In France on holiday eating croissants and waffles, wife mentioned that on her recent holiday to Norway she had their version of waffles which are somewhere between a waffle and a pancake, we proceeded to think of a name for it combining ’waffle’ and ‘pancake’… youngest daughter shouts out proudly in the dining room “wankcakes”.
When we were in the baggage reclaim at Stansted last night, I said to my wife and daughter to wait with the hold bags while I got the suitcases off the carousel. My daughter said she would help but I told her to stay with my wife. She then told me (in a fairly loud voice) "we can help you know, just because we don't have nobs, doesn't mean we can't lift luggage"
A transit pulled up quite close to my nearside as I was dropping my sweet, demure 6 year old granddaughter at ballet.
I told her to get out of the car on my side as there was more room. As I did so the transit left.
I asked my granddaughter who it was and she said she didn't know. "But I saw you waving at them", I said. She replied, "I wasn't waving Granddad, I was shaking my fist at them!"
Not a child but my 95 year old mother in law. She was around our house on Wednesday night whilst me and the boys were watching the stream of the Brighton game. After quite some time of staring at the screen in puzzlement she asked, "Who are Britain playing against"?
When we were in the baggage reclaim at Stansted last night, I said to my wife and daughter to wait with the hold bags while I got the suitcases off the carousel. My daughter said she would help but I told her to stay with my wife. She then told me (in a fairly loud voice) "we can help you know, just because we don't have nobs, doesn't mean we can't lift luggage"
As a follow up to this, I was away at the weekend and my wife bought my daughter a desk and unit for her bedroom. They spent Sunday putting them together and when they'd finished, my daughter said to my wife "see, I was right when I said to Dad that you don't need a nob to do things like this. And we didn't lose our temper and swear while we were doing it"
When we were in the baggage reclaim at Stansted last night, I said to my wife and daughter to wait with the hold bags while I got the suitcases off the carousel. My daughter said she would help but I told her to stay with my wife. She then told me (in a fairly loud voice) "we can help you know, just because we don't have nobs, doesn't mean we can't lift luggage"
As a follow up to this, I was away at the weekend and my wife bought my daughter a desk and unit for her bedroom. They spent Sunday putting them together and when they'd finished, my daughter said to my wife "see, I was right when I said to Dad that you don't need a nob to do things like this. And we didn't lose our temper and swear while we were doing it"
I always thought it was spelt knob. Or is this the U18 version.....😀
When we were in the baggage reclaim at Stansted last night, I said to my wife and daughter to wait with the hold bags while I got the suitcases off the carousel. My daughter said she would help but I told her to stay with my wife. She then told me (in a fairly loud voice) "we can help you know, just because we don't have nobs, doesn't mean we can't lift luggage"
As a follow up to this, I was away at the weekend and my wife bought my daughter a desk and unit for her bedroom. They spent Sunday putting them together and when they'd finished, my daughter said to my wife "see, I was right when I said to Dad that you don't need a nob to do things like this. And we didn't lose our temper and swear while we were doing it"
I always thought it was spelt knob. Or is this the U18 version.....😀
When my oldest daughter was two, she called flowers (what sounded like ) fatarses. You can imagine what happened when we passed the local florist shop, especially if plump people were in the vicinity.
My little boy just said to me, "I'm sorry dad, I'm going to have to buy you a new father's day present. I got you one, but I accidentally drank it". [He is twenty nine]
Caught up with family over Christmas. My wife's 7 year old great-nephew recently insisted, in apparent genuine innocence, to his mum, my wife's neice, that his new PlayStation account user name must be 'Big Hairy Bush'.
So far interrogation has failed to identify the source...
Not for her the simple "Do they have glasses/blue eyes/brown hair?" type questions.
Her: "Does he have snot coming out of his nose?" Me: 'Does he... what?' Her: "Does it look like there's a big line of snot coming down from his nose?!" Me: 'Er... well, actually yeah, sort of!' Her: "Right, your one's George".
Subject got onto Jesus and his family somehow and i said said "well Jesus done alright for himself, and his dad was a carpenter". My daughter started cracking up, so i asked her "what?"...she replies "his dad was a carpenter"..so which i asked "do you even know what that is?"......."Yeah, someone that fits carpets".
