You can remember listening on the wireless to Typhoon Tyson (ably assisted by Brian Statham) deal to the Aussies in Australia. Then Fred Trueman terrorising the Indians who backed away to square leg to get out of the way.
Those were the days.
Seeing Freddie Trueman getting his 300th wicket against the South Africans at the Oval, saving up beer bottles and returning the empties to the off license up the road, finding out we were short and nipping over his wall, to return the same bottles about 6 times over, to pay on the gate and to get the train up there. Sitting on grass by the rope eating warm sandwiches. Those were the days
Going to a test match and forgetting England's opponents.
Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.
I "caught" my own mega log. Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat. Have some payback you bastard.
Postman now refusing to deliver to me.
Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.
There were instructions?
1. Take a piss. 2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel. 3. Do your business 4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card. 5. Pick plate up and empty into loo. 6. Flush contents. 7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie 8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).
Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.
I "caught" my own mega log. Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat. Have some payback you bastard.
Postman now refusing to deliver to me.
Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.
There were instructions?
1. Take a piss. 2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel. 3. Do your business 4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card. 5. Pick plate up and empty into loo. 6. Flush contents. 7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie 8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).
Simples - Any questions?
Add to that store the shit covered card in a cool dry place for the test on day two, oh yes and do the same for day three. WTF, I at least thought it was only the one test, pop it in the bag and post it, three days!!!
Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.
I "caught" my own mega log. Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat. Have some payback you bastard.
Postman now refusing to deliver to me.
Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.
There were instructions?
1. Take a piss. 2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel. 3. Do your business 4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card. 5. Pick plate up and empty into loo. 6. Flush contents. 7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie 8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).
Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.
I "caught" my own mega log. Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat. Have some payback you bastard.
Postman now refusing to deliver to me.
Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.
There were instructions?
1. Take a piss. 2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel. 3. Do your business 4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card. 5. Pick plate up and empty into loo. 6. Flush contents. 7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie 8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).
When you go to the supermarket and whilst docking your shopping trolley back in the docking station you take out your shopping bag put it down next to the trolleys and drive off home leaving it in the trolley docking bay. 15 minutes later, having reached home and then raced back......unbelievably it’s still there! You then get back home take the shopping bag out of the car and put it down next to rear wheel whilst you get dog out of car and inside the house. You then go inside and change into onesey and slippers, phone rings and talk for a few minutes which leads to you having to make another call to someone else for about another 15 minutes. You then go into the kitchen to unload the shopping bag only to realise you’ve left the bleeding shopping outside in the street........it was still there. F’ing unbelievable!
When you go to the supermarket and whilst docking your shopping trolley back in the docking station you take out your shopping bag put it down next to the trolleys and drive off home leaving it in the trolley docking bay. 15 minutes later, having reached home and then raced back......unbelievably it’s still there! You then get back home take the shopping bag out of the car and put it down next to rear wheel whilst you get dog out of car and inside the house. You then go inside and change into onesey and slippers, phone rings and talk for a few minutes which leads to you having to make another call to someone else for about another 15 minutes. You then go into the kitchen to unload the shopping bag only to realise you’ve left the bleeding shopping outside in the street........it was still there. F’ing unbelievable!
You forget to lock the car on with evening when the presents are in it. Next mor I g after walking the dogs you notice the door slightly ajar, oh fuck.
Someone has gone through the car, taken the change from the middle console, the Apple charger, the sunglasses, cleaned out the car.
With dread open the boot, all the presents are still there.
Comments
Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat.
Have some payback you bastard.
Postman now refusing to deliver to me.
2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel.
3. Do your business
4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card.
5. Pick plate up and empty into loo.
6. Flush contents.
7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie
8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).
Simples - Any questions?
The drinks cabinet is overflowing.
The fridge is stuffed to the gunwales.
You're too knackered to partake of a bit of over-indulgence.
15 minutes later, having reached home and then raced back......unbelievably it’s still there!
You then get back home take the shopping bag out of the car and put it down next to rear wheel whilst you get dog out of car and inside the house.
You then go inside and change into onesey and slippers, phone rings and talk for a few minutes which leads to you having to make another call to someone else for about another 15 minutes.
You then go into the kitchen to unload the shopping bag only to realise you’ve left the bleeding shopping outside in the street........it was still there.
F’ing unbelievable!
Someone has gone through the car, taken the change from the middle console, the Apple charger, the sunglasses, cleaned out the car.
With dread open the boot, all the presents are still there.
Must pay more attention.