Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

1…3637394142

Comments

  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,839
    Danepak said:
    Apparently, if Switzerland wins the World Cup, there will be free cheese for everyone.
    If France wins, free wine!
    If Germany wins, free schnitzels.

    Vamos Colombia!
    Free bananas??
  • Solidgone
    Solidgone Posts: 10,516
    iaitch said:
    Danepak said:
    Apparently, if Switzerland wins the World Cup, there will be free cheese for everyone.
    If France wins, free wine!
    If Germany wins, free schnitzels.

    Vamos Colombia!
    Free bananas??
    I think it’s mangostinos. 
  • soapboxsam
    soapboxsam Posts: 24,455
    Danepak said:
    Apparently, if Switzerland wins the World Cup, there will be free cheese for everyone.
    If France wins, free wine!
    If Germany wins, free schnitzels.

    Vamos Colombia!

    That prize is not to be sniffed at !
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,839
    Solidgone said:
    iaitch said:
    Danepak said:
    Apparently, if Switzerland wins the World Cup, there will be free cheese for everyone.
    If France wins, free wine!
    If Germany wins, free schnitzels.

    Vamos Colombia!
    Free bananas??
    I think it’s mangostinos. 
    Isn't he a centre half for PSG?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822
    If you're a foot fetishist and you cheat on your partner, could it be said that you got off on the wrong foot?
  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880
    My wife thinks MI5 are spying on us from the tree in the garden.
    I said 'relax, it's just a plant'.
  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880
    James Bond gets called into M's office.

    M: I have a job for you, but you have to be in disguise as an English businessman called John Smith, with blond hair.
    BOND: But I have dark hair, do you expect me to wear a wig or something?
    M: No Mister Bond, I expect you to dye.
  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880
    The internet is so full of fake people, making up fake stories, with fake names, that no one gives the real heroes any credit.
    Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano.
  • R0TW
    R0TW Posts: 2,022
    My wife was up in court yesterday on a shoplifting charge.
    The Judge said to her " You are a prolific theif and need to be tought a lession, you was caught with a tin of pineapple rings, is that right?
    "Yes" replied my wife.
    "How many rings were in said tin?" Asked the Judge.
    "6" was her reply.
    "Ok I will sentence you to 6 months to prison, and I hope you will learn from this." said the Judge.
    I shouted "That's bollocks, she stole a tin of peas as well."
  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 2,099
    During the heatwave, TfL have announced that the cable car is suspended. No news yet on whether the suspended cable cars are moving or not.

  • Sponsored links:



  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822
    A conman, a paedophile, and a convicted felon walked into a bar.

    The bartender says “Here by yourself, Mr President?”.
  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 2,099
    AddicksAddict said:

    It's a terrorist attack by Algae Qaeda.
  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 1,586
    .
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822
    gringo said:
    .
    It’s the way you tell ‘em.
  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 1,586
    edited June 26
    AddicksAddict said:
    gringo said:
    .
    It’s the way you tell ‘em.
    well I was going to post something incredibly erudite and witty but then the dog ate my Whizzer and Chips book of jokes.


  • EugenesAxe
    EugenesAxe Posts: 5,512
    Ever noticed the web address for Department of Homeland Security?



  • EugenesAxe
    EugenesAxe Posts: 5,512
    edited June 28
    .
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 16,822
    edited June 30

    I’m intrigued by grapeless grapes. Is there anything there?

  • Sponsored links:



  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 1,586
    AddicksAddict said:

    I’m intrigued by grapeless grapes. Is there anything there?
    seeds
  • EugenesAxe
    EugenesAxe Posts: 5,512
    AddicksAddict said:

    I’m intrigued by grapeless grapes. Is there anything there?
    sorry is this a seance? is Elsie Partridge doing it?
  • lolwray
    lolwray Posts: 5,084
    EugenesAxe said:
    AddicksAddict said:

    I’m intrigued by grapeless grapes. Is there anything there?
    sorry is this a seance? is Elsie Partridge doing it?
    It's going to be Marvin Gaye or Paul Young 
  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880
    I’ve just been fired by Madam Tussaud’s for giving the model of Jim Morrison a suntan.
    They told me to never darken their doors again.
  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 1,586
    jose said:
    I’ve just been fired by Madam Tussaud’s for giving the model of Jim Morrison a suntan.
    They told me to never darken their doors again.
    so This is the End then?
  • thenewbie
    thenewbie Posts: 11,959

  • R0TW
    R0TW Posts: 2,022

  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880
    edited July 7
    .
  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880

  • jose
    jose Posts: 1,880

Categories