Highest Average Goal Quality

lordromford · August 25

Every time I rewatch that 4-2 win at Highbury it fills me with both joy at the spectacle of that game and anger at the way we, as a club, are brushed over like an inconvenience.

It reminds me of the utterly disrespectful attitude of that fucking commentator, whoever he is, who doesn’t even try to disguise his disdain for our club or his disappointment at the result. He doesn’t even express any sort of appreciation for Claus Jensen’s goal, leaving the co-commentator to note the brilliance of it. This also reminds me of how criminal it is that Jensen’s goal isn’t given more recognition by the wider football community.

So thanks @Leuth for simultaneously cheering me up and pissing me off! 😎😡🤪

Leuth · August 25

MrOneLung said:

I am going Derek Hales

Prove me wrong @Leuth

https://youtu.be/Xr4l6NjBwYI?is=N1hlDRfl8HO2pvoc

Apparently this is every goal he scored, caught on video.

I'd give em, on the Bangerometer,

9/10 (scissor kick innit)
3/10 (almost misses an open goal)
4/10 (unmarked close range header)
9/10 (great move and volley)
2/10 (unmarked one-yard tap-in)
5/10 (unmarked two-yard tap-in but aesthetically quite pleasing)
10/10 (wow, what a chip)
6/10 (decent header, but unmarked again how bad were defenders back then?)
3/10 (tap-in)
10/10 (bang)
8/10 (yeah very good)
5/10 (cool penalty)
2/10 (ridiculous defending, headed tap-in)
3/10 (awful defending, slide tackle tap-in)
7/10 (decent turn and finish)
4/10 (basically a tap-in)
5/10 (decent finish on the rebound)
7/10 (good finish)
8/10 (great move, fine finish)
5/10 (cool penalty)
6/10 (terrible defending, puts it in the top corner at least)
7/10 (terrible defending, puts it in the top...middle at least. With a chip)
3/10 (abysmal defending, anticipates it and takes it around the keeper at least but this is the Bangerometer don't forget, not the Anticipatinghowlerometer)
2/10 (genuinely horrible goal)
3/10 (unmarked close range header)
4/10 (decent and of course unmarked header which the keeper gets a big hand to)
1/10 (I can't even begin to process this one. It's at 10:50 in the video and might be the worst goal we've ever scored)
5/10 (decent close-range volley)
5/10 (cool penalty)
8/10 (actually really good header)
3/10 (cool retaken penalty that he originally missed)
5/10 (cool penalty)
7/10 (nice finish)
6/10 (nice turn and finish)
5/10 (cool penalty)

That's 185/350, which works out at 5.3/10. Sorry to pour cold water on your sainted nostalgia of when men were men and defenders basically didn't bother, but Hales, great goalscorer that he may have been, can hardly on this evidence claim to have been, on average, a scorer of great goals

CAFCsayer · August 25

El karkouri surely... There was a reason everyone used to shout telling him to shoot any time he got the ball within 40 yards

Leuth · August 25

1.

https://youtu.be/0v8vRCxk840?is=hNcs-yPpq-LzqYbL

Header from a corner straight at Friedel, goes through his legs. 3/10

2.

https://youtu.be/Hl6KhNRIFrw?is=yQMuZMuud6el7QJQ

Header from a free kick straight at Van der Sar, palms it in. 3/10

3.

https://youtu.be/hHeZ1af7_6I?is=VIO2Dqip5bauroCd

Close range header, got up well. 4/10

4.

https://youtu.be/Io-dVnA69TQ?is=ra2_KM4uvndwzsJj

Iconic, 10/10, sure

5.

https://youtu.be/yjpc6kEozC4?is=6JR_J8wxsmZV69Md

Oh my god it's a 50 yard free kick!!

2/10, and that's generous

6.

https://youtu.be/CVSik_eqq_s?is=tsiEPF2DLwosnc9F

What on earth were Blackburn doing here? Anyway, 9/10 sure fine

7.

https://youtu.be/-tn_eB31iMI?is=f9j65V7vLEIb5eRi

Yeah he nails it but what exactly is big Jussi doing here? 7/10

8.

https://youtu.be/5bI3GgTKDqU?is=OyAXDez2Ns4g-vwJ

I'm gonna give him some credit for believing in a higher power and just hitting it from 40 yards, but it's important to note that it does take two deflections. 5/10

Overall, 43/80 which is 5.4/10, narrowly beating Derek Hales. I'm certain we have many centre-backs who can beat that

FishCostaFortune · August 25

I raise you Adam Chicksen

MrOneLung · August 25

Are you recently single Leuth and trying to fill your time ?

