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Funny things that kids say!
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My just turned three granddaughter called me simply adorable. She’s right of course.1
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When @LiveByTheSword was a little younger his grandad was driving him with him in his child seat. Grandad got cut up by a Post Office van.
Grandad remonstrated whilst continuing to drive. "Pratt!" He murmours.
"That's right Grandad, Postman Pat" replies @LiveByTheSword9 -
After questioning my daughter about what she learned at school after her first Christmas story, I was informed about Mary and the "immaculate contraption".
She also once told me after a Geography lesson, that she had learned about all the "flags of damnation".4 -
In the swimming pool on holiday this summer my four year old shouted out ' look Dad, how did that fat woman fit in the rubber ring'13
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This was my mate Francesca's facebook update the other day (Ben is her son, not her husband) :
Ben was asking me about Pi today. I was trying to explain that it was a number slightly more than 3 and that the .14... equated to a fraction a bit more than a tenth.
Ben: What's a tenth?
Me: Well it's a fraction, you know, what you get when you get something into pieces.
Like if you cut a slice of bread into two, what have you got?
Ben: Halves.
Me: How about three pieces?
Ben: Thirds.
Me: Four?
Ben: Quarters!
Me: Great! So if you cut the bread into ten pieces what have you got?
Ben: Soldiers?
Can't fault his logic!11 -
I may have posted this before but when my daughter was about 5, she suddenly asked me (in the swimming pool of all places) "Daddy can ladies marry other ladies?" Yes, I replied. "Can men marry other men." Yes, they can. "Well why didn't you marry one of your friends then?"3
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From my friend Kevin's facebook page (Kevin is the husband of Francesca, Leah their daughter):
Leah to postman: "Hello , sleep-over man!"
Good job their relationship is strong.
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My daughter was on a stall at her school summer fair yesterday and as I went over, I took my cap off. Her friend turned round and said to her "I didn't know your dad was bald". My daughter replied "Yes, he's bald" Then leant in to her ear and added "He's deaf too"6
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May have already posted this...My daughter once asked if Boris Johnson was Ed Sheerans Dad!4
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My son was about 5 when I front of me and my pals said I want to grow up big and strong like my mum!
Still haven’t lived it down8 - Sponsored links:
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When Little Miss Idle was about two (I really can't remember) I was driving with her in the baby seat in the back. I stopped at a T junction and she immediately piped up 'Get a move on, you twat', a phrase her mother uses frequently when on the road.
No sort of example to set to an impressionable child!
(Shortly afterwards I taught her the wings of a sparrow song)5 -
When my youngest son was 5, he came home from school saying he was going to be Joe Fish in the nativity play. Took us a while to work out he meant Joseph!3
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My 3 year old nephew was talking to his nursery teacher in front of my sister in law:
“I’ve got bones you know”
“That’s right Elliott you do, well done!”
“... and balls”
No idea why he felt the need to tell her but there you go. Men3 -
My daughter thinks the game you play on their feet is called 'This little piggy went to Margate'.8
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My son (4) was pulled up at school last week for telling an older boy to fuck off, his defence to his teacher was “my daddy says it”
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My brother when he was 6 years old came home from school and announced that they had a new boy in class named Raisin Bayleaf, took a while before we found out he was actually called Fraser Baillie!
Same brother, who was born in the 60s, said to my mum when he saw his first afro: did you see that woman’s fluffly hair?
Again my brother at the top of his voice when seeing a woman wearing a coat with a cow-skin pattern on it: Mummy, Mummy, did you see that big cow.0 -
I fear that the C bomb wont be far away mate.cafcdave123 said:My son (4) was pulled up at school last week for telling an older boy to fuck off, his defence to his teacher was “my daddy says it”
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When kids say 'if Marvin Sordell scores a hat trick I'll get him tattooed on my arse', is so cute, cheeky scamp.13
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My 4yo boy got a new set of socks. 7 pairs each with a day of the week written on them. Just passed him his socks to wear tomorrow and he threw them on the floor and said "daddy, tomorrow's not Wednesday, it's bin day!! "2
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Our daughter told my wife that she'd learnt a swear word at school last week. When my wife asked her what it was, she told her "fuck"
She asked if it was a bad swear word and got upset when my wife told her it was.
She told my wife "mummy, I'm really worried I'll say it out loud as I keep thinking fuck this and fuck that"
12 - Sponsored links:
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I asked my five year old son if he wanted a new Charlton shirt, imagine my surprise when he replied,
"Daddy,, I would like one but I am concerned that if I were to wear a replica shirt adorned with the current sponsor's logo it may have a deleterious effect on me in later life and that I'll grow up to be under socialised with a serious gambling addiction brought about by overwhelming peer pressure at far too young an age."
Kids eh?
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Mine just said "Fuck that"JWADDICK said:I asked my five year old son if he wanted a new Charlton shirt, imagine my surprise when he replied,
"Daddy,, I would like one but I am concerned that if I were to wear a replica shirt adorned with the current sponsor's logo it may have a deleterious effect on me in later life and that I'll grow up to be under socialised with a serious gambling addiction brought about by overwhelming peer pressure at far too young an age."
Kids eh?6 -
In the car this weekend.
Wife was talking about childhood pets and mentioned a cat called Misty.
Our 6 year son in the back just said to no one in particular: ‘Misty is a stripper name ‘ and carried on looking out of his window.
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My 3 year old son says “grasspopper” rather than “grasshopper”.0
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Just got home from a run... A couple of roads before I reached home I ran past a Mum with her two daughters out trick n treating (cant have been more than 3-4)
Mum kindly moved her kids out the way for me and as I ran off I heard one of the girls say: "Wow he's got long legs Mummy"
Just a small thing that made me smile (I'm 6.4ft) and gave me a little bit of motivation when I was struggling a bit
Really hope they come down our road as my Wife is one of those who makes a huge effort come Halloween and will get some sweets from her if so
Was unfortunately a bit out of breath else I'd have mentioned it to the Mum0 -
My daughter Madison insisted on wearing her full Charlton kit to daycare today #representingDownUnder
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One of my 10yr olds was a bit lively Monday evening. I said to him ok, settle down now. “Settle down? But dad I haven’t even settled up!’Made me chuckle4
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My almost 4y/o daughter sang I'm a little teapot earlier.
Her version:I'm a little teapot,
Short and sprout,
Here is my handle
Here is my sprout
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me over and pour me out!
I'm a very special teapot,
Yes, it's true,
Here's an example of what I can do,
I can turn my handle into a sprout,
Tip me over and pour me out!2 -
We never swear in front of our daughter but I dropped something the other day and said shit. My daughter said to me “if you’re going to swear, please can you use a swear word I’ve never heard so I can learn it”23
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Did you tell her to f£$% off?DaveMehmet said:We never swear in front of our daughter but I dropped something the other day and said shit. My daughter said to me “if you’re going to swear, please can you use a swear word I’ve never heard so I can learn it”7
