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Things fans in the crowd have said that made you laugh

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    muppetman said:
    Playing against Forest, a bloke in the east stand shouted out.
    Oi Van Hooijdonk, you look like Duane Dibbley.

    That still makes me laugh, even now.
    I think that was me.
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    Not strictly from the crowd, but I hope the adjudicators allow it. 

    Selhurst Park, v Man Utd around 1989-90 maybe. I was at the game but in the Arthur Wait, so heard this second hand from a family friend who used to be a steward in the Sainsbury's End - so I can't prove it, but believe it all the same.

    Anyway, Les Sealey was in goal for Man U this game. He was a 'popular' figure with crowds back in the day as he was a proper WUM on the pitch, so as normal he was getting serious abuse all match. Ball goes behind for a goal kick, Sealey goes to retrieve it. One fella, particularly gobby all game, runs to the front of the stand to shout 'Sealey! You're fucking shit, you useless c**t!' (or something very similar). Sealey, quick as a flash, looks straight at him and says 'I live in a £500,000 house (this was 30 years ago, remember) and drive a brand new Mercedes. What the fuck have you got?'  

    Not a peep from the geezer for the rest of the game. 


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    When a striker who i can't remember, blazed over at the Covered end. A wag next to me said, "Can someone nip  across to MAKROs and ask for our ball back"
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    I have seen a pipe band turn quicker than you... A wag said about one of our defenders years ago. 
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    Or... He ain't the roadrunner when a ball gets flung up the wing miles ahead of one of our players. 
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    I recall from the early 70s (when things weren't great) going 1 0 down at the Valley. 

    The covered end erupted in a a rousing chorus of 'we're 1-0 down again', to Mary Hopkin's 'Those Were The Days'.  Particularly pleasing was the accompanying conga line formed - quite spectacular without the restriction of seats in the North stand.  
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    edited January 2020
    Not strictly from the crowd, but I hope the adjudicators allow it. 

    Selhurst Park, v Man Utd around 1989-90 maybe. I was at the game but in the Arthur Wait, so heard this second hand from a family friend who used to be a steward in the Sainsbury's End - so I can't prove it, but believe it all the same.

    Anyway, Les Sealey was in goal for Man U this game. He was a 'popular' figure with crowds back in the day as he was a proper WUM on the pitch, so as normal he was getting serious abuse all match. Ball goes behind for a goal kick, Sealey goes to retrieve it. One fella, particularly gobby all game, runs to the front of the stand to shout 'Sealey! You're fucking shit, you useless c**t!' (or something very similar). Sealey, quick as a flash, looks straight at him and says 'I live in a £500,000 house (this was 30 years ago, remember) and drive a brand new Mercedes. What the fuck have you got?'  

    Not a peep from the geezer for the rest of the game. 


    Thoughts of Murphy and his watch spring to mind. 
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    Was at a game in late seventies was a ref who looked like he hadn’t missed too many dinners he had a hard time keeping up and missed a few calls. This bloke behind me was grumbling about him finally lost it and yelled “Get off you fat F****r give the lino a shot I’ve seen more go in a F*****g Asprin”.
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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
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    DaveMehmet said:If it's the game I'm thinking about we bashed them 3-0 and Crouch was absolutely awful.
    We were playing Aston Villa at home when Peter crouch wasn’t prolific and was a bit of a joke. We went in late on one of our defenders resulted in chants of off off off from the Charlton ends. The guy behind me stood up and shouted “me is shit, leave him on”
    Was that the game we were singing “Leaburn, Leaburn” to him?

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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
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    My 4 year old was shouting at the top of his voice at the Bristol game to one of their players "get up you bloody diver" which had every one around us in stiches
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    addickson said:
    At a Cambuslang Rangers v Vale of Leven game in the early 90s, heard 2 old boys chatter at half time.
    “I see there was a bomb scare at Arthur Thompson (Glasgow’s Godfather) funeral”
    “Aye, someone’s going to pay for that”
    “He was a vicious man, used to nail your hands to the floor and all sorts”
    ”Aye, he was a bad, bad man thats certain”
    ”He kept a lovely garden mind”
    Sounds like one of the Piranha brothers.
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    Away at the Manor Ground.  Giving the keeper stick, as always.

    "OI, KEEPER.  My mate from Oxford reckons you're crap"
    Pause
    "I didn't believe him"
    Longer pause.
    "UNTIL NOW!"

    I seem to remember we won 3-0,


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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
    13th May 1989. Doubt you were there.
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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
    13th May 1989. Doubt you were there.
    Apologies, I don't remember losing 4-0 to them twice in 4 years.
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    edited January 2020
    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
    13th May 1989. Doubt you were there.
    Apologies, I don't remember losing 4-0 to them twice in 4 years.
    We'd secured safety by beating Derby 3-0 in midweek. As the goals went in we were singing We don't care!
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    We beat Derby in midweek and stayed up, so we had a whole 90 minutes where it didn't matter what happened - unlike the  previous two seasons. A good job as well, as Forest were a real force in those days, we were lucky to get the 0. And yes, it absolutely pissed down.
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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
    13th May 1989. Doubt you were there.
    Apologies, I don't remember losing 4-0 to them twice in 4 years.
    Terry Wilson was a superb player, who I think had his career tragically cut short by injury.
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    Late 80s at Forest, played off the park by a Terry Wilson masterclass in the pouring rain, but as results went out way, "4 nil and we don't care". Also who can forget, "he's got a pineapple on his head".
    Pretty sure it wasn't Terry Wilson.
    We got thumped in '86 and he hadn't made his debut by then.
    13th May 1989. Doubt you were there.
    Apologies, I don't remember losing 4-0 to them twice in 4 years.
    Terry Wilson was a superb player, who I think had his career tragically cut short by injury.
    Yes, I always think of him as having a "strange/different" hair cut.
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    iamdan said:
    ‘Morgan Fox ain’t bad’ 
    That was a scout from Sheffield Wednesday.
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    edited January 2020
    Not strictly from the crowd, but I hope the adjudicators allow it. 

    Selhurst Park, v Man Utd around 1989-90 maybe. I was at the game but in the Arthur Wait, so heard this second hand from a family friend who used to be a steward in the Sainsbury's End - so I can't prove it, but believe it all the same.

    Anyway, Les Sealey was in goal for Man U this game. He was a 'popular' figure with crowds back in the day as he was a proper WUM on the pitch, so as normal he was getting serious abuse all match. Ball goes behind for a goal kick, Sealey goes to retrieve it. One fella, particularly gobby all game, runs to the front of the stand to shout 'Sealey! You're fucking shit, you useless c**t!' (or something very similar). Sealey, quick as a flash, looks straight at him and says 'I live in a £500,000 house (this was 30 years ago, remember) and drive a brand new Mercedes. What the fuck have you got?'  

    Not a peep from the geezer for the rest of the game. 


    The funny thing was I did hear that at the Sainsbury's end by Les Sealey but I thought it was against Luton mainly because it wasn't packed and the Man utd games were ?
    After that game and Sealey having the last word, the Guy would always shout at the away keepers:  "And what effing car do you drive" 

    Any other lifers remember the guy or is it you ?
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    At the cup game yesterday a fan just kept screaming "JONNY!!" at Jonny Williams when he was warming up, everytime he completed his sprint to the covered end. Jonny thought it was funny too! 
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    “FFS Pritchard” from the bloke who sat behind me in the East stand and blamed poor Bradley for everything from mis-hit passes to global warming.
    I had extreme pleasure in pointing out that Pritchard had been taken off about 20 minutes previously.
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