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Mock the Week game

Henry Irving
Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
edited March 2010 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
As on the show there's a category and you have to give a witty answer.

Keep it clean-ish

Bad things to say at your first day at work
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Comments

  • MCS
    MCS Posts: 8,404
    Morning boss, just going for a pre 'new job' pony, me guts are going right over!! Where are the traps???
  • sadiejane1981
    sadiejane1981 Posts: 9,012
    ok boss lets cut to the chase, who do I have to sleep with for more money?
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,593
    I have to leave early, as my ASBO doesn't allow me out in the dark.
  • sadiejane1981
    sadiejane1981 Posts: 9,012
    who am I?
  • Red5
    Red5 Posts: 837
    right then lads let me introduce myself... the name's dowie... ian dowie
  • cafcdan18
    cafcdan18 Posts: 3,664
    How long is my lunch hour?
  • Floyd Montana
    Floyd Montana Posts: 3,730
    edited March 2010
    Where do you want me to attach my tug, boss?
    I:ve been told to turn Britain around
  • sadiejane1981
    sadiejane1981 Posts: 9,012
    what's the combination for the safe?
  • RedZed333
    RedZed333 Posts: 3,103
    What's the boss like...? I've heard he's a right twatt...
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    'Hi, nice to meet you. I know its a cheek but i have to leave at 2pm today as i'm playing a cup game against Southend United's youth team at Roots Hall tonight'

    Which is what i said in March 1993
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  • RedZed333
    RedZed333 Posts: 3,103
    Are we allowed to surf porn during our lunch breaks...?
  • sadiejane1981
    sadiejane1981 Posts: 9,012
    so...what's their to do for fun around this dive?
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
    edited March 2010
    [cite]Posted By: Mister Windscreen[/cite]I'm Adolph, the new guy...and before you ask...yes I am CORGI registered!

    Just got that one. My fault for starting the thread so I shouldn't really complain but : - (
  • StubleyAddick
    StubleyAddick Posts: 2,552
    Hi Im Nigel...and I support Crystal Palace
  • Alex Wright
    Alex Wright Posts: 8,214
    ".....move out of the way, I'm an England international......"
  • Alex Wright
    Alex Wright Posts: 8,214
    "Hello lads, I'm really pleased to have taken over as your new manager.

    Meet my first signing, John Terry"
  • BDL
    BDL Posts: 5,999
    Good Morning to you sir, I'm Derek. I've just travelled into work on a number 38 Bus, did you know that they'd taken away the bendy buses and replaced them with Scania 451's? I was reallllllly excited, I sat on the top deck at the front and pretended I was the Driver. Ding ding brooooooooooom brooooooooooom
  • Alex Wright
    Alex Wright Posts: 8,214
    so, you want me to be here at WHAT time every moring? You're 'avin a laugh mate. I don't get out of bed before 09:30 for anyone.
  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,330
    Look, it's 4 o'clock now. And, as I always say, there's no point being late BOTH ends of the day. See ya tomorrow.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    "Morning team, its an honour to be here and i look forward to working with every one of you. Two tasks to get you started with; 1. I'm very keen on contingency planning, so if you could all jot down your wives mobile numbers that would be great, and 2. Just for a bit of fun, and to show i'm hopefully going to be a fun boss, i naturally wasn't here for the Christmas Party so i'd like everyone to do a list of as many of their colleagues partners names as they can, and then rank them in order of filthiness potential. I stress, this is just a bit of fun'
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  • Valley_floyd_red
    Valley_floyd_red Posts: 3,194
    This is the colonic irrigation clinic, Right?
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,593
    Which do I use? the mens or ladies toilets until I have my op.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    "ha, good one, i can see you're the comedian round here. Now joking aside, who really is the boss"
  • Genesis
    Genesis Posts: 57
    Who's that nice bit of skirt over there?.............. Oh sorry, I didn't realise it was your daughter.
  • Marco
    Marco Posts: 397
    Do I have to ask EVERYONE if they want fries?
  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,330
    Hello. My name's Nathan.
  • BDL
    BDL Posts: 5,999
    Oh I haven't worked since the incident at my last office. So how well insured do you have this place?
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
    "Can we skip the induction? I need to get on Charlton Life and see who today's Would Ya is"
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
    OK, someone think of a new category
  • BDL
    BDL Posts: 5,999
    edited March 2010
    Things you wouldn't expect to hear at a Football Match....................(After all it is a bloody Football forum)

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