Nutty things you do when there is no one else around (non-sexual)

3blokes

I joined a circus for a while juggling tippex bottles that were on fire ;-)
In the end I decided that long holidays were more my thing so I became a teacher ;-)

Granpa

WSS said:
See how far I can walk down the road with my eyes closed

Hahaha fantastic!


No good talking back to him, he's just gone down a manhole !

Mr. Happy

Rehearse arguments I intend on having, including hand signals and rolling my eyes when I imagine what they might say back to me. It can get quite heated sometimes.

EastStand

I talk to myself constatly. It's gotten to the point where I find myself threatening violence towards inanimate objects.
Not so good when working behind a quiet bar and the customers can hear you muttering angry threats at the ale pumps.

Gammysnr

Wrap my arms around myself with my front to a wall, so it looks like someone is hugging me and make all the related noises.

NathanPrior

The other month I ran up the stairs shouting "na na na na na Batman!"

nth_london_addick

NathanPrior said:

The other month I ran up the stairs shouting show us ya willy and got caught by my boss

Its_Hamer_Time

nth london addick said:

NathanPrior said:

The other month I ran up the stairs shouting show us ya willy and got caught by my boss

That one just killed me......spat water all over the desk. Brilliant!

Davo55

Point my fingers, like a gun, at the people on the tv and shoot them with a loud fart

AddickUpNorth

Dress my cats up as the Pips and pretend I'm Gladys Knight.

Stig

Just recently I've been walking around the house talking like Pennywise The Clown.

The Red Robin

tangoflash said:

In depth interview with myself after a FM session..............

Yes! I do that all the time. Full-on press conference after a new signing too.

Macronate

pitch business ideas to the Dragons, usually in my car.

pretend I'm cooking for the Masterchef judges sometimes.

Mortimerician

maybe_baby said:

If the gf goes to bed early I tell the dog a bedtime story.

Its_Hamer_Time

Sing in a funny voice while doing a Smithy style robot dance. No idea why, but it entertains me.

Mortimerician

Commentate on urination.

"That's one of the best 10 pisses of the year. A fine effort and I can only see there being more to come from the lad".

Who knows why.

church-lane

If something annoys me on the telly, I pretend to plant some explosives under it, walk backwards uncoiling a roll of fuse wire, connect to a detonator box, unwind the plunger then press down with as much effort as I can muster. Wild west/world war 2 style. Suppose I could just use the remote!!

North Lower Neil

The Football Manager thing, too.

Work out zombie apocalypse escape routes/plan of actions.

Sing Macy Gray - I Try with full croaky voice.

Doodle on my arm to work out what I'd look like with tattoos.

See how far I can lean without falling over. Fail.

Sit on my legs so they go to sleep then try to stand up and stagger to the kitchen.

adamtheaddick

Moon stomp. Sing in the club style. Do partridge and facejacker voices.

ValleyGary

Impersonate the Indian bloke that stounds outside Charing Cross giving out ''Freeee Stylissst" magazine.

Solidgone

In the lift when its says "Going up"....I would say "come on you Addicks" but I just hate it when the lift says "Going down" especially when we've just lost. But then I'll say "Yer going down with the Villa".

Mortimerician

I do that, except I sing "down with the Pa-lass."

Fanny Fanackapan

Pick my nose & flick it at the dog.

" Here, boy !"

AddickUpNorth

Fanny Fanackapan said:

Pick my nose & flick it at the dog.

" Here, boy !"

Sorry to say Dame Fanackapan but you've shocked me there. I had you down as the epitome of class and sophistication. Your proclamation has brought back the pain I felt when I found out Father Christmas wasn't real.

Carter

Nose picking is a problem apparently but I can spend an hour merrily mining my gazon holes whem in isolation

And watching chick flicks

And drinking lambrini

Riviera

As long as the "non sexual" caveat remains in the title, I have nothing to add to this thread....

rikofold

AddickUpNorth said:

Fanny Fanackapan said:

Pick my nose & flick it at the dog.

" Here, boy !"

Sorry to say Dame Fanackapan but you've shocked me there. I had you down as the epitome of class and sophistication. Your proclamation has brought back the pain I felt when I found out Father Christmas wasn't real.

What?!!?!

The_Organiser

I often Imagine we're playing some huge away game (Usually palace or millwall in the FA Cup Qtr final - big away support etc) and that we've gone 2-0 down......then the comeback starts with me imagining the goals and acting out the absolute mental celebrations in our end (sometimes involving pitch encroachment if im really feeling it) as we claw back to win it 3-2 in the last min.
The winning goal is usually a 'parker at Leeds' dribble through their defence or a solly break away up the right, cross and diving header from our forward.
This has been happening for years - only been caught by the mrs once as I was going ape shit in the living room!!

Fanny Fanackapan

AddickUpNorth said:

Fanny Fanackapan said:

Pick my nose & flick it at the dog.

" Here, boy !"

Sorry to say Dame Fanackapan but you've shocked me there. I had you down as the epitome of class and sophistication. Your proclamation has brought back the pain I felt when I found out Father Christmas wasn't real.

Sorry, AUN ( hangs head in shame)

It is my one & only vice though.....

Shall we be seeing you tomorrow ? I could offer you a couple of my "lucky" choccy fingers at halftime but you might wonder where they'd been !

paulbaconsarnie

When there's no traffic about I often "take the racing line" whilst providing a slow motion replay of my formula1 victory in the southeast London street circuit Grand Prix.