My local pet shop had a cat in the widow with a sign ‘cat from the Netherlands for sale.’ I wasn’t sure it was actually from there so I went in and asked the shopkeeper: “How Dutch is that moggie in the window?”
Man walks into a pub with a new exotic pet. Everyone stares at them, and the pet keeps blurting out "he wants to cheat on his wife but can't find anyone to cheat with! He always worries that he's never good enough! You're overcharging but he comes here anyway because he's lonely!"
Man sits down, sighs, and points to his new pet. "It's aardvark, but it's honest."
So I said my friend. 'People keep taking the Mickey out of me because I keep thinking I'm a cricket ball. 'My friend said 'Howzat?' I said, 'don't you start
Comments
Me: It's called a garage
”Give me liberty or give me death“.
He lost his huile d’olive
Tenants.
It made Joe lean. Joe lean. Joe lean. Joe lean.
because one egg is un oeuf
Tom (holding cup): Make my tea disappear.
Magician: Shazammm!
om: Nothing happened.
Man sits down, sighs, and points to his new pet. "It's aardvark, but it's honest."
I'm feeling quite proud of my self today. I've just completed seven marathons, in seven days.
Or Snickers, as they're known nowadays.
Just a modest one mind - nothing too flashy
Heard it.
Police have confirmed that an ex Premiership footballer and a current one have had their houses burgled on the same night.
Ryan Giggs lost 2 Champions League medals, 13 Premiership, 4 FA Cup and 4 League Cup medals.
Harry Kane lost a kettle and a toaster.
Clint Eatswood.
"It's Norman".
"Good morning Norman, that's a lovely church, how old is it?"