Last night I went to my local pub. It was very hot and crowded in there and I was overdressed (as in too many layers, I wasn't wearing a dinner jacket or anything like that). After a while I felt so hot and sweaty, I felt that I needed a change. I only live around the corner so at an opportune moment I sneaked out, ran home, had a quick wash and changed into a new t-shirt. I didn't want to get hot and bothered again, so I didn't bother with a jumper or coat.
Five minutes later and feeling as fresh as a daisy, I was walking back to the pub. As I got to the top of my road, two young women were walking the other way. On seeing me one of them turned to the other and said, "Cor"! I was impressed, 'the old magic's still there' I thought to myself. Then she continued her not so quiet conversation, "Cor, look at that old man. He's only got a t-shirt on, he must be freezing".
Walking down Roupell Street on my way to Waterloo and somebody has got a coal fire going in one of those terraced houses (you’ve probably seen them even if you haven’t been down there because there’s filming going on from time to time for period dramas) and it stinks and I wondered how bad it must have been when we were kids, especially before they brought in the clean air act, when ever house had a coal fire.
Probably burning the furniture, as they can’t afford the energy bills.
According to Right Move the average house price in Roupell Street is £1,214,000. I think if you can afford that,then a bag of coal is not going to be a problem!
When you go away with the lads, your roomie slips on a pair of slippers and instead of the rest of you brutally abusing him, you all look on with an air of jealousy
I was on a bus a few days ago. There were a few empty seats, but as I was only going about five stops I decided to stand.
A twenty-something bloke looked up from his phone and asked me if I wanted to sit down in his seat. I declined his polite offer, but died a little inside.
When someone walks into a pub and her jeans have loads of holes. I think “can’t she afford a new pair?” or “I’d get a refund if they’re newish”; she seems to think they’re ok.
When it’s a Friday night, and rather than looking forward to going out to a pub or club, you’re excited, because you found a new as yet unwatched episode of ‘Worlds Most Scenic Railway journeys’ showing the Alpine delights of Austria, ’
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Five minutes later and feeling as fresh as a daisy, I was walking back to the pub. As I got to the top of my road, two young women were walking the other way. On seeing me one of them turned to the other and said, "Cor"! I was impressed, 'the old magic's still there' I thought to myself. Then she continued her not so quiet conversation, "Cor, look at that old man. He's only got a t-shirt on, he must be freezing".
A twenty-something bloke looked up from his phone and asked me if I wanted to sit down in his seat. I declined his polite offer, but died a little inside.
Pure filth, it shouldn’t be legal!!
Its a cheapskates way of getting around the world!
Christ alive, I used to be a man once