Leuth · August 25

1.

https://youtu.be/vwKLSNE8UWk?is=AjHBg4jZTKOVIyOz

Keeper a bit at fault? Maybe? Nah. He's run from his own half and absolutely murdered it in. 9/10

2.

https://youtu.be/9vBBLE2bLiQ?is=CtLt-GMkmr_FnWX4

Fantastic finish, last minute winner. 8/10

3.

https://youtu.be/SD51adHY2kQ?is=LxB4N5NA46iioEm9

Brilliant volley. 9/10

4.

https://youtu.be/-UsO9qX27xs?is=6zFsa_j08R-GTFu6

You were flying out there Kyel, but it would have been better if this one never did cross the line. 3/10

5.

https://youtu.be/5qoUciQecWw?is=Ax6g6SUGNjwkrG2s

Very nicely done but lads it's Barnet. 6/10

6.

https://youtu.be/xMNlGlceSP8?is=csBzoRwxoQbjNLr0

I knew he did one of these. 10/10

45/60 for a respectable 7.5/10. Really this is all making Claus Jensen look better and better tbh

Leuth · August 25

MrOneLung said:

Are you recently single Leuth and trying to fill your time ?

I've just been instructed to please watch some telly or something with my better half, unsurprisingly. Ricky Holmes will have to wait

Leuth · August 25

FishCostaFortune said:

I raise you Adam Chicksen

I did check his two goals. FA Cup one is lovely and probably not deflected. Other one is absolutely deflected. Not really happening here alas

Gillis · August 25

Leuth said:

MrOneLung said:

I am going Derek Hales

Prove me wrong @Leuth

https://youtu.be/Xr4l6NjBwYI?is=N1hlDRfl8HO2pvoc

Apparently this is every goal he scored, caught on video.

I'd give em, on the Bangerometer,

9/10 (scissor kick innit)
3/10 (almost misses an open goal)
4/10 (unmarked close range header)
9/10 (great move and volley)
2/10 (unmarked one-yard tap-in)
5/10 (unmarked two-yard tap-in but aesthetically quite pleasing)
10/10 (wow, what a chip)
6/10 (decent header, but unmarked again how bad were defenders back then?)
3/10 (tap-in)
10/10 (bang)
8/10 (yeah very good)
5/10 (cool penalty)
2/10 (ridiculous defending, headed tap-in)
3/10 (awful defending, slide tackle tap-in)
7/10 (decent turn and finish)
4/10 (basically a tap-in)
5/10 (decent finish on the rebound)
7/10 (good finish)
8/10 (great move, fine finish)
5/10 (cool penalty)
6/10 (terrible defending, puts it in the top corner at least)
7/10 (terrible defending, puts it in the top...middle at least. With a chip)
3/10 (abysmal defending, anticipates it and takes it around the keeper at least but this is the Bangerometer don't forget, not the Anticipatinghowlerometer)
2/10 (genuinely horrible goal)
3/10 (unmarked close range header)
4/10 (decent and of course unmarked header which the keeper gets a big hand to)
1/10 (I can't even begin to process this one. It's at 10:50 in the video and might be the worst goal we've ever scored)
5/10 (decent close-range volley)
5/10 (cool penalty)
8/10 (actually really good header)
3/10 (cool retaken penalty that he originally missed)
5/10 (cool penalty)
7/10 (nice finish)
6/10 (nice turn and finish)
5/10 (cool penalty)

That's 185/350, which works out at 5.3/10. Sorry to pour cold water on your sainted nostalgia of when men were men and defenders basically didn't bother, but Hales, great goalscorer that he may have been, can hardly on this evidence claim to have been, on average, a scorer of great goals

Jonniesta · August 25

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

sam3110 · August 25

Jonniesta said:

