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Toilet Roll

AidenTheAddick
AidenTheAddick Posts: 1,061
in Not Sports Related
Scrunch or fold?

I was horrified to discover that some people scrunch. I assumed EVERYONE folded.

You won't get many more important topics than this on here, so you're welcome.
«134

Comments

  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,205
    We need a survey.
    BTW, the USA, why does the country that has the largest arses in the world have the smallest sheets of bog paper?
    Fold.
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,728
    Just throw the rolls from the north upper.
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,652
    I don't understand the question
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,194
    Andrex the purple pack is my toilet paper of choice .... Fold but I wipe my arse sitting down back to front not fit enough to stand up and wipe
    How do you wipe ?
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,652
    Stand up !!!!!!!!!!!
    I'm out of this now.
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 38,006
    I fold to wipe.

    I never realised people sat down to wipe, I always stood up. But then someone told me they sat to wipe a few years back and I havent looked back since. Makes so much more sense.
  • AidenTheAddick
    AidenTheAddick Posts: 1,061
    I didn't even think of sit down or stand up... Siddarn!
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    oohaahmortimer said:

    Andrex the purple pack is my toilet paper of choice .... Fold but I wipe my arse sitting down back to front not fit enough to stand up and wipe
    How do you wipe ?

    using my origami skills I like to make a replica of the flying Scotsman and wipe engine first.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,728
    Stand up and scrunch
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    Does anyone remember the toilet paper that was like greaseproof paper? usually to be found in public toilets. Horrible stuff.

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  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,899
    remain seated.
    Scrunch.
    Lift balls.
    Wipe.
  • ads
    ads Posts: 3,226
    Baldybonce said:

    oohaahmortimer said:

    Andrex the purple pack is my toilet paper of choice .... Fold but I wipe my arse sitting down back to front not fit enough to stand up and wipe
    How do you wipe ?

    using my origami skills I like to make a replica of the flying Scotsman and wipe engine first.
    Train inspired arse wiping
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    ads said:

    Baldybonce said:

    oohaahmortimer said:

    Andrex the purple pack is my toilet paper of choice .... Fold but I wipe my arse sitting down back to front not fit enough to stand up and wipe
    How do you wipe ?

    using my origami skills I like to make a replica of the flying Scotsman and wipe engine first.
    Train inspired arse wiping
    Real Charlton.
  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,373
    Baldybonce said:

    Does anyone remember the toilet paper that was like greaseproof paper? usually to be found in public toilets. Horrible stuff.

    Izal. Incredible stuff.
  • seth plum
    seth plum Posts: 53,448
    edited May 2015
    Tsk. Toilet paper?
    Everybody knows a sheet of moist moss lifted from a rock is best, and also has astringent qualities.
    Andrex is for wimps, and people who don't live in the Scottish highlands.
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,652
    seth plum said:

    Tsk. Toilet paper?
    Everybody knows a sheet of moist moss lifted from a rock is best, and also has astringent qualities.
    Andrex is for wimps, and people who don't live in the Scottish highlands.


    Moss !!!!!!!! I use a thistle

  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    charltonkeston said:

    Baldybonce said:

    Does anyone remember the toilet paper that was like greaseproof paper? usually to be found in public toilets. Horrible stuff.

    Izal. Incredible stuff.
    you couldn't scrunch that, more of an extra smooth glide.
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    seth plum said:

    Tsk. Toilet paper?
    Everybody knows a sheet of moist moss lifted from a rock is best, and also has astringent qualities.
    Andrex is for wimps, and people who don't live in the Scottish highlands.

    do you wipe with one hand whilst slapping midges with the other?
  • SantaClaus
    SantaClaus Posts: 7,673
    edited May 2015
    My 4 and 5 year olds have worked out that wiping your ass is for mugs. It's much better to scream 'no more poo daddy' and dare me to ignore them.
  • ilovelucy
    ilovelucy Posts: 220
    No toilet paper. Squat over an outside "humanure" hole, (dig, fill, dig new hole, gradually creating richer growing soil). Shower off, dry off. Sorted au naturelle! Very pleasant, plus minimal carbon footprint, or even zero c.f. via nature's shower, if it's raining out!

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  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,667
    ilovelucy said:

    No toilet paper. Squat over an outside "humanure" hole, (dig, fill, dig new hole, gradually creating richer growing soil). Shower off, dry off. Sorted au naturelle! Very pleasant, plus minimal carbon footprint, or even zero c.f. via nature's shower, if it's raining out!

    and when you're shopping in Eltham?
  • brogib
    brogib Posts: 2,128
    Folded wet wipes
  • Addickted2TheReds
    Addickted2TheReds Posts: 7,754
    Stand, fold, wipe.

    Any other way is completely wrong.
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,652
    Standing just seems both mechanically and morally wrong.
  • ilovelucy
    ilovelucy Posts: 220
    Baldybonce said:

    ilovelucy said:

    No toilet paper. Squat over an outside "humanure" hole, (dig, fill, dig new hole, gradually creating richer growing soil). Shower off, dry off. Sorted au naturelle! Very pleasant, plus minimal carbon footprint, or even zero c.f. via nature's shower, if it's raining out!

    and when you're shopping in Eltham?
    Best leave that one alone, the answer will seem even more odd than the post. However, some evolved countries have arse showers in the public cubicles, and some posher venues even incorporate an undercarriage dryer in the set-up!
  • Halix
    Halix Posts: 2,237
    What a crap subject.

    My personal attendant sorts mine.
  • purdis
    purdis Posts: 1,046
    Roll on the new season
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,720
    brogib said:

    Folded wet wipes

    the bane of all sewerman & the reason why we are getting more & more blocked drains nowdays.

    Also, why pay extra for quality bog paper ? It all does the same thing & all gets flushed away.Not saying you should use the greaseproof paper stuff as mentioned above, but a supermarkets basic range is just as good as Andrex.
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,423
    edited May 2015
    Izal,
    When men were men and when the box was empty you'd the edge of the Karzy door!! ;)
  • brogib
    brogib Posts: 2,128
    golfaddick said:

    brogib said:

    Folded wet wipes

    the bane of all sewerman & the reason why we are getting more & more blocked drains nowdays.

    Also, why pay extra for quality bog paper ? It all does the same thing & all gets flushed away.Not saying you should use the greaseproof paper stuff as mentioned above, but a supermarkets basic range is just as good as Andrex.
    We got a septic tank, so all out wipes go in a bin.

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