Partners six year old son was fascinated by some guys rebuilding a garden wall at the end of the back garden, and loved watching them all day as they worked until suddenly appeared looking upset saying they had finished early and gone home because…”They’ve run out of fucking bricks”…classic.👌
Not for her the simple "Do they have glasses/blue eyes/brown hair?" type questions.
Her: "Does he have snot coming out of his nose?" Me: 'Does he... what?' Her: "Does it look like there's a big line of snot coming down from his nose?!" Me: 'Er... well, actually yeah, sort of!' Her: "Right, your one's George".
She won.
I remember when George was older with a hat and white hair. I played that game so much that I remember what they all looked like. We played up to five cards at once: 'Do any of yours have blue eyes.' 'Yes, two of them.' Now that does your brain in.
Not for her the simple "Do they have glasses/blue eyes/brown hair?" type questions.
Her: "Does he have snot coming out of his nose?" Me: 'Does he... what?' Her: "Does it look like there's a big line of snot coming down from his nose?!" Me: 'Er... well, actually yeah, sort of!' Her: "Right, your one's George".
She won.
I remember when George was older with a hat and white hair. I played that game so much that I remember what they all looked like. We played up to five cards at once: 'Do any of yours have blue eyes.' 'Yes, two of them.' Now that does your brain in.
A colleague of my daughter was teaching about homophones (words that sound alike with different meanings). They'd discussed to, too, two and by, buy, bye before moving onto piece and peace when a little girl innocently pointed out that there was a third one ... 'when your dad goes out on the p***'. They moved on pretty swiftly by all accounts.
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My wife brought her a bowl with some cheddar. She had a moan about wanting other cheeses and said “I want Leicester”.
My wife said “we don’t have any Red Leicester”.
“No, I want orange Leicester” she replied.
She also happily enjoys cheeses such as Stilton and Danish Blue.
youngest daughter shouts out proudly in the dining room “wankcakes”.
I told her to get out of the car on my side as there was more room. As I did so the transit left.
I asked my granddaughter who it was and she said she didn't know. "But I saw you waving at them", I said. She replied, "I wasn't waving Granddad, I was shaking my fist at them!"
That's my girl
Me "Get a life Josh"
Him "Get your own life Dad"
Quick as a flash, Boom. Should have drowned him there and then.
”It’s not Yesvember, it’s November”
On not enjoying having sun cream put on her
”The sun cream is burning me”
A couple on a similar theme after having accidents
”You’re wiping the poo on me”
”It wasn’t me, someone else wee’d in my knickers”
On being told to wait a minute
”I don’t like minutes”
Twice.
Had to swiftly shush her and tell her that was a 'square word', as she calls them.
"Oh. Why do they have a film with a square word name?"
4 Year Old: ‘I’m going to get married when I’m older, Daddy.’
Me: ‘Can I come to the wedding?’
4YO: ‘If you’re not dead!’
You can imagine what happened when we passed the local florist shop, especially if plump people were in the vicinity.
“Please can we have a slug in the house so it can eat all the lettuce. Because slugs eat lettuce.”
“Well done house for no slugs being in you.”
A while ago she asked “why does that man’s tummy look like that? Perhaps it’s because there’s a lot of food in it.”
Me: you've got big!
Her: I've not got beard, daddy got beard, uncle Canters got beard, Ava no got beard.
So far interrogation has failed to identify the source...
Not for her the simple "Do they have glasses/blue eyes/brown hair?" type questions.
Her: "Does he have snot coming out of his nose?"
Me: 'Does he... what?'
Her: "Does it look like there's a big line of snot coming down from his nose?!"
Me: 'Er... well, actually yeah, sort of!'
Her: "Right, your one's George".
She won.
Subject got onto Jesus and his family somehow and i said said "well Jesus done alright for himself, and his dad was a carpenter".
My daughter started cracking up, so i asked her "what?"...she replies "his dad was a carpenter"..so which i asked "do you even know what that is?"......."Yeah, someone that fits carpets".
Cant wait for her to start Secondary School.
'Do any of yours have blue eyes.'
'Yes, two of them.'
Now that does your brain in.