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

Winner, all 4 are great finishes

https://youtu.be/JVFWQPxVBqo?si=7hYyP6oYUxxO6f0t

Personally, given the "Dennis, in the last minute" being an 11/10, you then have a 10/10, a 9/10 and another 10/10 IMO

oohaahmortimer · August 26

When you see us playing scoring and all the quality in those Prem games , it reminds me of why I have a football snob mentality.
All this over excitement about playing West Ham and spurs and over tugging off after a win or just even getting a game against Tottenham pah
these matches were 2 a penny for a few years and we went there with a good chance of winning and did …
How I yearn to be a team of quality and in the top flight , greedy I know but I’m sick of being the worst of the south east London triumvirate

anyway Steve Mackenzie 7 goals for us according to wiki and he was a player , the game that stands out the 2-2 at Highbury when god himself got the other and we were in yellows yellows yellows

YannTheMann · August 26

I raise you Danny Green, I'm sure he scored some goodens for us, I remember seeing him score an absolute rocket at Derby away on a Tuesday game that I think we lost

Leuth · August 26

sam3110 said:

Jonniesta said:

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

Winner, all 4 are great finishes

https://youtu.be/JVFWQPxVBqo?si=7hYyP6oYUxxO6f0t

Personally, given the "Dennis, in the last minute" being an 11/10, you then have a 10/10, a 9/10 and another 10/10 IMO

Way too generous. First of all, only Jensen at Highbury gets to be an 11/10. Second, the goal at Selhurst is absolutely NOT a 10/10 banger, even if it's at Selhurst - it's a good finish after some terrible defending, it'd be an 8/10 but given the circumstances I'll give it 9/10. Then the next goal is a 9/10, a great low finish from outside the box after some more terrible defending. Then a 7/10 decent one on one finish and an 8/10 smashed one on one finish, to give a total of 33/40 or 8.3/10 in total. It's good but there is no absolute screamer from nowhere there, whereas Stewart has two of his three as that (I could have given the Huddersfield goal 10/10 too but want to give others a chance) and Jensen has like 10 of his 17 that cos he's a freak

Jonniesta · August 26

Leuth said:

sam3110 said:

Jonniesta said:

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

Winner, all 4 are great finishes

https://youtu.be/JVFWQPxVBqo?si=7hYyP6oYUxxO6f0t

Personally, given the "Dennis, in the last minute" being an 11/10, you then have a 10/10, a 9/10 and another 10/10 IMO

Way too generous. First of all, only Jensen at Highbury gets to be an 11/10. Second, the goal at Selhurst is absolutely NOT a 10/10 banger, even if it's at Selhurst - it's a good finish after some terrible defending, it'd be an 8/10 but given the circumstances I'll give it 9/10. Then the next goal is a 9/10, a great low finish from outside the box after some more terrible defending. Then a 7/10 decent one on one finish and an 8/10 smashed one on one finish, to give a total of 33/40 or 8.3/10 in total. It's good but there is no absolute screamer from nowhere there, whereas Stewart has two of his three as that (I could have given the Huddersfield goal 10/10 too but want to give others a chance) and Jensen has like 10 of his 17 that cos he's a freak

I think you're overly critical of the first 3 of those, they just don't look as showboating because they kept low, but if you're factoring in defending you should consider that a) the keeper should've done better with Stewart's first, and b) you've loaded the same goal twice for Stewart! It's a cracking 10/10, but still reckon that's cheating a bit...

Leuth · August 26

Jonniesta said:

Leuth said:

sam3110 said:

Jonniesta said:

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

Winner, all 4 are great finishes

https://youtu.be/JVFWQPxVBqo?si=7hYyP6oYUxxO6f0t

Personally, given the "Dennis, in the last minute" being an 11/10, you then have a 10/10, a 9/10 and another 10/10 IMO

Way too generous. First of all, only Jensen at Highbury gets to be an 11/10. Second, the goal at Selhurst is absolutely NOT a 10/10 banger, even if it's at Selhurst - it's a good finish after some terrible defending, it'd be an 8/10 but given the circumstances I'll give it 9/10. Then the next goal is a 9/10, a great low finish from outside the box after some more terrible defending. Then a 7/10 decent one on one finish and an 8/10 smashed one on one finish, to give a total of 33/40 or 8.3/10 in total. It's good but there is no absolute screamer from nowhere there, whereas Stewart has two of his three as that (I could have given the Huddersfield goal 10/10 too but want to give others a chance) and Jensen has like 10 of his 17 that cos he's a freak

I think you're overly critical of the first 3 of those, they just don't look as showboating because they kept low, but if you're factoring in defending you should consider that a) the keeper should've done better with Stewart's first, and b) you've loaded the same goal twice for Stewart! It's a cracking 10/10, but still reckon that's cheating a bit...

