Just watching Huddersfield v Blackburn and a player went in a bit late and clipped another players ankle.
Loads of crowd outrage, obviously, but as the ref was dealing with it, someone in the crowd screamed at the top of his/her voice:
”HE COULD’VE KILLED HIM!!”
Don’t know why, but really tickled me.
Any more?
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'Who's having your old girl this afternoon linesman?"
linesman replies "How original. I've been getting that for the last 10 years"
Quick as a flash the punter blasted back
"Yeah and so has your wife"
I was creasing up. Classic banter.
The bloke started in his normal fashion (first name terms).....
”Eidur.......Eidur”
”F*ck off you, you, you, you” .....(Struggling)
* people waiting for the Wordsworth-esque finish.....
regaining his composure.....
”Eidur.....Eidur, F*ck off you Eskimo Slaaaag”
Made me laugh anyway 😄
”Evening Tone” 😂😂😂
Anyway, Curbs eventually made the change, Parker entered the fray and promptly gave the ball away. A pause, then from behind me, at a volume that could be heard at White Hart Line, came "GET PARKER OFF!"
Quick as a flash some Sarf East London gruff shouts "Come on you C***s, get the ball in the back of the F*****g net.
sounded pretty upset by it as well 😂
we must have sounded like right idiots to people around us talking about the performance of someone not even playing.
Hardly anyone there, me and the old man in the Arthur Waite and someone shouts at Steve McKenzie
’You’re shit McKenzie!’
To which McKenzie replies ‘ I’m better than you!’
made me laugh anyway!
Nico Claessen scores for Spurs, bloke shouts 'fuck off back to Holland you Belgian cunt'.
Assistant referee in front of us flags for offside which signalled a tirade of abuse from the fans around me ‘you f***ing w***er’, ‘p*ss poor decision’, ‘stick your f***ing flag up your arse you c**t’ etc. etc.
But what struck me was the shout from one old boy near the front who had obviously been a fan since 1945 who, incandescent with rage, in one of those Pathe News half posh half cockney accents, saved his well rehearsed retort that made all around feel like they’d been transported back in time - ‘What’s the matter Lino? Got the sun in your eyes?!’
Spurs take the lead but then Villa stick four past them within an hour and all you could hear was the Villa supporters singing “Happy birthday to you...”
I remember this because I was round my Spurs brother-in-law’s house and he was furious. (They ended up drawing 4-4)
Made me chuckle.
At one point an opposition keeper was wasting time, and had been for ages, at which point a guy a few seats from me goes "well, if only... If only there was some way we could warn him, maybe some kind of carding system?" Loud enough for everyone to hear.
Genuinely made me chuckle but I feel you probably had to have witnessed it.
We had a free kick on the halfway line, giving Curbs the opportunity to send Svensson on. Bet you are really scared now Middlesbrough. Fortune launches it straight on Svenssons head. 1-0. A very embarrassed fan who refused to stand up and applaud it.
One where a particular Lifer called my hubby ugly.
And the other where another Lifer who now does a bit of commentary loudly declared that Bart Williams couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo, just before scoring a worldly from said free kick.
Both of those moments had me in stitches.