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Toilet Roll

24

Comments

  • charltonJcharltonJ
    Unless you're a young child, standing/scrunching is filth
  • brogibbrogib
    My ex brother in law, who's a 36 year old farkin TEACHER, only found out in recent years that he's allowed to sit on the toilet seat, he's always thought they were for women only. And not only that, cycling is his favourite sport. Silly idiot
  • BaldybonceBaldybonce
    golfaddick said:

    brogib said:

    Folded wet wipes

    the bane of all sewerman & the reason why we are getting more & more blocked drains nowdays.

    Also, why pay extra for quality bog paper ? It all does the same thing & all gets flushed away.Not saying you should use the greaseproof paper stuff as mentioned above, but a supermarkets basic range is just as good as Andrex.
    not when you put your finger through it.
  • AFKABartramAFKABartram
    Sit? I didn't even know that was physically possible.

    Sounds to me like a dart player throwing ha arrows blindfolded and then taking them out the board without knowing what he'd scored.
  • StigStig
    I like to use toilet roll to make myself a belt, but it is a complete waist of paper.
  • ShootersHillGuruShootersHillGuru
    Standing ? Klingons worry me.
  • soapy_jonessoapy_jones
    Always wondered what the box of Izal was for in my grandads outside loo when I was a kid. Few years later visited my Dads new gaff and there it was, a box of Izal, baffling. 20 years later let's just say a touch of the Denvers must run in the family...
  • seth plumseth plum
    Henry the Eighth used to have an attendant to wipe his arris, even had a royal title 'Keeper of the Kings Stool'.
  • seth plumseth plum
    Winet.

    Also applicable if you have a hairy arris.


    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=winet
  • JoshrewCAFCJoshrewCAFC
    MrOneLung said:

    remain seated.
    Scrunch.
    Lift balls.
    Wipe.

    This.

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  • guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    http://www.joe.ie/life-style/if-you-sit-down-while-youre-having-a-shte-apparently-youre-doing-it-all-wrong/496474
  • SolidgoneSolidgone
    I sit on the lawn and drag myself along.....a bit posh I know but there you go, the question was asked.
  • brogibbrogib
    Anyone else get that feeling of accomplishment when you get a clean brake?
  • brogibbrogib
    ...then wipe again, just to confirm
  • McBobbinMcBobbin
    One up, one down, and one to polish
  • Six-a-bag-of-nutsSix-a-bag-of-nuts
    Baldybonce said:

    Does anyone remember the toilet paper that was like greaseproof paper? usually to be found in public toilets. Horrible stuff.

    It's what we grew up with in school in the 60's.


  • StigStig
    brogib said:

    Anyone else get that feeling of accomplishment when you get a clean brake?

    It is surely one of the worst design faults on a human that the balloon knot is surrounded by buttocks.
  • ilovelucyilovelucy
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

    Baldybonce said:

    Does anyone remember the toilet paper that was like greaseproof paper? usually to be found in public toilets. Horrible stuff.

    It's what we grew up with in school in the 60's.


    This odd ill-designed product was named "Bronco", remember it well. That's all you got in public facilities, schools etc.
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  • charltonJcharltonJ
    oohaahmortimer said:

    golfaddick said:

    brogib said:

    Folded wet wipes

    the bane of all sewerman & the reason why we are getting more & more blocked drains nowdays.

    Also, why pay extra for quality bog paper ? It all does the same thing & all gets flushed away.Not saying you should use the greaseproof paper stuff as mentioned above, but a supermarkets basic range is just as good as Andrex.
    I had to get off the wet wipes cos they were making my arse sore and aggravating fissures so was advised to put a bit of water on toilet paper

    And you can't do that on cheap toilet paper
    As an IBS sufferer who requires 3-4 sloppy ones per morning i use a shit shed load of toilet paper so require the strongest softest quality available so as not to irritate my delicate derrière

    I also get nervous when we get below 10 toilet rolls in the house
    When I lived with just my girlfriend at one point I had a record 92 toilet rolls in the flat

    Always bring extra bog paper on holiday cos 2 toilet rolls isn't enough for one mornings work

    Yes very bizarre but this is one of my specialist subjects cos I spend half my life on the khazi
    (Posted from toilet)
    We're like two peas in a shitty pod
  • adsads
    charltonJ said:

    We're like two peas in a shitty pod

    2 bog rolls every morning and 92 stashed!? Have you considered AA, Andrex Anonymous?
  • oohaahmortimeroohaahmortimer
    That's a minimum of 2 ..... There is no maximum , especially if I've had a big Cadburys session the night before
    PFT
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    oohaahmortimer said:

    That's a minimum of 2 ..... There is no maximum , especially if I've had a big Cadburys session the night before
    PFT


  • MrOneLungMrOneLung
    I think we have established the reason for our poor away numbers. Lack of toilet opportunities around the grounds.
  • MrOneLungMrOneLung
    Seriously, sitting eliminates the risk of slippy bum whereby your toilet rolls shoots up your back on the upwipe. ( is that a word?)
  • ShootersHillGuruShootersHillGuru
    oohaahmortimer said:

    golfaddick said:

    brogib said:

    Folded wet wipes

    the bane of all sewerman & the reason why we are getting more & more blocked drains nowdays.

    Also, why pay extra for quality bog paper ? It all does the same thing & all gets flushed away.Not saying you should use the greaseproof paper stuff as mentioned above, but a supermarkets basic range is just as good as Andrex.
    I had to get off the wet wipes cos they were making my arse sore and aggravating fissures so was advised to put a bit of water on toilet paper

    And you can't do that on cheap toilet paper
    As an IBS sufferer who requires 3-4 sloppy ones per morning i use a shit shed load of toilet paper so require the strongest softest quality available so as not to irritate my delicate derrière

    I also get nervous when we get below 10 toilet rolls in the house
    When I lived with just my girlfriend at one point I had a record 92 toilet rolls in the flat

    Always bring extra bog paper on holiday cos 2 toilet rolls isn't enough for one mornings work

    Yes very bizarre but this is one of my specialist subjects cos I spend half my life on the khazi
    (Posted from toilet)
    So you had more toilet rolls than we had travelling fans ?

  • AFKABartramAFKABartram
    Blimey oohaah, no wonder you work from home!
  • BaldybonceBaldybonce
    MrOneLung said:

    I think we have established the reason for our poor away numbers. Lack of toilet opportunities around the grounds.

    Many years ago I managed to sneak out of work early for a Tuesday night game at Swindon, on arrival just before kick off I had the urge for a poo, so nipped into the bog to find it was clean and even had paper.
    I'd just sat down when there was a hammering on the door and a fellow addick shouting `hurry up mate i'm dying for a shit'.

    Some things just can't be rushed.
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