Really? I uploaded all 3 of Stewart's different goals, the stunner against Huddersfield that swerved in off the bar, the outrageous volley against Leeds and the solo run and bottom corner finish against Yeovil...

lordromford · August 26

Leuth said:

Jonniesta said:

Leuth said:

sam3110 said:

Jonniesta said:

Serious challenger must be Dennis Rommedahl. Can't have got many and 3 or 4 were absolute screamers, including an 11/10 at Selhurst.

Winner, all 4 are great finishes

https://youtu.be/JVFWQPxVBqo?si=7hYyP6oYUxxO6f0t

Personally, given the "Dennis, in the last minute" being an 11/10, you then have a 10/10, a 9/10 and another 10/10 IMO

Way too generous. First of all, only Jensen at Highbury gets to be an 11/10. Second, the goal at Selhurst is absolutely NOT a 10/10 banger, even if it's at Selhurst - it's a good finish after some terrible defending, it'd be an 8/10 but given the circumstances I'll give it 9/10. Then the next goal is a 9/10, a great low finish from outside the box after some more terrible defending. Then a 7/10 decent one on one finish and an 8/10 smashed one on one finish, to give a total of 33/40 or 8.3/10 in total. It's good but there is no absolute screamer from nowhere there, whereas Stewart has two of his three as that (I could have given the Huddersfield goal 10/10 too but want to give others a chance) and Jensen has like 10 of his 17 that cos he's a freak

I think you're overly critical of the first 3 of those, they just don't look as showboating because they kept low, but if you're factoring in defending you should consider that a) the keeper should've done better with Stewart's first, and b) you've loaded the same goal twice for Stewart! It's a cracking 10/10, but still reckon that's cheating a bit...

Really? I uploaded all 3 of Stewart's different goals, the stunner against Huddersfield that swerved in off the bar, the outrageous volley against Leeds and the solo run and bottom corner finish against Yeovil...

nope

Leuth · August 26

Oh shit wait I posted the Leeds one twice. Copy and paste error. Here's the Yeovil goal, which I HARSHLY gave 8/10 to (again, to give everyone a chance, I gave Rommedahl 9/10 for the same goal without a long run beforehand)

https://youtu.be/wU3CoctOhrk?is=SOvzuJ8NIf8J4QsZ

Leuth · August 26

"a virtuoso solo performance" says the commentator. You know I'm upping that to a 9/10 as well, taking us to 9.3/10 overall. Fuck everyone who isn't Cameron Stewart

Jonniesta · August 26

Yeah, that's clearly a 9/10, so fair play

Leuth · August 26

I like how even before his goal he hits a screamer that the keeper has to pull off a worldie to save. Truly he was a man on a mission. Then his career simply ended through injury.

I still think there has to be someone else who scored 2 or 3 and they were all amazing. Don't be sending trash like Danny Haynes again though. I want pure concentrated banger, no tap-ins

Leuth · August 26

Let's establish a little table, as well

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6
3. George Tucudean 8.5
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3
5. Kyel Reid 7.5

If you want to quibble Tucudean, I've given his goal against Derby a very restrained 7/10 on the Bangerometer - what a turn a finish this is

https://youtu.be/F8qtgJipt2o?is=TbtliON4lRDYIaTo

...but I have taken matters into my own hands and given his goal against Bolton the full 10/10. I know this might seem generous, but every touch involved in this goal is basically peak Bergkamp, it's honestly one of my favourite goals I've ever seen live

https://youtu.be/IrWyePif34A?is=Yexnql-E8x-B84S8

If you, like most people, would downgrade this to a 9, he's still on 8/10 overall, which is pretty good imo

Anyway I'm sure we can add to this leaderboard, but nobody under 7.5 please. Kyel Reid is the minimum acceptable standard

Leuth · August 26

If someone would like to investigate our LOWEST AGQ (min. 2 goals) as well, I'd be game. Someone who only scored scuffs and flukes. It's hit him and gone in.

Leuth · August 26

Ah but whose music is this?

https://youtu.be/1H5YiIQsPJw?is=3FjFwfejjwn_F8J5

Am undeniable 10/10 screamer and an Olimpico (automatic 9/10) in your first scoring game?

A new contender has emerged.

It's time.

wmcf123 · August 26

Leuth said:

If someone would like to investigate our LOWEST AGQ (min. 2 goals) as well, I'd be game. Someone who only scored scuffs and flukes. It's hit him and gone in.

