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Weirdest things that have happened to you on a date

North Lower Neil
North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Let's have your stories.

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Comments

  • harveys_gardener
    harveys_gardener Posts: 7,038
    Link?
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    I went on a date when I was 17 with a girl from work. Ended up in the Eltham Pizza Hut and she started getting upset because she thought another girl at work fancied me and ended up breaking down and hyper venterlating. The other diners were looking at me obviously thinking it was my fault and that I was a shit.
  • tom_k
    tom_k Posts: 1,207
    I met a really good looking local girl in a bar whilst on holiday in Zuric. One thing lead to another and she invited me back to her house for a nightcap. We walked for miles to her apartment and when we got inside there was a bloke inside watching tv. I assumed it was her flatmate but no, it was her boyfriend.

    I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
  • red_murph
    red_murph Posts: 2,460
    Had a blind date with a girl called Suze after being set up by a mutual friend.

    Been married for two years but still seems weird! ;)

    On said first date we went on a pub crawl around Borough and in a crowded boozer a mouse came onto the dance floor did a little spin around on its toes then buggered off again. Yes we were drunk but it definitely happened, how it didn't get trodden on I'll never know :)

    Didn't eat there.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
    tom- k said:

    I met a really good looking local girl in a bar whilst on holiday in Zuric. One thing lead to another and she invited me back to her house for a nightcap. We walked for miles to her apartment and when we got inside there was a bloke inside watching tv. I assumed it was her flatmate but no, it was her boyfriend.

    I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.

    "You're just watching, right?

    ...Right?"
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.

    On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,890
    edited July 2016
    .
  • CAFCsayer
    CAFCsayer Posts: 10,222
    DaveMehmet said:

    I went on a date when I was 17 with a girl from work. Ended up in the Eltham Pizza Hut and she started getting upset because she thought another girl at work fancied me and ended up breaking down and hyper venterlating. The other diners were looking at me obviously thinking it was my fault and that I was a shit.

    It was probably the fact that you took her to Pizza Hut on a date
  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 51,981
    Moist knickers on the first date fnaar fnaar.
  • Huskaris
    Huskaris Posts: 9,843
    She paid her half.
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  • SDAddick
    SDAddick Posts: 14,467
    On three of four different occasions, girls have gone out on dates with me. Weird.
  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 51,981
    edited July 2016
    Not a date, but some years ago, I was at the Christmas works party.

    It was getting late, we were pretty drunk & I was dancing with the "average" looking office junior, who out of the blue tells me that she loves me.

    I thought wtf & burst out laughing. I didn't meant to be cruel, but was totally gobsmacked.

    15 minutes later in the middle of the dance floor her best mate comes up to me & slaps me round the chops really hard & screams something like, "that's for being so horrible to my mate".

    The whole party stops & everyone's giving me evils.

    @kin 'ell, I hadn't done anything !



  • Daggs
    Daggs Posts: 1,344
    Having just broken up with a long term girlfriend, I went to a house party where I got totally trollied. Nonetheless i was trying my best to impress a quite attractive girl. Despite my drunkeness, she stayed in my company!!
    However, when I let slip an uncontrollable silent fart that stunk like a sewage works on a hot day the budding romance was over...................
  • Tom
    Tom Posts: 78
    Pulled a lovely looking girl in Bexleyheath in 2000. Got absolutely steaming and went back to hers. Fell asleep almost as soon as I walked through the door. Legged it as soon as I woke up due to going Liverpool away. A week later we met up again after the 3-3 with Man United. After a long day on the beer it ended in the same result, Me asleep as soon as I walk in! We never went any further. Charlton ruin everything!
  • iamdan
    iamdan Posts: 2,421
    edited July 2016
    As soon as you said 'lovely looking girl in Bexleyheath..'
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  • iamdan
    iamdan Posts: 2,421
    sam3110 said:

    iamdan said:

    Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.

    I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair...
    She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'


    Married her 4 years later.

    So a girl was willing to whip out her minge mohican in a wimpy at a moment's notice, and you decided to marry that girl?

    Fair play
    I think that every day pal.

  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
    iamdan said:

    Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.

    I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair...
    She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'


    Married her 4 years later.

    I thought you were going to say she had a bender in a bun.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,021
    Essex_Al said:

    Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.

    On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!

    That was probably because you went 'dutch'.....
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,021
    iamdan said:

    Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.

    I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair...
    She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'


    Married her 4 years later.

    Has she got a sister?
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    ElfsborgAddick said:

    Essex_Al said:

    Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.

    On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!

    That was probably because you went 'dutch'.....
    No she was English!
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,021
    Essex_Al said:

    ElfsborgAddick said:

    Essex_Al said:

    Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.

    On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!

    That was probably because you went 'dutch'.....
    No she was English!
    Ah jesus, so poor by your standards.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,021
    fattmatt said:

    I met a girl in a club in Plymouth (so not really a proper first date!) When I was 18. Went back to her's and got down to business. She was panting loudly and gasping and I was thinking "yeah. She's loving this!"
    Suddenly she escaped from under me and took a big drag on an asthma inhaler that was in the bedside table. She'd almost died from an asthma attack.
    Afterwards she said "Do you mind if we stop?".
    I don't think I could have carried on anyway.

    I reckon if you meet 'nick nick' down at The Valley tell him this story and he'd make a blinding joke with it.
  • Bostonaddick
    Bostonaddick Posts: 812
    Met a girl at a pub in New York City. Had one drink and the next thing I remember I am waking up by myself at the bus station in Hartford Connecticut with a sore arm. I had apparently got a tattoo which said "oh my". I don't remember a minute of the night after the first drink. Cost me a pretty penny to get tattoo "removed" a few years later.
  • dread_pirate_addick
    dread_pirate_addick Posts: 70
    Went on a date, was nice. Seemed normal. Few drinks, went back to hers. She told me that she liked to be strangled when doing it!

    Some things I'd do, but shit, wouldn't do that. So made an excuse that I had to go. She was BLOCKED

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