So many prompts of memories of my loving fruitloop of an ex. Birthdays - this woman would regularly forget our anniversary but heaven help me if I stopped celebrating what's - let's face it - just another day for a mere second. Her last birthday we were together I arranged for us and a bunch of her/our mates to go to the Lightship in St Katharine's Dock for a meal. I met up with my brother in law at the pub opposite (name escapes me) (remembered, it's Dave) ;-) before the meal. I got a phone call from said fruitloop, who had arrived with her parents at the restaurant. From previous experiences I'd learned not to delay - "I'll just finish this pint and I'll be right over".
Still the wrong move. I was relegated to the other end of the table and not spoken to - not even looked at - until the following morning when, on top of all the hassle about not being there with the red carpet for when she arrived, I was accused of flirting relentlessly with her mate who she'd made me sit next to and making her friend cry as a result. She then 'accidentally' dropped a £120 bottle of Scotland's finest on the quarry tiles in the kitchen. (The story's a bit more involved than that but it will depress you all just how low women can go when they get together and they're in the mood).
Called her the name of a different girl (that she hated) at work for a laugh. Spent the rest of our holiday sleeping on one of those horrible futons where the metal pole eats away at your back in the night.
Some people aint got no sense of humour.
Depends at what, ahem, point in the evening you did so...
I've been in the doghouse a few times for calling a girl an ex's name, i've done that about 4 times now ... Mel and Emma are very similar names to my mind apparently.
Once I did it quite loud when i was with mates and everyone around me heard but not the girl, thank god my mates weren't in a mood to fuck about that night otherwise I could've been hung drawn and quartered.
There is a different level of sensitivity going on there. Coming in from work (where I manage a team of substance misuse workers) feeling burned out, and not wanting to talk in detail about her clients which is in a related field for 30 minutes is one that can lead to an evening of monosyllables....
Called her the name of a different girl (that she hated) at work for a laugh. Spent the rest of our holiday sleeping on one of those horrible futons where the metal pole eats away at your back in the night.
Some people aint got no sense of humour.
Depends at what, ahem, point in the evening you did so...
Just remembered a classic. The wife was going to be late home from work so I got home, cooked her something nice, opened a bottle of wine and managed to time it so she could come in, take off her coat and sit down to dinner straight away.
Got told off cos I didn't include a cup of tea and she always has a cuppa when she gets in from work! No thank you. Not "Oh that was nice of you". Just "What about my tea?"
And that, milud, is when I reached for the carving knife...
My ex wouldn't talk to me for like 2 days as i said her friend was only slightly hot. I would of been in trouble whatever my answer was.
In those instances. Just refuse to answer. I always reserve the right not to answer if i believe it to be a trick question and that is definitely one.
Then it'd be, "Why aren't you answering? You obviously think she is. Why aren't you with her then?"
I state very specifically why I'm not answering. Normally they realise (begrudgingly) that it is an unfair question. I swear they just wanna rip our c**ks off ya know. They enjoy being angry at us that much
This very morning I got up at half five, washed up all last nights tea things, did a load of washing and got it on the line and ironed everyones clothes for work / school. On the way to work she texts that my daughter didn't want that skirt for school and not even one kiss on the end! Should have stayed in bed!
My ex wouldn't talk to me for like 2 days as i said her friend was only slightly hot. I would of been in trouble whatever my answer was.
In those instances. Just refuse to answer. I always reserve the right not to answer if i believe it to be a trick question and that is definitely one.
Then it'd be, "Why aren't you answering? You obviously think she is. Why aren't you with her then?"
I state very specifically why I'm not answering. Normally they realise (begrudgingly) that it is an unfair question. I swear they just wanna rip our c**ks off ya know. They enjoy being angry at us that much
I may adopt this technique in the future. Will have to perfect the reason for not answering.
Three years ago I went on a lads' holiday to Zante which we had booked about a month before I started seeing this Welsh bird. The holiday wasn't until August (I'd been with her since March).
As she had seen some TV show about young British people abroad getting up to all sorts of antics and she had pretty much decided that I would be a completely heartless person if I went along. She hated the lads I was going along with and didn't trust them.
She wanted me to not go in any nightclubs or go ANYWHERE where there are women. Anyone who has been to Zante will know this is pretty much impossible.
I was on my best behavior all week, did nothing wrong whatsoever. At one point though we did go into a bar called Cocktails & Dreams, I'm sure some of you who've been there will know it. Random drunk women usually get up on the bar - I took little notice.
