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Sick day excuses
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I've had about 10 days off in nearly 6 years. But the brad pitts work well. Just say you have the brads but feel well enough to come in, But you will be on the bog majority of the day and also can't risk crapping yourself on the journey in.0
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Get the wife/partner/mum to phone in and say you have been up all night and was trying to stay awake to phone in yourself however have finally managed to get to sleep and is really off colour.0
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some right miserable f*****s on here.0
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I assume you all get annual holiday and, of course, paid at the end of the month. I don't, really, understand why you need extra, free, days off.
Funny as everywhere I've worked those that take the micky with sick days are eventually pushed out and they complain their backsides off at how unfair it is and how their bosses are unreasonable.0 -
Always take two days, it looks more genuine, just phone up the second day and say you're not feeling any better. Say you've got an upset stomach and leave it at that, don't over-elaborate as that makes you look like a liar. A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice.
My sister took over six weeks off sick in one year at a previous job, along with taking her five weeks paid holiday - and she wondered why she got the sack!1 -
Haven't had a sick day in 8 years. Never really understood it to be honest if you're not 'really' sick.0
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Lucky you, you must be extremely healthy :-)WSS said:Haven't had a sick day in 8 years. Never really understood it to be honest if you're not 'really' sick.
Now I'm 'grown up' I don't take sick days if I'm not sick. But when I'm ill, I'm not dragging myself into the office to cough and splutter over people or constantly run to the loo. I'm not that important that the office can't cope without me.
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I work very hard, like most people these days and often go beyond the call of duty, traveling at weekends, nights out with clients etc and I very rarely take my full allocation of holiday. So occasionally I don't feel like going in, now I could take it as holiday, but then you have the hassle (and to be fair my boss is good) of explaining etc so sometimes it is easier.0
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I used to work with a bloke who would phone in saying he had a cold, he'd then sit there all day rubbing his nose with a wet hankie (no, that's not a euphemism) to get that realistic red soreness for when he returned to work. He was a Palace fan.Wilma said:...A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice...
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Can understand the employers and employees differing views. When I was a kid I didn't really think much about it. Took a few days. I would hope as you get older you become more responsible and take less sickies. Later in my career was in an environment where the manager took more sickies than anyone. Then the support staff simply copied the manager but on a much smaller scale.0
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a bad attack of the "chalfonts" is a good one ...takes a brave employer to check if you are lying0
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You should have offered to go round and clump him on the nose to make it red (then kicked him in the bollocks for good measure)Stig said:
I used to work with a bloke who would phone in saying he had a cold, he'd then sit there all day rubbing his nose with a wet hankie (no, that's not a euphemism) to get that realistic red soreness for when he returned to work. He was a Palace fan.Wilma said:...A cold/cough is hard to fake as you have to do the voice...
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Personally I leave about 4 or 5 days of Annual leave untouched for self-imposed illness and explain to work the reason I am talking the day / half day. They seem more than happy with it so far. That aside I only ever take time off work on doctors orders (which is the way it was for me in France) That said the personal days are also in France 2 of them when needed.0
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I get 20 days holiday a year, but have to take 10 of them as "study leave" as I'm taking exams (to make me better at my job). Not saying its right, but with all the stress of working a 9-6 plus studies outside of work hours in the evenings and weekends, sometimes you just need a day off!kings hill addick said:I assume you all get annual holiday and, of course, paid at the end of the month. I don't, really, understand why you need extra, free, days off.
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'I've been kidnapped by a darts team and taken to Dumfries' - wasn't a lie either0
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I remember one girl saying she was off sick because she had fallen into a dustbin. But the best one was a bloke I represented as union rep who was on 6 month probation and I think only appeared at work once or twice. He would always phone in sick either very early or very late, so pretty sure he had another job. But he used every excuse in the book: bad back (then went on a football tour to Denmark), grandmother died, had his appendix out, other grandmother died, then made his fatal error by saying that he had his other appendix out. I advised him to resign.1
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My stepdad works on the rail, tickets office, they actuallly plan their sickness weeks, they are allowed (as agreed with the union) two weeks sick without having to explain or certificate, also know someone who works for Parcelforce, and she tells me they all do the same as well, unbeleivable.0
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ThisDA9 said:My stepdad works on the rail, tickets office, they actuallly plan their sickness weeks, they are allowed (as agreed with the union) two weeks sick without having to explain or certificate, also know someone who works for Parcelforce, and she tells me they all do the same as well, unbeleivable.
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Not as good as some of the others on here, but the best one I have heard is "I can't come in this week as my girlfriend has a bad back".0
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Used to work with an expert:
Actually used (not necessarily verified!):
My son fell out of a tree
A canoe fell on my head
The wife ran over the goldfish bowl!0 -
Not a sickie excuse but my old tenant once told me he could not afford to pay that weeks rent because, "My dog has been eaten by a shark."
I had to turn on my heel and leave.0 -
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The best one I heard (it may of been on a similar thread on the old netaddicks site) was a gay chap called in to explain that he would not be in today because he had collapsed rectal muscles! Surely he could have told his manager he had a cold/flu/shits etc.
My apologies if you are eating a sausage sandwich.1 -
Whilst I find some oif this hard to take, as an employer one sticks in my memory. A staff member called in sick because his wife had run off withe the woman next door.0
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That was me. I didn't have the collapsed muscles but had to check the doctors cert before passing to hr.Greenie said:The best one I heard (it may of been on a similar thread on the old netaddicks site) was a gay chap called in to explain that he would not be in today because he had collapsed rectal muscles! Surely he could have told his manager he had a cold/flu/shits etc.
My apologies if you are eating a sausage sandwich.0 -
When my staff call in sick I point them towards the cluase in their employment contract saying they are only entitled to 5 sick days on full pay so they may wish to save this in case something serious happens...............................they normally turn up for work an hour later0
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Sod breaking an ankle or something working for you.eaststandmike said:When my staff call in sick I point them towards the cluase in their employment contract saying they are only entitled to 5 sick days on full pay so they may wish to save this in case something serious happens...............................they normally turn up for work an hour later
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"You're a smug w*nker and you can stuff your job up your a*se. I'll be off sick for the rest of my life".
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I heard once of someone ringing in to say he couldn't come to work as his girlfriend was having a baby.
When he came in the next day and was asked was it a boy or girl he said we have to wait 9 months to find out.
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