Weirdest things that have happened to you on a date
Comments
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Don't blame you mate, I wouldn't of wanted to talk to the misleading fat cow either!Davo55 said:
Similar. Many moons ago my job entailed regularly calling various people around the country. I always gave the girls a bit of chat and one, based in Southampton, sounded absolutely lovely. Bright, sparky, funny - and interested. One day she said she would be in London the following week and asked if I fancied meeting up one evening. We arranged that we would meet near Moorgate, by the escalators down from the Barbican high walk. Go for a drink and then take it from there. On the appointed evening I set off, went via the high walk, and travelled expectantly down the escalator to meet my date. Then I spotted the complete obese munter awaiting me - got off the down escalator and went straight back up the up escalator and high tailed it out of there. Nothing was ever said afterwards, but the calls were far more frosty and briefer from then on.The Red Robin said:
Did something similar myself once about ten years ago. Met a girl in Zens in Dartford when I was absolutely trashed and swapped numbers. Got texting and agreed to meet for a drink a few days later. I couldn't remember what she looked like at all, but luckily she recognised me. She was a munter. I'd made a real error. She had zero personality as well. Said I was going to the toilet and did a runner back to my car. Drove past her on the way home and she saw me - she was not happy! Never heard from her again weirdly.thai malaysia addick said:Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
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Shame on you.1
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Before I met my wife I'd trawled the ocean of Internet dating and had some wonderful experiences but also some horrors
Some of those on here are tame by comparison but some I'm reading and nodding my head empathatically or shaking it in horror. I love threads like this3 -
Some guy threw away a half eaten Subway I was saving for breakfast so I punched him. Not only that, but he thought I was Scottish, fat and a bird.SurvivaloftheFittest said:I was punched in the face by an overweight Scottish girl for throwing away a half eaten Subway, which little to my knowledge, she was saving for Breakfast.
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Carter said:
Before I met my wife I'd trawled the ocean of Internet dating and had some wonderful experiences but also some horrors
Some of those on here are tame by comparison but some I'm reading and nodding my head empathatically or shaking it in horror. I love threads like this
You can't not share some!4 -
Been waiting 5 pages for Carter to get involved, just through previous comments by AFKA about his dating experiences.0
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Did she ask you to eat the coat? If not, I'm wondering what the problem was.seth plum said:The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat!
Fuck off.
Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together.
Fuck the fuck off, fuck off.
Left her at the tube station.
Fucking fuck OFF!4 -
Re vegetarian shoes, did you know digital cameras allow you to take vegetarian photographs?seth plum said:
No I don't wear leather shoes.ShootersHillGuru said:
Do you think she was expecting you to eat the fur coat ?seth plum said:The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat!
Fuck off.
Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together.
Fuck the fuck off, fuck off.
Left her at the tube station.
Fucking fuck OFF!
Do you wear leather shoes ?
http://www.vegetarian-shoes.co.uk/
Fill your boots as it were.
Also a canvass wallets and a canvass watch strap.
Anyway this is about dates that are weird.0 -
You on a charm offensive tonight mate?0
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In the 80s I agreed to go out on a blind date with my mate and his Swedish girlfriend with her Canadian friend. When I got to the bar I looked at the girl and thought she looked familiar. Turns out it was my Canadian first cousin who was travelling around Europe and befriended this Swedish girl. Needless to say nothing happened but we had a right good laugh about it and still talk about it to this day when I see her and any of her family.15
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This is where social media is just fantastic. Nowadays you could have looked at her online and known what you were getting yourself in to, found out all kinds of information. It's so weird to me to think that back in the day you had to carrier pigeon each other pictures.Davo55 said:
Similar. Many moons ago my job entailed regularly calling various people around the country. I always gave the girls a bit of chat and one, based in Southampton, sounded absolutely lovely. Bright, sparky, funny - and interested. One day she said she would be in London the following week and asked if I fancied meeting up one evening. We arranged that we would meet near Moorgate, by the escalators down from the Barbican high walk. Go for a drink and then take it from there. On the appointed evening I set off, went via the high walk, and travelled expectantly down the escalator to meet my date. Then I spotted the complete obese munter awaiting me - got off the down escalator and went straight back up the up escalator and high tailed it out of there. Nothing was ever said afterwards, but the calls were far more frosty and briefer from then on.The Red Robin said:
Did something similar myself once about ten years ago. Met a girl in Zens in Dartford when I was absolutely trashed and swapped numbers. Got texting and agreed to meet for a drink a few days later. I couldn't remember what she looked like at all, but luckily she recognised me. She was a munter. I'd made a real error. She had zero personality as well. Said I was going to the toilet and did a runner back to my car. Drove past her on the way home and she saw me - she was not happy! Never heard from her again weirdly.thai malaysia addick said:Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
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How disappointing. I was expecting a threesome.ElfsborgAddick said:
Yep, I have arsenetatters with me for protection.ricky_otto said:
This beer at Bury....you know it's not a date don't you?ElfsborgAddick said:My date turned up!
