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Women

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  • Harriet Harperson---Jaqui Smith--Hazel Beers--Cherri Blair---Maggi Thatcher women great at many things but not politics.
  • To be honest they do have their faults but as long as they have a good ironing arm i dont mind giving up the remote............as watch most tv on computer...
  • women in general are alright. After 10 years of marriage my advice can be boiled do ensuring you remember and memorise the following three phrases:

    1. I'm sorry, i won't do it again.
    2. I'll do it in a minute.
    3. You look great in that.

    ideally you will be able to employ a combination of at least two of these in a response for extra brownie points although if you are after some bedroom action then try and use all three in a short space of time.
  • [cite]Posted By: kigelia[/cite]
    2. I'll do it in a minute.

    Not sure why that would improve the chances of any bedroom action but maybe we shouldn't go there ; - )
  • I like women my mums one.
  • Kigelia is bang on the money.

    Another key is when at the start of the relationship / living together, do as little as possible while they still caught up in the newness of the relationship. Go in like a bull in a china shop, hovering, ironing, being Domestic Dan etc and that will become the norm and be expected forever. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES agree to a shared rota of household tasks. It is the quickest way to signing a death warrant.

    Then occasionally, do the odd thing off your own back without prompting - it is seen as making an effort.

    Same thing with buying gifts, flowers etc. Do it regularly and it becomes expected, occassionally and it becomes thoughtful.

    Never utter the phrase 'i'll do that tomorrow' - It has cleverly been decrypted as 'why don't you shut up, i'm watching the football and the truth be told, its likely to still sit there untouched for at least the next month, probably longer'

    And put a diary entry in for every three weeks to say 'i like your hair'.

    See, easy :-)
  • [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]I like women my mums one.

    Mine too. What a coincidence
  • [cite]Posted By: MariaCAFC[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: MrOneLung[/cite]A bloke dont need a woman to cook for him Maria.
    We can just get a takeaway on way home from the pub.

    Fair Enough - saves on washing up. ;o)

    I cook, do housework, use the washing machine, iron, sew, anything else?
  • [cite]Posted By: AFKABartram[/cite]Relationships turn for the worse the minute you give up full control of the TV remote control.

    Stay strong chaps !

    Totally agree, I am the master of the remote and she knows it!
  • I do the cooking -----------the washing------75% of the ironng--------------100% of the shoping-------------100% the gardening.
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  • my other half doas bugger all 4 years never cooked.............she works the garden and makes lists for me.......and of course i dread the words

    * i was thinking maybe we could * ( meaning i can )
    * i was looking in the new homes diy magazine * ( another loan needed )
    * ooo B&Q have got a sale on * ( hours wandering around like Prince Phillips after the queen )

    Saying that shes a good old sort and evens keeps saying whens the season starting cos i keep getting in her way
    *
  • I like women my wifes one and my sister !!
  • When I mention I am off to/shall we go to the pub, my wife always asks why?

    Not one of my male friends has ever asked that.
  • When I moved in with my girlfriend last year, I was surprised to find that saturday mornings involved hoovering,dusting and cleaning whilst having a hangover.
    Not only that, but we had to do it early doors, so as 'not to waste the day'

    I soon decided to splash out for a cleaner 2 hours a week.
    Best 14 quid a week I spend.
  • I'm disappointed - 12 hours ago, I sat back with my popcorn to watch the ensuing carnage, and Curb-It still hasn't threatened to headlock Carter.
  • I am now single again having been told we do not see enough of each other. Err well the fact that you get home from London at Ten every weekday is my fault? Women you can live without them FACT
  • Im currently on Day 2 of the monthly 3 day crying at the TV / getting stressed for no reason / "You dont ever listen to me" fest......

    Wahoooo! Only one more day to go and then back to normal for 29 days
  • I keep trying to reply to this thread but am not sure what to say :-)

    I will say though that I'm very happy doing my own DIY and gardening and don't think I need to find a man to do it for me - which is probably why I'm still single as I have no incentive not to be!!!
  • Thats because Aliwibble there is no reason to reply to such utter bowlocks.

    Carters knows it... and he knows whats coming to him to..............!
  • [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]I Women you can live without them FACT

    Too right mate, having been binned after 25 years of marriage I am on my own and l am lovin' it.

    Boys being on your own is feckin great.
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  • [cite]Posted By: JWADDICK[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]I Women you can live without them FACT

    Too right mate, having been binned after 25 years of marriage I am on my own and l am lovin' it.

    Boys being on your own is feckin great.

    Sorry to pi55 on your parade, but 28 years last week and still very happy........................................Checks with the wife............................ <is that what you wanted me to type dear?> ; )

    But why when I put something down and its not there on my return.......... "You couldnt have put there or it would still be there"
    The good lady puts something down and its not there on her return............ "why have you moved xyz"
  • Mrs Mog works nights at Vauxhall (the Post office......you dirty feckers......),and some weeks when i'm busy we only see each other as I'm going out and shes coming in. Then we spend our weekends in the pub,at Charlton or Canterbury/Beckenham.
    I love that woman.
  • Whats, 'a remote'?
  • edited May 2009
    Oh its ok, i've changed my mind, has Carter pulled a Fella yet?
  • Arrrrgh

    I do enjoy living a single life, every now and again a woman comes along who makes me turn my head and think 'hold on' and then I find why they are single also at 25+ years of age! Pretty as a picture but complete and utter head-f*cks! Seem like normal people, up for a laugh, get my sense of humour (the sanitised one) etc etc then it seems to be game playing time and I just do not understand why setting me what feels like obscure tests is in any way appealing and when my straight (not rude or blunt) answers are given to questions it is like dropping a firework in gunpowder!

    Tell you what, I've had it up to my ears with all this game playing bollocks! Fair play to everyone who finds a sould mate blah blah blah but I am it seems Satan and I have not the foggiest idea why.
  • Sounds to me like you should go for a bit of cock Carter
  • I got a new housemate moving in soon, few of you met him. Rob, came along to the Preston (I think) game and had a beer before in the lib. He has quite long hair so is probably up for it!!

    No the thought of that makes my guts turn.

    I'm abandoning the idea of finding a fit, normal woman to have as a girlfriend. My life is uncomplicated and I will continue to keep it so I think
  • Women are awesome. In small doses. Unfortunately that's not the way it works. Been married for nine years next week and its been pretty shit the last three years. I have, however, come to the conclusion that this is nothing to do with her - I'm just a c*** to live with and would be better off on my own.

    If I do end up jogging her on I'm never getting married again (or even living with another bird). It does my f***ing shwede in.
  • Just go brassing once a fortnight then. Cheaper than movies, drinks, meal etc and youre on to a dead cert
  • A wise old man said to me once that paying for sex always works out cheaper in the long run.

    Leroy I am disturbed by how often I find myself agreeing with you but you are bang on with that last one.
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