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Fist-gnawingly annoying adverts

Leroy AmbroseLeroy Ambrose
edited January 2014 in Not Sports Related
The Hive adverts. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

How do people come up with this shit and think 'annoying' helps to sell products?

I think this scene plays out at least ten times a day in 'creative' agencies...
A bunch of hipster Shoreditch bell-ends sitting round brainstorming their creative visions for a spiffing new ad campaign. They're all completely stumped, when suddenly one snaps his fingers:

"I've got it!" We'll get some really shit animation that looks like a ten year old did it in Flash 5, some tuneless with a ukelele warbling 'ironic' poetry over the top of it, and have it bookended by Dizzee Rascal/Tinie Tempah/Dopey Wankah proselytising about it".

"By Jove Atticus, I think you've got something there..."

Advertising. For those with truly no talent whatsoever.
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Comments

  • PL54PL54
    Anything based around lady products
  • JayajoshJayajosh
    Oh golly, the C word.
  • McBobbinMcBobbin
    There was one which really annoyed me for I think Atlantic finance. This guy had a horrible purple shirt and too-tight beige trousers. Irritating.
  • flyingkiwiDKflyingkiwiDK
    LawrieAbrahams said:

    Perfume commercials. Pretentious, incomprehensible bollocks.

    This
  • I_Saw_Semedo_ScoreI_Saw_Semedo_Score
    edited January 2014
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    The Hive adverts. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

    How do people come up with this shit and think 'annoying' helps to sell products?

    I think this scene plays out at least ten times a day in 'creative' agencies...
    A bunch of hipster Shoreditch bell-ends sitting round brainstorming their creative visions for a spiffing new ad campaign. They're all completely stumped, when suddenly one snaps his fingers:

    "I've got it!" We'll get some really shit animation that looks like a ten year old did it in Flash 5, some tuneless cunt with a ukelele warbling 'ironic' poetry over the top of it, and have it bookended by Dizzee Rascal/Tinie Tempah/Dopey Wankah proselytising about it".

    "By Jove Atticus, I think you've got something there..."

    Advertising. For those with truly no talent whatsoever.

    Haha wow, literally just watching something with my old man. The Hive advert came on, we've both declared that it's "fucking irritating" and then I come on here and see that thread. Glad I'm not the only one.

    Busy controlling my heating at home? Fuck off.
  • ValleyGaryValleyGary
    LawrieAbrahams said:

    Perfume commercials. Pretentious, incomprehensible bollocks.

    Lee Mack does a pretty funny bit about these in his stand up
  • StigStig
    ValleyGary said:

    LawrieAbrahams said:

    Perfume commercials. Pretentious, incomprehensible bollocks.

    Lee Mack does a pretty funny bit about these in his stand up
    I see her on t' beach, she's got it in her 'and its a pie, I love pies, I go over, but wait its not a pie, its like a pie but its not a pie, its smaller and inside its peas and carrots and gravy and mince and I know that I want 'cos it is what is and what it is, is a pasty by Ginster. Genius

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Mx2qU1JiI
  • LonelyNorthernAddickLonelyNorthernAddick
    I think this may be the longest thread yet with how many shite adverts there are.
  • StigStig
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiWHDVGaamM
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  • JorgeCostaJorgeCosta
    The advert that I hate most is the lift one on the big screen at the Valley, where the lift door opens and then there's all the players' heads stuck on weird bodies! Looks like something the animators of South Park produced.
  • MacronateMacronate
    have always detested the Halifax choir ads.

    particularly hate the current Wonga ad where a bellend plays a stringed instrument and some old bellend of a puppet comes on & strums with him.
  • HalixHalix
    The one with the crappy brummy accent "yo cupcake" god knows what its advertising.
  • Greenie JuniorGreenie Junior
    The up your bingo advert, where at the end the fat old wench asks in the chaviest way possible 'are you calling me fat'?!.

    Yes, shamu, I am
  • 1StevieG1StevieG
    The ones advertising the betting firm where the fella is on his tablet at home or in the supermarket and all these people jump out from nowhere and sing along. Made especially more irritating by the fact that they are dressed in Palace colours. Annoying with a capital A.
  • AllHailTheHenAllHailTheHen
    Halix said:

    The one with the crappy brummy accent "yo cupcake" god knows what its advertising.

    This. Saw it for the first time last night and nearly put my fist through the screen
  • PrincessFionaPrincessFiona
    I just started reading this thread and didn't know what the Hive advert was. And then it came on the tv!
  • MrOneLungMrOneLung
    Advert about wiping your arse.

    So do you scrunch or fold?
  • HalixHalix
    edited January 2014
    Another classic is Broadband choices, where the worst actress in the world ( possibly the universe), sits opposite a bloke in the pub and and says "broadband who?" while various pub types sing "broadband choices" in chorus.

    And another contender for the award for the most annoying northerner goes to the "woman" in the post code lottery who goes..."were off to Benidorm" which must make the blood of countless Spaniards run cold and millions of brits decide "theres no way earth that I'm going to associate with this product". If she should get together with the "you buy one..." northerner from the above advert they would produce a mega northerner more dangerous than the neutron bomb.
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  • SE7toSG3SE7toSG3
    Hive, I thought it was just me but I turn it off when ever it comes on, why would going to work on a banana advice by a tw@t playing a banjo make me favour a product ffs

    On the radio add front any of those that involve out of tune london tradesmen singing a song like 1-0 to omega loans or selco
  • ValleyGaryValleyGary
    That radio advert "drive like a girl!!!"