Have just clocked your lol's ffs!4 -
Here's the song for you: to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive":The Red Robin said:
Did something similar myself once about ten years ago. Met a girl in Zens in Dartford when I was absolutely trashed and swapped numbers. Got texting and agreed to meet for a drink a few days later. I couldn't remember what she looked like at all, but luckily she recognised me. She was a munter. I'd made a real error. She had zero personality as well. Said I was going to the toilet and did a runner back to my car. Drove past her on the way home and she saw me - she was not happy! Never heard from her again weirdly.thai malaysia addick said:Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
At first I was afraid I was petrified,
By the ugly slapper that was lying by my side,
I would've drunk a little less,
I would've tried to keep my head,
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed...
I tried to go,
walk out the door,
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore,
And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace
I only hope that you're big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace...
I want to go,
I've got to leave,
Before your fat and naked body makes me bend over and heave,
I only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a slut,
Your dirty hairy pussy looks just like a septic cut,
I can't believe,
I'm lying here,
It's all cos of that fucking evil drink that we call beer,
You can Sod your beer goggles,
shit I must have been blind
To mistake that hoover dam for a sexy young behind...
Please let me go,
I'm getting scared,
There's nothing I can do to stop those breasts from being bared,
I think that I must have been mad,
God, what made me want to court her
With tits that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water,
It's time to go,
run out the door,
She's started hinting she wants sex on her dirty lino floor,
I don't think there's anything worse then the al-co-hol-lics curse,
But this time that's it, I quit,
I can't take more of this shit!!!5 -
It's all fun and games until someone spends two hours on a bizarre misogynistic song parody at 8 in the sodding morning30
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I'll put a couple up when I get home, really I need a PC and keyboard to do justice. Golfaddick has some pearlers as does ketman2
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Before he was married he'd have been all over this like a cheap suit
However since the day of wedlock she has his sign on and Carter can't risk posting
However gumbos goat is typing furiously7 -
.Arsenetatters said:
How disappointing. I was expecting a threesome.ElfsborgAddick said:
Yep, I have arsenetatters with me for protection.ricky_otto said:
This beer at Bury....you know it's not a date don't you?ElfsborgAddick said:My date turned up!
Have just clocked your lol's ffs!
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I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.0
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Was it with Derek Bird and Dickie Bird?i_b_b_o_r_g said:I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.
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And it's a no from me.ricky_otto said:
.Arsenetatters said:
How disappointing. I was expecting a threesome.ElfsborgAddick said:
Yep, I have arsenetatters with me for protection.ricky_otto said:
This beer at Bury....you know it's not a date don't you?ElfsborgAddick said:My date turned up!
Have just clocked your lol's ffs!0 - Sponsored links:
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The only reasonable explanation is that you didn't have enough money on youi_b_b_o_r_g said:I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.
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Dickie would have been alright for sticking his finger up.ricky_otto said:
Was it with Derek Bird and Dickie Bird?i_b_b_o_r_g said:I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.
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i_b_b_o_r_g said:
I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.
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i_b_b_o_r_g said:
I got offered a 3some once (me and 2 birds), but turned it down.
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Look what you have started arsenetatters.2
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Was seeing some bird from the Blue down Bermondsey, she was a proper stunner. Anyway, I picked her up on way home from work one Friday night coz she was staying at mine all weekend. She gets in the motor and asks if we can stop off at The Princess up Blackheath coz her lezza mate is up there with her work operatives having a Christmas drink. When we walk in, 2 of her work mates were Charlton who I recognised at the time and although I never knew em, I spent an hour talking to em while my bird was talking to her 'mate' (ring any bells anyone?). Anyway after about an hour or so, my bird come up to me with her chum, who by now was a bit squiffy, and said that her mate wants to come back with us for a 3some, just like that. I shit me pants and said no. A few months later we decided to call it a day and my request for that 3some was unfortunately turned down.... ffs-2
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My girlfriend and me had always had great sex, but it was getting a bit run of the mill when one day I noticed that this other girl with great tits who always seemed to travel on the same train as me was fast asleep as we approached our station. Taking my courage in my hands I shook her shoulder and she looked up at me and groaned. I gulped and pointed out she was about to miss her stop! As we walked away from the station she blushed and told me that she had been dreaming as I woke her up, and that it had been pretty hot stuff! And that was why she groaned! Well, one thing led to another, and pretty soon....cont. pg 9812
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Sorry @i_b_b_o_r_g that's a deserved flagging.16 -
Eat the fur coat was not meant as a euphemism. Honest.ShootersHillGuru said:
Do you think she was expecting you to eat the fur coat ?seth plum said:The girl knew I was a vegetarian, had told her. So she turns up to our date wearing a fur coat!
Fuck off.
Not fake fur, but a load of animal skins all sewn together.
Fuck the fuck off, fuck off.
Left her at the tube station.
Fucking fuck OFF!
Do you wear leather shoes ?
2