One of Ahadme’s goals at Southend tarnished that .

Leuth · August 26

3.

https://youtu.be/qWJ4J1I0gEE?is=E1pWauNuQSDfVqVP

Awful defending. Lovely touch and finish. 7/10

4.

https://youtu.be/HW2RxHssazw?is=iP18EVPrUURi_dWm

Oh no. I should probably just stop here. This is a full 2/10. Oh no. Maybe it's over for Ricky already. Let's do a few more just in case. I believe in you Ricky

5.

https://youtu.be/ZJcYcfHeVnM?is=qczng0Ts1OuOky4i

We're so back. 9/10. We're doing this.

6. 7. 8.

https://youtu.be/pMXB_cuCrm8?is=mjIA0hN6iwJKIu0Q

Here it is. The rare and beautiful Yaya Sanogo award for a hat-trick in a defeat. But how are the goals? Well, they're in the running for best hat-trick by a Charlton player. 10/10, 9/10 and 6/10. Yes Ricky. Shame about all your teammates

9.

https://youtu.be/BendUjTUgQQ?is=gUGEHVwk8NT7bQY0

Why was I giving Claus 10/10 for his free kicks and Ricky is only getting 9/10? Claus did hit them with a bit more power. However, this is all horribly unfair so I'm going to start giving Ricky a full 10/10 for these.

10.

https://youtu.be/kDAHcO24pfQ?is=oLMu1fUwD4r2t9k2

Good run, nice hit, megs the keeper, 6/10

11.

https://youtu.be/qQCYB33uygU?is=9R1kCSEG6VZiEH4p

Having said that, this one doesn't go in the top corner so it's only 9/10. Although this means I'm going to upgrade his Shrewsbury one to a 10. Not his Wimbledon one, that was a bit too floaty for that. But yeah, the Wimbledon one is a now a 10. Official

12.

https://youtu.be/m_3kCcAWccw?is=isTfA4PFzp3wI1hl

Do not give this man a dead ball opportunity against you, and if you do, do not deflect it in and thus ruin his Bangerometer mark. 6/10

13.

https://youtu.be/ByGeJtIQ6zQ?is=Xfyhx7eVE7-w1bwA

Good move, lovely finish. 7/10

14.

https://youtu.be/_qvznztQ3Mw?is=y6TrcuFvXOHFA3kh

Ditto. 7/10

15.

https://youtu.be/7CjH0hQuOek?is=O2brb0uKYxg5pu3g

Now that, is the stuff. 10/10 yes Ricky yesss

16.

https://youtu.be/qUiL2LWgol8?is=f-yv8YGZY4aW8T2p

Be still my beating heart. 9/10

17.

https://youtu.be/-TlXtiVG27M?is=VmfEDkhp6_d5btom

RICKY STOP IT 10/10

18.

https://youtu.be/XAKIuuTIxbI?is=TvYKbhL-fJngqAhO

Ricky. Fucking stop it. 10/10

19.

https://youtu.be/QfCdv5J0qlY?is=De3kBGV56ZFKVw4L

Top corner penalty, automatic 6/10. Now go and sign for Sheff Utd and destroy your career or something

What a player, though. I've calculated this as 153/190, which is an overall mark of 8.1, easily enough to reach the leaderboard, which now reads

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6
3. George Tucudean 8.5
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Kyel Reid 7.5

Leuth · August 26

Hamer Bouazza. A name synonymous with a season of shame. But a taste for a banger...

https://youtu.be/mjxpa3vgWAQ?is=FsJoEr1-OC3E95bm

9/10

https://youtu.be/BG8G9AwQ40Q?is=mpIGNl-IMsrAEOks

7/10

https://youtu.be/mStQUoP1mTU?is=xbvU0Bxpjp8DCR8R

5/10

https://youtu.be/egXxLKoDip0?is=WXJ3DQgGoVDTra3F

10/10

31/40, 7.8/10

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6
3. George Tucudean 8.5
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5

Leuth · August 26

Let the record state I just abandoned a Tony Watt deep dive. He has a couple of stunning goals, much like Haynes, but also much like Haynes he has a bunch of low-tier trash in there. Still, he did the Di Canio volley against Leeds, so that's nice

FishCostaFortune · August 26

Simon Church as lowest?

Highest Average Goal Quality

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