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Girl Trouble?! (problem i guess)

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  • did she fart in front of you or something. i dumped a girl for that when i was a young buck. nothing can put you of a woman more than when she farts.
  • [cite]Posted By: carlsberg[/cite]did she fart in front of you or something. i dumped a girl for that when i was a young buck. nothing can put you of a woman more than when she farts.

    Hear, Hear
  • Yeah farting is a man thing, women can keep burps but farts are ours

    On a lighter note, the lady who lives a couple of doors along from me has two teenage sons and the eldest, a nice lad he is has been bringing a string of fit young girls back of late, the dozy sod has just been giving one a seeing to with his lights on full whack and nurtains non-existent. I heard my housemate scream out i flew up the stairs to see the show! If he did that on purpose fair play to him. If not, stoopid boy!

    That's the way to behave as a youngster!
  • BEST THREAD EVER!

    This thread has been so funny that i PMSL then ROFL I think I RIMPL, yuck!

    We should start an agony aunt thread on here called "Dear Lifers"...

    It wouldn't solve your problems but you'd have a bloody good laugh
  • Do you ever look at some couples and think 'how on earth did that happen'?

    2 examples, my mate Carl is (and I'm not afraid to say it) a good looking bloke, always had women chasing him. However his wife is f*cking humungous, like at least twice his weight. They look like a number 10 when they stand next to each other

    Another

    My housemate is never without a bird and Stu and Ketman will testify he is a bowlheaded twat!
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]They look like a number 10 when they stand next to each other

    hahahaha
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Do you ever look at some couples and think 'how on earth did that happen'?

    2 examples, my mate Carl is (and I'm not afraid to say it) a good looking bloke, always had women chasing him. However his wife is f*cking humungous, like at least twice his weight. They look like a number 10 when they stand next to each other

    Another

    My housemate is never without a bird and Stu and Ketman will testify he is a bowlheaded twat!


    Carts

    I really hope that he is unable to read English or see with his mince pies i nearly pissed my self with that
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Do you ever look at some couples and think 'how on earth did that happen'?

    2 examples, my mate Carl is (and I'm not afraid to say it) a good looking bloke, always had women chasing him. However his wife is f*cking humungous, like at least twice his weight. They look like a number 10 when they stand next to each !

    maybe he is a feeder?
  • Don't

    I saw a programme about Americans who do that, they put the crash weight gain stuff in everything their chosen one eats, drinks the lot just fatten them up, it's bloody sinister

    I think he just found a thing for fatties under the surface, the thing is she is that massive I don't know how they physically can have sex.

    He talked her out of going to Hong Kong in case you're interested too Stu. Strange lad that one
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Don't

    I saw a programme about Americans who do that, they put the crash weight gain stuff in everything their chosen one eats, drinks the lot just fatten them up, it's bloody sinister

    I think he just found a thing for fatties under the surface, the thing is she is that massive I don't know how they physically can have sex.

    He talked her out of going to Hong Kong in case you're interested too Stu. Strange lad that one

    more cushion for the pooshin!
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  • edited August 2009
    I had my mate drop in earlier, we found an old picture of him on holiday with an absolute horror he goosed, not just the once either!!

    I took a look at the photo and a look at him and just said 'you would actually f*ck anything wouldn't you?'

    He once did his neck in because a big fat Welsh girl was sitting on his face and he couldn't breathe so he tried to lift her off with just his head.

    His motto on holiday is go ugly early and avoid disappointment later on. The geezer has done worse things than gumbo and me put together
  • well you should see what i just married .........*nervously looks over shoulder*
  • Someone's got a deathwish...
  • [cite]Posted By: carlsberg[/cite]well you should see what i just married .........*nervously looks over shoulder*

    Ouch!
  • [cite]Posted By: carlsberg[/cite]did she fart in front of you or something. i dumped a girl for that when i was a young buck. nothing can put you of a woman more than when she farts.
    After being brought up on Woolwich nightclubs, i considered this a form of foreplay.
  • this thread is fcuking brilliant.

    Many years ago when we went to Forest and needed to win to go up (think the club layed on free travel), I'd been in the Venue the night before and pulled this absolute fat munter...luckily I'd lost my mates in there and ended up taking this bird back to her house, got out of there pretty lively before she woke up.

    Imagine my horror the next morning when we board our coach at Well Hall and her and her even fatter mate are our stewards....not a pleasant trip that one. Thankfully she said nothing and I just prayed my mates didn't recognise her, thankfully they didn't and I owned up once back in the safety of the pub in the evening
  • Never f*ck a fat bird with the light on, you always burn your arse.
  • I would love to resurrect the Ketman's Lovelife Thread, but would be pretty boring at the moment as F*ck all going on :-) Nice to read some of the helpful tips people have posted for the fella though.
  • Fat birds love it....
  • Fat birds give better head cos they are hungry

    Aparantly
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  • Don't ever go near fat birds, my mate has nailed loads of them. He did his neck in once when one sat on his face.

    I have done it once, 2002 at Bar Rio's. I was battered and loads of people I knew saw me leave with her. It took me ages to live it down and it is not nice.

    Maybe that makes me sizeist but I spent a long, rainy walk home the next morning making chunder stops just thinking about my behaviour the hours before.

    Whatever you do kids, leave the fatties for your depraved sick mates who like playing pull the pig. Unless you're a poster currently living up North and blackpool requires a result of some form!!!
  • So glad to read that we now live in more enlightened times and people are judged on their personalities rather than mere physical appearance.
  • Be quiet you gingered hair lanky freak.





    ;-)
  • edited September 2009
    [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]Be quiet you gingered hair lanky freak.

    ;-)

    LOL
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