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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?
Comments
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Tesco’s are looking for a new design team.
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A litre in one go is bloody impressive! 😉AddicksAddict said:Tesco’s are looking for a new design team.2 -
Trump is perplexed that RMS Titanic sank even though it had a ballroom.3
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I don’t actually get this oneAddicksAddict said:Trump is perplexed that RMS Titanic sank even though it had a ballroom.2 -
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He’s justifying his $400m ballroom on the grounds it will keep him safe.MrOneLung said:
I don’t actually get this oneAddicksAddict said:Trump is perplexed that RMS Titanic sank even though it had a ballroom.0 -
Not quite sure what’s happened to the picture I posted about the four Jews.0
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When I was a child, my mother tried to explain to me how an umbrella works. It just went straight over my head.3
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I suspect someone objected to the admins.R0TW said:Not quite sure what’s happened to the picture I posted about the four Jews.1 -
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Interviewer: So, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
Me: I have a decent sense of humour, but my general knowledge is not so good.
Interviewer: Go on then, tell us a joke.
Me: Knock Knock.
Interviewer: Who’s there?
Me: First British Prime Minister.
Interviewer: First British Prime Minister who?
Me: Like I said, my general knowledge isn’t good.5 -
What gets longer if pulled ? Fits snuggly between breasts ? Fits neatly into a hole ? And works very well when jerked ?
A seat~belt.6 -
An oldie..
The Old Bill stopped me when driving the other day. He asked where I'd been, I said "Vauxhall". He said where you going, I said "Southall". He asked what you got in the boot, I said "nothing".11 -
So Jewish ones are off limits for some unknown reason.
What about Irish?
Paddy takes his fish to the vets as he thinks he has epilepsy.
"He looks calm and fine to me". Says the vet.
"I've not taken him out the bowl yet!" Paddy replied.
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Bloke goes in a fishmongers with a salmon under his arm and asks' do you make fishcakes?'
'Yes' replies the fishmonger.
'Can you make him one it's his birthday'.14 -
The usual thing about ‘jokes’ based on tired old negative stereotypes is they’re not funny.
Like the sentence I have just typed.1 -
How do you tell the sex of an ant?
Drop it in water.
If it sinks, girl ant
If it floats.....12 -
🤦♂️…🤣🤣cafcfan said:How do you tell the sex of an ant?
Drop it in water.
If it sinks, girl ant
If it floats.....2 -
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Just had a game of scrabble with my missus. it’s the only time I can actually get a word in
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Faux pas.
People who tell Dad jokes but don't have any children.3 -
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Bloke just rang me mobile and said, “I’m the dandy highway man who you’re too scared to mention. I spend my cash on looking flash & grabbing your attention.”
I tried to tell him he had the wrong number but he was adamant
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Our whole area was plagued by a burgler by the name of Karl Brown. He evaded capture for many months despite leaving a deliberate calling card at each site in the form of a house brick placed in the victim's washing machine. He was recently caught and then jailed a couple of weeks ago. Now a lot of people are happier as their washing machines last longer with Karl gone.
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What's the smelliest thing in the world?
An anchovie's vagina............
Sorry - this should be on the rumours thread!!!!0 -
I bet you are great at a party0
