've worked those that take the micky with sick days are eventually pushed out and they complain their backsides off at how unfair it is and how their bosses are unreasonable.
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    Always take two days, it looks more genuine, just phone up the second day and say you're not feeling any better. Say you've got an upset stomach and leave it at that, don't over-elaborate as that makes you look like a liar. A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice.

    My sister took over six weeks off sick in one year at a previous job, along with taking her five weeks paid holiday - and she wondered why she got the sack!
  • WSS
    WSS Posts: 25,070
    Haven't had a sick day in 8 years. Never really understood it to be honest if you're not 'really' sick.
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    WSS said:

    Haven't had a sick day in 8 years. Never really understood it to be honest if you're not 'really' sick.

    Lucky you, you must be extremely healthy :-)

    Now I'm 'grown up' I don't take sick days if I'm not sick. But when I'm ill, I'm not dragging myself into the office to cough and splutter over people or constantly run to the loo. I'm not that important that the office can't cope without me.
  • All_Thaid_Up
    All_Thaid_Up Posts: 2,293
    I work very hard, like most people these days and often go beyond the call of duty, traveling at weekends, nights out with clients etc and I very rarely take my full allocation of holiday. So occasionally I don't feel like going in, now I could take it as holiday, but then you have the hassle (and to be fair my boss is good) of explaining etc so sometimes it is easier.
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,036
    Wilma said:

    ...A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice...

    I used to work with a bloke who would phone in saying he had a cold, he'd then sit there all day rubbing his nose with a wet hankie (no, that's not a euphemism) to get that realistic red soreness for when he returned to work. He was a Palace fan.

  • Sponsored links:



  • johnny73
    johnny73 Posts: 4,567
    Can understand the employers and employees differing views. When I was a kid I didn't really think much about it. Took a few days. I would hope as you get older you become more responsible and take less sickies. Later in my career was in an environment where the manager took more sickies than anyone. Then the support staff simply copied the manager but on a much smaller scale.
  • lolwray
    lolwray Posts: 4,902
    a bad attack of the "chalfonts" is a good one ...takes a brave employer to check if you are lying
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,603
    Stig said:

    Wilma said:

    ...A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice...

    I used to work with a bloke who would phone in saying he had a cold, he'd then sit there all day rubbing his nose with a wet hankie (no, that's not a euphemism) to get that realistic red soreness for when he returned to work. He was a Palace fan.
    You should have offered to go round and clump him on the nose to make it red (then kicked him in the bollocks for good measure)
  • Strasburger
    Strasburger Posts: 957
    edited August 2012
    Personally I leave about 4 or 5 days of Annual leave untouched for self-imposed illness and explain to work the reason I am talking the day / half day. They seem more than happy with it so far. That aside I only ever take time off work on doctors orders (which is the way it was for me in France) That said the personal days are also in France 2 of them when needed.
  • Addicted
    Addicted Posts: 2,804

    I assume you all get annual holiday and, of course, paid at the end of the month. I don't, really, understand why you need extra, free, days off.

    I get 20 days holiday a year, but have to take 10 of them as "study leave" as I'm taking exams (to make me better at my job). Not saying its right, but with all the stress of working a 9-6 plus studies outside of work hours in the evenings and weekends, sometimes you just need a day off!
  • PeakieRocket
    PeakieRocket Posts: 2,418
    'I've been kidnapped by a darts team and taken to Dumfries' - wasn't a lie either
  • I remember one girl saying she was off sick because she had fallen into a dustbin. But the best one was a bloke I represented as union rep who was on 6 month probation and I think only appeared at work once or twice. He would always phone in sick either very early or very late, so pretty sure he had another job. But he used every excuse in the book: bad back (then went on a football tour to Denmark), grandmother died, had his appendix out, other grandmother died, then made his fatal error by saying that he had his other appendix out. I advised him to resign.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    My stepdad works on the rail, tickets office, they actuallly plan their sickness weeks, they are allowed (as agreed with the union) two weeks sick without having to explain or certificate, also know someone who works for Parcelforce, and she tells me they all do the same as well, unbeleivable.
  • masicat
    masicat Posts: 5,008
    DA9 said:

    My stepdad works on the rail, tickets office, they actuallly plan their sickness weeks, they are allowed (as agreed with the union) two weeks sick without having to explain or certificate, also know someone who works for Parcelforce, and she tells me they all do the same as well, unbeleivable.

    This

  • cafctom
    cafctom Posts: 11,372
    Not as good as some of the others on here, but the best one I have heard is "I can't come in this week as my girlfriend has a bad back".

  • Sponsored links:



  • wickford
    wickford Posts: 863
    Used to work with an expert:
    Actually used (not necessarily verified!):
    My son fell out of a tree
    A canoe fell on my head
    The wife ran over the goldfish bowl!
  • Not a sickie excuse but my old tenant once told me he could not afford to pay that weeks rent because, "My dog has been eaten by a shark."

    I had to turn on my heel and leave.
  • Make everyone become Self-Employed !
    No "sickness" then !!

    @Miserableolgit.
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    The best one I heard (it may of been on a similar thread on the old netaddicks site) was a gay chap called in to explain that he would not be in today because he had collapsed rectal muscles! Surely he could have told his manager he had a cold/flu/shits etc.

    My apologies if you are eating a sausage sandwich.
  • masicat
    masicat Posts: 5,008
    Whilst I find some oif this hard to take, as an employer one sticks in my memory. A staff member called in sick because his wife had run off withe the woman next door.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,603
    Greenie said:

    The best one I heard (it may of been on a similar thread on the old netaddicks site) was a gay chap called in to explain that he would not be in today because he had collapsed rectal muscles! Surely he could have told his manager he had a cold/flu/shits etc.

    My apologies if you are eating a sausage sandwich.

    That was me. I didn't have the collapsed muscles but had to check the doctors cert before passing to hr.
  • eaststandmike
    eaststandmike Posts: 14,956
    When my staff call in sick I point them towards the cluase in their employment contract saying they are only entitled to 5 sick days on full pay so they may wish to save this in case something serious happens...............................they normally turn up for work an hour later
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,863

    When my staff call in sick I point them towards the cluase in their employment contract saying they are only entitled to 5 sick days on full pay so they may wish to save this in case something serious happens...............................they normally turn up for work an hour later

    Sod breaking an ankle or something working for you.

  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    edited August 2012
    "You're a smug w*nker and you can stuff your job up your a*se. I'll be off sick for the rest of my life".

  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 8,040
    I heard once of someone ringing in to say he couldn't come to work as his girlfriend was having a baby.

    When he came in the next day and was asked was it a boy or girl he said we have to wait 9 months to find out.