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Business critical question - need help before 5.20pm if possible please

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  • iainment said:

    This type of thread shows there are some here who know how to deal with these issues empathetically.

    And some who are clueless when it comes to dealing with people.

    I dont think clueless is the right word... Think there are some on here who just dont take life seriously (me included)
    Fair enough.
  • can I just say that you are right to tell him. My mother in law had a district nurse round a few months ago and he stunk. It was just the once so we didn't say anything. However, we found out from another nurse a couple of weeks later that he'd had to have his leg amputated as it had gangrene. He hadn't told/seen anyone about his condition and his work mates had been too embarrassed to tell him that he smelt. Now they wish they had. Not saying it's this serious but don't just assume it's body odour.
  • T.C.E said:

    Have had to do this myself. No real easy way but make sure you do it away from the rest of team and say something along the lines of "without wishing to cause offence, we thought you should be made aware that the team have noticed that you have a strong body odour. Apologies if there's a medical reason for this but we've all noticed it, is there anything I/we can do to help"

    Try and be as sensitive as you can but you will need to get the message across.

    I've read that six or seven times and there's no crude remarks or innuendo, quite frankly I'm appalled. ;)
    Agreed... When I saw Cabbles was going to take Dave's advice my instant reaction was... Errr WHAT?

    To be fair though it is very good advice
  • It's not my son is it
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  • edited September 2016
    Start off with word association.

  • Honesty and a sympathetic attitude is definitely the best policy here - BUT - I would advise against telling him that the whole office have noticed. Better for him to think it's just you who is either
    a) doing him a favour before everyone else notices or
    b) an insensitive bastard.

    Imagine how humiliated he'd feel coming out of the meeting knowing everyone else has been talking about how smelly he is. Nobody needs that.
    Having said all that, if he asks you who thinks he smells, don't lie.

    This is true - plus there's only 8 of us including him. I don't want him to think we've all been chatting about it etc as an ongoing topic of conversation

    However, whatever way I tell him he'll feel a bit deflated. Just gotta bite the bullet here
  • edited September 2016
    I think we're all surprised you haven't written out an email to the offender @Cabbles...

    Usually your not at a loss when putting pen to paper
  • These are very diplomatic answers.. I'm disappointed.

    May I suggest interpretative dance? Or maybe a limerick?
  • cabbles said:

    Honesty and a sympathetic attitude is definitely the best policy here - BUT - I would advise against telling him that the whole office have noticed. Better for him to think it's just you who is either
    a) doing him a favour before everyone else notices or
    b) an insensitive bastard.

    Imagine how humiliated he'd feel coming out of the meeting knowing everyone else has been talking about how smelly he is. Nobody needs that.
    Having said all that, if he asks you who thinks he smells, don't lie.

    This is true - plus there's only 8 of us including him. I don't want him to think we've all been chatting about it etc as an ongoing topic of conversation

    However, whatever way I tell him he'll feel a bit deflated. Just gotta bite the bullet here
    Yep. Can't get away from that. Hopefully he'll take it in the spirit it's intended and view it as a lesson learned. Good luck.
  • I have no advice to offer as I can absolutely guarantee that you're less socially awkward than me in these kinds of situations.

    Just here for the update after you've told him.
  • Just be straight and honest ...

    Dave, there is no easy way to say this so I'll give it to you straight. YOU STINK .....Take a shower, perleeeez (then walk off)
  • Tell him privately but honestly; dont hint or buy deodrant ect. just be straight
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  • As others have said, do it discretely and privately, maybe disguise it as something else so that it he doesn't think the whole office knows what the conversation is about, even if they do!
  • Start off with word association.

    I like it, slide it in there subtly.

    Think of something that links these words...

    Skunk, garbage, strong cheese, your overall body odour in the office, nappies
  • Feck all that chief---- had to tell a transgender person to stop using the ladies toilets once --- after complaints from the ladies.

    Or telling a young lady that she wasn't going clubbing or fecking surfing and she should dress correctly for ExxonMobil HQ---- didn't go down well that one
  • LuckyReds said:

    To be entirely honest, if you're not HR or his line manager then I'd be a bit pissed off if I was you - and subsequently I'd do it quite informally.

    Ask him for a word and go in to a well ventilated but empty room, and just say "Hey mate, this is a bit of an awkward one but don't worry. I know this summer has been a bit of a scorcher and everything, but you're giving off a bit of a unhealthy smell at the moment. Is there everything alright and is therr anything we can do?". Once the ice has broken then it should be a lot easier, maybe end the conversation with a quick light hearted bit of advice that will make him feel a bit easier - i.e "A bloke down the gym had a bit of a go at me a few months ago actually, rude wanker. Anyway, he did tell me about this deodorant by xxxx which is brilliant, smells decent too. I dont go out without it anymore hah" - even if its bullshit. If he thinks you've been in a similar boat and are being helpful, he may welcome your advice.

    The issue is, if it's a health condition then that needs to be accounted for - but if it's a health condition then tbh nobody has any right to ask other than management and HR. So I'd be pretty careful to be entirely honest, not only for his dignity and your own embarassment, but this has the potential to go very wrong IMO.

    I think Henry works in HR (?) so perhaps heed his advice quite carefully.

    The irony is my company runs corporate events for HR Directors, so yes I know all about this. However being 8 people and me being one of the long severs I'll have to do it as we have no HR manager

    I think Hemry is marketing - the legend that is Bob Munro is our HR guru


    Yet he's an a HR Director so is probably too strategic for this sort of issue :wink:
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