Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Chat up lines

Gumbo
Gumbo Posts: 957
edited March 2012 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Just thinking with ball mouth coming up on sat! Anyone got any classic/cheesy/crap chat up lines

Man:- "you Irish love?"
Women:- "No why"
Man:- "coz everytime I look at you my cocks Dublin"

Great chat up line from a movie
«1345

Comments

  • Stu_of_Kunming
    Stu_of_Kunming Posts: 17,116
    Dicko: "Can you hold my pint a second"
    Kets: "Sure thing"
    Kets: "What the f***"

    Seemed to work pretty well in blackpool!
  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    I know ricky Gervais.. ;-)

    67% of the time it works everytime.

    Paddy from phoenix nights used a belter,

    "Alright love, nice legs.. what time do they open?"
  • RedArmySE7
    RedArmySE7 Posts: 5,407
    "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiece"
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Do you work for DHL? Because I saw you checking out my package.
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Fancy a night at the Hilton?

    Worked last week.
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,640
    For any bird of a foriegn persuasion.
    Have you got any English in you?
    No.
    Would you like some?
  • Gumbo
    Gumbo Posts: 957
    "does this napkin smell of rolhypnole"
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919

    2 birds together walk over to them and ask one


    Do you like to dance

    if she says yes

    Tell her to fook off then cos i want to talk to your pal





    Alternatively

    Walk up to her and say i might not be the best looking bloke in here


    but i am the only one talking to you






    Or the one that serves me best




    Dont turn this rape in to a murder
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,833
    "does this napkin smell of rolhypnole"
    Rohypnol doesnt smell - do you mean chloroform ?

  • bolloxbolder
    bolloxbolder Posts: 7,958
    NLA should be struck off for that.
  • Sponsored links:



  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,632
    Me - Can I smell your f*nny

    Girl - F**k off

    Me - oh, must be your feet then
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,833
    Me - would you like to dance?
    Her - no I would never dance with you?
    Me - you misheard me, I said that dress makes your arse look fat


    Surely the best chat up line is Hi, can I get you a drink.
  • Gumbo
    Gumbo Posts: 957
    Either way same out come?!
  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    There are 256 bones in your body! Would you like another?

  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Hello Mrs Wiseman.
  • Bryan_Kynsie
    Bryan_Kynsie Posts: 2,179
    Are you free later this evening? No? Oh alright, how much then?
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    Do you like fruit?

    Yes

    Then suck my c*ck it's a peach
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,782
    This one works every time:

    Here love, drink this, it's fine..................
  • MCS
    MCS Posts: 8,404
    Have you ever had ya belly button licked.............. From the inside!
  • Deadred
    Deadred Posts: 1,514
    edited March 2012
    Back in the day before mobile phones it used to be

    bloke 'have you got 10p love?'
    girl 'no why?'
    bloke 'you need to give your mum a ring to tell her you won't be home tonight'
  • Sponsored links:



  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    "whats that in my pocket you say.. just some gaffer tape and a stanley knife.. another drink?"
  • Chirpy Red
    Chirpy Red Posts: 7,587
    "You look like my 3rd wife"

    "How many have you had?"

    "Two....."
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    just get your cock out and say

    "'ere love, get your laughing gear round that"
  • Deadred
    Deadred Posts: 1,514
    just get your cock out and say

    "'ere love, get your laughing gear round that"
    Subtle dave very subtle!
  • jdsd42
    jdsd42 Posts: 1,497


    Hi ..yes i am a Millionaire ............sure to work
  • SuperCliveMendonca
    SuperCliveMendonca Posts: 912
    Do you come here often?
  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    "thats so funny i love hannah montana too..."

  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    "Hello, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you"

  • Saga Lout
    Saga Lout Posts: 6,845
    "Ey up Luv! Those clothes would look great in a heap on my bedroom floor!".
  • Dizzle
    Dizzle Posts: 5,190
    Would you like one thats funny, but also a bit cheesey to make them laugh at the same time?

    You approach them and you say to them "Hey, look, feel this" and hand them part of your clothing. Maybe a cuff, maybe part of a jumper or shirt. They have a feel and usually look a bit confused. Then you say "do you know what that is?" ... They still look confused. "No" they reply. "Boyfriend material" you remark, with a wink.

    Then listen as the waves break in her fanny

Categories

“Marketplace”