Weirdest thing to happen has gotta be some treacle not wantin me to service her that night, later turned she was batting for the other team all along, so weren't my fault at all..
One "date" I fondly recall, was when I was doing a bit of mini cabbing for some extra cash back in the 80s. I picked up this really lovely woman with her shopping and we were getting on really well as I drove her back to her house. We sat there chatting for a bit outside her house, then she said she was going out later that night, would I like to pick her up, take her to her night out with the girls then collect her later in the evening with a view to then popping in for a "coffee." So I agree to do all this, thinking that my chat up skills really were super silky smooth and I was the bees knees, and we duly arrive outside her place about half eleven. "Right," she says," just give me a moment to get rid of the baby sitter, then I'll open the door and let you in." Fair enough, I think, the way she was acting up to me, this was going to be good. So I sit in the car outside her house for 5 minutes. Which turns into 10 minutes. Then the lights go out. That's a rather strange way to get rid of a baby sitter I think to myself. Then it dawns on me. There is going to be no "coffee" here. As the clouds part to reveal an apparition of a giant Gareth Hunt in the sky giving me the coffee bean hand shuffle, I go and knock at the door. No answer. And the worst part (almost) was that I hadn't taken her fare because I thought that was going to be settled one way or the other later. I think I may have gone back there the next day to try and at least get the money she owed, but there was predictably no answer. In a funny way I later quite admired how she played me for such a complete sucker, and she was a bit of a stunner, so presumably that is how she got away with it. I wonder how many other vain cab drivers she pulled that little stunt on, eh.
And there was me thinking this was going to be the best ever episode of Fake Taxi.
Not a date but.. In the early 80's about 20 of us from the Man of Kent in Eltham went to Torremolinos for a couple of weeks. Anyway, one night a bunch of us ended up in an apartment with a load of Irish girls. Not all went to plan so we decided to sneak out in the early hours, but not before we all had a big shit in the toilet and left without flushing.
Weirdest thing to happen has gotta be some treacle not wantin me to service her that night, later turned she was batting for the other team all along, so weren't my fault at all..
Surprised you couldn't cure her mate!
No not this one. No wonder her eyes lit up when I asked if she fancied Donna's kebab....
Not a date but.. In the early 80's about 20 of us from the Man of Kent in Eltham went to Torremolinos for a couple of weeks. Anyway, one night a bunch of us ended up in an apartment with a load of Irish girls. Not all went to plan so we decided to sneak out in the early hours, but not before we all had a big shit in the toilet and left without flushing.
Not a date but.. In the early 80's about 20 of us from the Man of Kent in Eltham went to Torremolinos for a couple of weeks. Anyway, one night a bunch of us ended up in an apartment with a load of Irish girls. Not all went to plan so we decided to sneak out in the early hours, but not before we all had a big shit in the toilet and left without flushing.
This beer at Bury....you know it's not a date don't you?
Mate, you really don't know what you're getting in to do you!
You're scaring me now.
The wife will be 35 week pregnant come Saturday. I might have to make her eat a vindaloo, a pineapple, take her on a bumpy car ride......and if I really have to, shag her. Anything to bring an early birth on and avoid Bury.
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
Probably wearing no knickers though if I understand correctly.
Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
Did something similar myself once about ten years ago. Met a girl in Zens in Dartford when I was absolutely trashed and swapped numbers. Got texting and agreed to meet for a drink a few days later. I couldn't remember what she looked like at all, but luckily she recognised me. She was a munter. I'd made a real error. She had zero personality as well. Said I was going to the toilet and did a runner back to my car. Drove past her on the way home and she saw me - she was not happy! Never heard from her again weirdly.
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
Do you think she was expecting you to eat the fur coat ?
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
Do you think she was expecting you to eat the fur coat ?
