There is nothing like the panic the onset of a watery shit gives you if you are away from your house.
Cold sweats the lot. Bloody horrible feeling that.
It's also when he creative side of humanity comes out.
...when you're away from your house, 16 miles into a marathon and you're desperately looking for a portaloo only to be told its another 2 miles down the road...
Try running and squeezing your arse cheeks together which turns into a duck-like waddle whilst being cheered on by everyone at the side of the road to keep going...and you just pray that you dont have an accident in front of the crowds...
Anyway, do people really stand up to wipe? This has been a real eye opener this thread. I'm another one in OohAahs pod, need to be at least 90 odd rolls of toilet paper in the house.
Woss worse, the runs or constipation? Serious question
The runs definitely.
Constipated can be uncomfortable for sure but the runs can strike you anywhere.
Back in the days when I commuted from Dartford, I once had to urgently get into the toilet on the train before it reached Slade Green and only got out at Lewisham as the train was on its way back up towards Dartford.
Er....three pages of talking sh*t.....? Got to love the openness and seriousness on CL when it comes to random issues!
Welcome back Jessie, where have you been for so long...............the toilet?
Lol... Thanks but I never left! I come on here every day to read threads. It's just that the Chinese government has been making an extreme effort in internet surveillance in recent months and it has had a very big negative effect on my online activities. I can't 'Like' or 'LOL' any post on here without using proxy tools on a desktop computer. So whenever I'm reading posts on my mobile phone, I just can't 'Like' or 'LOL'. Besides, none of the functions in the posting box work when I'm typing in there so posting has become more difficult than ever. I guess CL/Vanilla uses some framework/data/functions provided by (or related to) Google and that's why I'm having trouble using this site. And unfortunately I don't see things getting back to normal in this respect in the forseeable future....
You have no idea what a big impact the government's control has caused on internet activities in the past couple of years unless you're here in this country. And I can't say too much on this particular issue (internet surveillance) for the obvious reason - it's very dangerous.
Constipation is worse than runs, atleast with the Bombay trots you can remove the pain by a pony, with the dry stools it's gonna rip a hole the size of Coventry to get out
After the Birmingham away game, I stayed around to have several beers with a friend, the crashed out on the last Virgin train back to Euston. Woke up at Euston, dying for a dump, so desperately had to use the toilet on the train, all the time worried that I might get locked in and taken back to the depot in a train toilet.
Not very relevant (I am a sitter and folder incidentally) but I thought I ought to make a contribution to this thread...
There was an addick on his way home from Everton, who got themselves in to a right old two and eight, they went missing on the train home and were finally discovered in the jacks, with their trousers round their ankles a large cut on the head, shit floating around the whole karzi and semi conscious, last I saw of them was the ambulance taking them away, not sure if they post on here but it was a great day out and a fine finish for all except him and his brother.
What do you chaps who are a bit delicate with the bowels do about flights?
I try to eat less the day before and have Imodium at the ready .
I've had a rather sarcastic discussion with a stewardess before when the seatbelt sign had been on for ages after take off (with the only turbulence in my stomach) and she was adamant I should stay in my seat , I got up and said I'd face whatever the consequences were but I'd rather not have soiled pants on for the rest of the flight . She wasn't happy but there was no follow through from her or me
What do you chaps who are a bit delicate with the bowels do about flights?
I try to eat less the day before and have Imodium at the ready .
I've had a rather sarcastic discussion with a stewardess before when the seatbelt sign had been on for ages after take off (with the only turbulence in my stomach) and she was adamant I should stay in my seat , I got up and said I'd face whatever the consequences were but I'd rather not have soiled pants on for the rest of the flight . She wasn't happy but there was no follow through
Surely, then there was no point you going to the bog?
Tried the sit-down technique today... those of you who do that are all f'ing savages.
It was a similar experience to those bikes at theme parks where the handlebars and the front wheel are aligned so that the front wheel does the opposite to what you tell it to do. It's dysfunctional and you're all wrong'uns.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Sit downers = Palace fans. Scrunchers = Millwall fans.
Confused, don't everybody sit down whilst pooing/wiping? It makes physical sense too as when you're sitting your cheeks are looser and parting, if you're standing you'll have to pull them apart whilst trying to wipe, surely that is more savage?
Quite so. Particularly I would have thought for the ladies who, how can I put this, generally have a lot more buttock flesh to negotiate before they reach their little chocolate starfish.
Comments
constipation is uncomfortable but the runs when you're out somewhere is grim.
Try running and squeezing your arse cheeks together which turns into a duck-like waddle whilst being cheered on by everyone at the side of the road to keep going...and you just pray that you dont have an accident in front of the crowds...
Constipated can be uncomfortable for sure but the runs can strike you anywhere.
Back in the days when I commuted from Dartford, I once had to urgently get into the toilet on the train before it reached Slade Green and only got out at Lewisham as the train was on its way back up towards Dartford.
nationsgovernments.http://finance.yahoo.com/news/chinese-army-just-informed-everyone-151017928.html
You have no idea what a big impact the government's control has caused on internet activities in the past couple of years unless you're here in this country. And I can't say too much on this particular issue (internet surveillance) for the obvious reason - it's very dangerous.
The paper here is certainly economy.
Not very relevant (I am a sitter and folder incidentally) but I thought I ought to make a contribution to this thread...
I've had a rather sarcastic discussion with a stewardess before when the seatbelt sign had been on for ages after take off (with the only turbulence in my stomach) and she was adamant I should stay in my seat , I got up and said I'd face whatever the consequences were but I'd rather not have soiled pants on for the rest of the flight .
She wasn't happy but there was no follow through from her or me
This is more like it. Luxury.
Particularly I would have thought for the ladies who, how can I put this, generally have a lot more buttock flesh to negotiate before they reach their little chocolate starfish.