    Na you're alright.
  • MrOneLungMrOneLung
    Blast from the past, mainly on capital radio.
    Currie Motors!
    Nice people.
    To do business with!
  • McBobbinMcBobbin
    I want to lamp the plusnet guy
  • DamoNorthStandDamoNorthStand
    edited January 2014
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    The Hive adverts. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

    How do people come up with this shit and think 'annoying' helps to sell products?

    I think this scene plays out at least ten times a day in 'creative' agencies...
    A bunch of hipster Shoreditch bell-ends sitting round brainstorming their creative visions for a spiffing new ad campaign. They're all completely stumped, when suddenly one snaps his fingers:

    "I've got it!" We'll get some really shit animation that looks like a ten year old did it in Flash 5, some tuneless with a ukelele warbling 'ironic' poetry over the top of it, and have it bookended by Dizzee Rascal/Tinie Tempah/Dopey Wankah proselytising about it".

    "By Jove Atticus, I think you've got something there..."

    Advertising. For those with truly no talent whatsoever.

    I am on the board of one of the biggest advertising agencies in the UK. I would argue I have talent in what I do. Doesn't mean that all people in the industry do, but then again what industry can claim that?

    I don't specialise anyway in the kind of 'traditional advertising' you refer to. My dept deals in sponsorship, brand partnerships, ad funded programming, content creation, social media amplification and the like. Certainly less invasive and more suited to how people consume media nowadays. For instance a hair styling brand of mine used to run spot ads on TV, and now works with Vevo to launch new artists from sony music and universal. By producing and supplying exclusive content to our consumers we also get rights to work with the artists and deliver scale to 1634's that now rivals TV.
  • bucksheebuckshee
    The "it's good but it's not quite carling"

    Shut up you pair of complete and utter pricks.

    Ask @Rothko about the hive ads. He's having one installed.
  • Eddie FirmaniEddie Firmani
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    DamoNorthStand said:

    Leroy Ambrose said:

    The Hive adverts. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

    How do people come up with this shit and think 'annoying' helps to sell products?

    I think this scene plays out at least ten times a day in 'creative' agencies...
    A bunch of hipster Shoreditch bell-ends sitting round brainstorming their creative visions for a spiffing new ad campaign. They're all completely stumped, when suddenly one snaps his fingers:

    "I've got it!" We'll get some really shit animation that looks like a ten year old did it in Flash 5, some tuneless with a ukelele warbling 'ironic' poetry over the top of it, and have it bookended by Dizzee Rascal/Tinie Tempah/Dopey Wankah proselytising about it".

    "By Jove Atticus, I think you've got something there..."

    Advertising. For those with truly no talent whatsoever.

    I am on the board of one of the biggest advertising agencies in the UK. I would argue I have talent in what I do. Doesn't mean that all people in the industry do, but then again what industry can claim that?

    I don't specialise anyway in the kind of 'traditional advertising' you refer to. My dept deals in sponsorship, brand partnerships, ad funded programming, content creation, social media amplification and the like. Certainly less invasive and more suited to how people consume media nowadays. For instance a hair styling brand of mine used to run spot ads on TV, and now works with Vevo to launch new artists from sony music and universal. By producing and supplying exclusive content to our consumers we also get rights to work with the artists and deliver scale to 1634's that now rivals TV.
    A load of buzzwords for 'selling you something you don't need'
    Thanks. I didn't have a clue what any of that meant.
  • RothkoRothko
    buckshee said:

    The "it's good but it's not quite carling"

    Shut up you pair of complete and utter pricks.

    Ask @Rothko about the hive ads. He's having one installed.

    No Hive, a Tado, much better then that BG muck
  • AlgarveaddickAlgarveaddick
    Eddie Firmani said:

    Leroy Ambrose said:

    DamoNorthStand said:

    Leroy Ambrose said:

    The Hive adverts. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

    How do people come up with this shit and think 'annoying' helps to sell products?

    I think this scene plays out at least ten times a day in 'creative' agencies...
    A bunch of hipster Shoreditch bell-ends sitting round brainstorming their creative visions for a spiffing new ad campaign. They're all completely stumped, when suddenly one snaps his fingers:

    "I've got it!" We'll get some really shit animation that looks like a ten year old did it in Flash 5, some tuneless with a ukelele warbling 'ironic' poetry over the top of it, and have it bookended by Dizzee Rascal/Tinie Tempah/Dopey Wankah proselytising about it".

    "By Jove Atticus, I think you've got something there..."

    Advertising. For those with truly no talent whatsoever.

    I am on the board of one of the biggest advertising agencies in the UK. I would argue I have talent in what I do. Doesn't mean that all people in the industry do, but then again what industry can claim that?

    I don't specialise anyway in the kind of 'traditional advertising' you refer to. My dept deals in sponsorship, brand partnerships, ad funded programming, content creation, social media amplification and the like. Certainly less invasive and more suited to how people consume media nowadays. For instance a hair styling brand of mine used to run spot ads on TV, and now works with Vevo to launch new artists from sony music and universal. By producing and supplying exclusive content to our consumers we also get rights to work with the artists and deliver scale to 1634's that now rivals TV.
    A load of buzzwords for 'selling you something you don't need'
    Thanks. I didn't have a clue what any of that meant.
    Glad it wasn't just me EF!

    "How people consume media", sorry Damo, that does sound like a line from comedy sketch taking the p**s out of advertising people... :-)
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