I'm quite disappointed that no one has either been shat on or had a girl get her cock out
Not me, but a good friend of mine used to work in Thailand. A night out for him involves a lot more than alcohol. Anyway, meets this girl, goes back to hers, husband is there and wants to watch. Fine, he thinks, he's done worse, gets underway, and she wacks it out. I'd love to say he then did a runner...
He told me this off his face one night and still gets quite angry when I tell people down the pub. He'll love me for posting it on here.
Actually I was too much of a gentleman to actually say fuck off, I was thinking it. I wasn't a gentleman to make my excuses and leave her at the tube station admittedly, I figured she would work it out when i reminded her we were supposed to be going for a vegetarian meal, and also I really couldn't handle being around her fur coat.
The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat! Fuck off. Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together. Fuck the fuck off, fuck off. Left her at the tube station. Fucking fuck OFF!
Do you think she was expecting you to eat the fur coat ?
Actually I was too much of a gentleman to actually say fuck off, I was thinking it. I wasn't a gentleman to make my excuses and leave her at the tube station admittedly, I figured she would work it out when i reminded her we were supposed to be going for a vegetarian meal, and also I really couldn't handle being around her fur coat.
Oh right, gonna say, you missed out there pal, she was an absolute weapon out of that coat and fuckin mental in the bedroom to boot (leather boot)
Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
Did something similar myself once about ten years ago. Met a girl in Zens in Dartford when I was absolutely trashed and swapped numbers. Got texting and agreed to meet for a drink a few days later. I couldn't remember what she looked like at all, but luckily she recognised me. She was a munter. I'd made a real error. She had zero personality as well. Said I was going to the toilet and did a runner back to my car. Drove past her on the way home and she saw me - she was not happy! Never heard from her again weirdly.
Similar. Many moons ago my job entailed regularly calling various people around the country. I always gave the girls a bit of chat and one, based in Southampton, sounded absolutely lovely. Bright, sparky, funny - and interested. One day she said she would be in London the following week and asked if I fancied meeting up one evening. We arranged that we would meet near Moorgate, by the escalators down from the Barbican high walk. Go for a drink and then take it from there. On the appointed evening I set off, went via the high walk, and travelled expectantly down the escalator to meet my date. Then I spotted the complete obese munter awaiting me - got off the down escalator and went straight back up the up escalator and high tailed it out of there. Nothing was ever said afterwards, but the calls were far more frosty and briefer from then on.
Comments
Have just clocked your lol's ffs!
Surprised you couldn't cure her mate!
In the early 80's about 20 of us from the Man of Kent in Eltham went to Torremolinos for a couple of weeks.
Anyway, one night a bunch of us ended up in an apartment with a load of Irish girls. Not all went to plan so we decided to sneak out in the early hours, but not before we all had a big shit in the toilet and left without flushing.
I wouldn't describe it as a date exactly but a few of us went out for drinks including a girl I had my eye on for a while.
It all progressed rather faster than anticipated and we got a bit closer than I was expected while we still out.
Cue returning to the bar and suffering a decent level of banter about why I had blood on my hand. Hadn't noticed.
Unfortunately the relationship didn't last for many months after I moved back to London from Wales.
The wife will be 35 week pregnant come Saturday. I might have to make her eat a vindaloo, a pineapple, take her on a bumpy car ride......and if I really have to, shag her. Anything to bring an early birth on and avoid Bury.
Fuck off.
Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together.
Fuck the fuck off, fuck off.
Left her at the tube station.
Fucking fuck OFF!
It's 666
Do you wear leather shoes ?
http://www.vegetarian-shoes.co.uk/
Fill your boots as it were.
Also a canvass wallets and a canvass watch strap.
Anyway this is about dates that are weird.
He told me this off his face one night and still gets quite angry when I tell people down the pub. He'll love me for posting it on here.
I wasn't a gentleman to make my excuses and leave her at the tube station admittedly, I figured she would work it out when i reminded her we were supposed to be going for a vegetarian meal, and also I really couldn't handle being around her fur coat.
Only wear my mink and ermine lined smoking jacket out for special occasions these days.