Occasionally go "up for the header" when in an empty room.
Pretend, and commentate upon a car race when I am on the motorway - anyone taking a turnoff is pitting in.
I have been known to climb the stairs on all fours - in a feral manner.
Embarassingly I did once have a bit of a moment in a lift in a hotel in Paris. I was on a business trip and a little bit squiffy. I figured this was a good time to pull random faces, make peculiar sounds and generally act like a chimp in the lift before I realised the camera on the roof of the lift had a little red light and was, apparently, on. As I exited the lift to go through reception there were 3 people pissing themselves laughing at me.
I often do an entrance into any room where i know I'll be alone. as if I'm a presenter or a wrestler.
When in the car by myself I often pretend I'm a radio dj. Playing music that I like and talking to famous people who I don't like then telling them to get out of the studio - (only do this on a night drive unless I feel I could get away with it during the day if it looks like I'm on a hands free.)
I have a very sophisticated conversation with myself every morning in the bathroom. My long suffering wife is well used to the fact that I am either talking to myself or doing amazingly accurate renditions of Neil Diamond classics. Unfortunately it means that I daren't tell her about my life insurance policy in her favour.
when in a supermarket, if anybody leaves their trolley unattended and in my way, i put random items in it.
This is a cracker. I put a packet of condoms in my sister-in-laws trolly in Sainsburys and watched her unload it onto the belt. She looked up at me with a bright red face as she tried to discard them from three check-outs away.
Occasionally go "up for the header" when in an empty room.
I used to do that when I was (much) younger.
I still occasionally play powerful backhand squash shots or bowl a leg break in an empty room. The latter can occasionally cause a lampshade to swing wildly.
Occasionally I go into stealth agent mode and I pretend that there is an intruder and I clear all the rooms on route to the last room I check where the tension builds as I gear myself to burst in to find nobody.
One day all that practice will help when there is a real intruder*
*If there was a real intuder I would probably shit myself in all fairness
Comments
Tense in the mirror
Poo with the door open
Pretend, and commentate upon a car race when I am on the motorway - anyone taking a turnoff is pitting in.
I have been known to climb the stairs on all fours - in a feral manner.
Embarassingly I did once have a bit of a moment in a lift in a hotel in Paris. I was on a business trip and a little bit squiffy. I figured this was a good time to pull random faces, make peculiar sounds and generally act like a chimp in the lift before I realised the camera on the roof of the lift had a little red light and was, apparently, on. As I exited the lift to go through reception there were 3 people pissing themselves laughing at me.
When in the car by myself I often pretend I'm a radio dj. Playing music that I like and talking to famous people who I don't like then telling them to get out of the studio - (only do this on a night drive unless I feel I could get away with it during the day if it looks like I'm on a hands free.)
when in a supermarket, if anybody leaves their trolley unattended and in my way, i put random items in it.
Please tell me you don't make sandwiches in Tesco !
I still occasionally play powerful backhand squash shots or bowl a leg break in an empty room. The latter can occasionally cause a lampshade to swing wildly.
Occasionally I go into stealth agent mode and I pretend that there is an intruder and I clear all the rooms on route to the last room I check where the tension builds as I gear myself to burst in to find nobody.
One day all that practice will help when there is a real intruder*
*If there was a real intuder I would probably shit myself in all fairness