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Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.0
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Tinie Tempah is 5ft 8"
Giant Haystacks was 6ft 11"
Gladstone Small is 5ft 11"0 -
If only God would give me some clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.0
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I like to eat bananas, cos they've got no bones.0
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Why did they stop making Spangles Old English.0
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And another thing - did they really think we wouldn't notice Waggon Wheels getting smaller!0
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I've just met this lovely 62 year old in Lynham St Annes.0
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Did you ever know that you're my hero?0
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.0
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New. Improved. Heinz Hair Dressing. With a hint of Lemon.0
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Cheat!!!!!North Lower Neil said:I've just met this lovely 62 year old in Lynham St Annes.
Poor Adrian will have to go back to his wife.
Can't believe I am finding this thread so amusing my mind must be shrinking.
Is it possible this is a script from the Simpsons with names changed for confidential reasons?0 -
Russell Brand, One Direction and stripping lollypop ladies in the Closing Ceremony..........I think I'll go and practice my balloon folding.0
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Hell hath no fury like the undigested sesame seed.............wreaks havoc on your haemorrhoids.0
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Printer ink cartridges? Complicated, aren't they?0
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Piers Morgan..............he may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.0
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i miss vanilla coke
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..and then the dog only went and sat on my Tiger tank.0
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i miss vanilla coke
Two words - coke float.0 -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.0
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One goal went past perry.0
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Went past Perry Sucking...0
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A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his hospital with a couple of students.
They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his
students,"Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet opera,
but today, as you can see from his goose stepping, he thinks he's the
World War II head of the Nazi Luftwaffe. What condition do you think he's
suffering from?"
The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic with a multiple
personality disorder?"
The second student says, "No, I think he just doesn't know whether he's
Carmen or Goering...."0 -
Gandi...seeg?0
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Will Apple see the compensation money from Samsung before Sheffield United see theirs from Wet Sham?0
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There are many Yorkshiremen who are taciturn, truthful, well-informed, open-minded, handsome and peaceful, even if no particular individual immediately springs to mind.0
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Trebuchet, device to propel Yorkshiremen socially away from you.0
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Why the hell didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?0
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you could be dancing.0