My mates, the f*ckers, captured a picture of me with stood by this bar after ordering a drink and cruelly tagged the missus.
This very morning I got up at half five, washed up all last nights tea things, did a load of washing and got it on the line and ironed everyones clothes for work / school. On the way to work she texts that my daughter didn't want that skirt for school and not even one kiss on the end! Should have stayed in bed!
Why did you leave the washing up until this morning? I hate you*
This very morning I got up at half five, washed up all last nights tea things, did a load of washing and got it on the line and ironed everyones clothes for work / school. On the way to work she texts that my daughter didn't want that skirt for school and not even one kiss on the end! Should have stayed in bed!
Why did you leave the washing up until this morning? I hate you*
*the imagined words as I read your post.
Close..."Why put washing on in the morning, you know it wakes me up" followed a week later by "Don't you ever do any washing, the basket is full again!" (I realise writing this has shown I am completely under the thumb but she is 28 and I'm 43 so there is an upside
Three years ago I went on a lads' holiday to Zante which we had booked about a month before I started seeing this Welsh bird. The holiday wasn't until August (I'd been with her since March).
As she had seen some TV show about young British people abroad getting up to all sorts of antics and she had pretty much decided that I would be a completely heartless person if I went along. She hated the lads I was going along with and didn't trust them.
She wanted me to not go in any nightclubs or go ANYWHERE where there are women. Anyone who has been to Zante will know this is pretty much impossible.
I was on my best behavior all week, did nothing wrong whatsoever. At one point though we did go into a bar called Cocktails & Dreams, I'm sure some of you who've been there will know it. Random drunk women usually get up on the bar - I took little notice.
My mates, the f*ckers, captured a picture of me with stood by this bar after ordering a drink and cruelly tagged the missus.
Three years ago I went on a lads' holiday to Zante which we had booked about a month before I started seeing this Welsh bird. The holiday wasn't until August (I'd been with her since March).
As she had seen some TV show about young British people abroad getting up to all sorts of antics and she had pretty much decided that I would be a completely heartless person if I went along. She hated the lads I was going along with and didn't trust them.
She wanted me to not go in any nightclubs or go ANYWHERE where there are women. Anyone who has been to Zante will know this is pretty much impossible.
I was on my best behavior all week, did nothing wrong whatsoever. At one point though we did go into a bar called Cocktails & Dreams, I'm sure some of you who've been there will know it. Random drunk women usually get up on the bar - I took little notice.
My mates, the f*ckers, captured a picture of me with stood by this bar after ordering a drink and cruelly tagged the missus.
Three years ago I went on a lads' holiday to Zante which we had booked about a month before I started seeing this Welsh bird. The holiday wasn't until August (I'd been with her since March).
As she had seen some TV show about young British people abroad getting up to all sorts of antics and she had pretty much decided that I would be a completely heartless person if I went along. She hated the lads I was going along with and didn't trust them.
She wanted me to not go in any nightclubs or go ANYWHERE where there are women. Anyone who has been to Zante will know this is pretty much impossible.
I was on my best behavior all week, did nothing wrong whatsoever. At one point though we did go into a bar called Cocktails & Dreams, I'm sure some of you who've been there will know it. Random drunk women usually get up on the bar - I took little notice.
My mates, the f*ckers, captured a picture of me with stood by this bar after ordering a drink and cruelly tagged the missus.
To be fair you do look very pleased with yourself in that photo!
It also looks like you've got lipstick on your lips, weren't snogging her a couple of minutes earlier was you?
Haha, I wasn't. Funny story behind the lips....My first drink on the island that week was a sambucca shot set on fire. Hadn't done it before and I botched it right up. Bloody thing was flaming for about 3-4 seconds before I decided to swallow. Looks a little suspect though, I'll give you that!
Most arguments consist of me not knowing what it's about and secretly trying to work out what the hells going on.
Anyone every had the by the pool on holiday scenario where your checking out a hotty (whilst pretending to read) and you get this stoney pissed off 'nice is she' in your ear? ... no me neither lol
I once gave a girl the "once over" whilst my then 1st wife was driving and I was in the passenger seat. She stopped, reversed until level with said girl and wound down my window (automatic ones) and cooly said to me........go, on then - ask her is she fancies a f**k !!!
Most arguments consist of me not knowing what it's about and secretly trying to work out what the hells going on.
Anyone every had the by the pool on holiday scenario where your checking out a hotty (whilst pretending to read) and you get this stoney pissed off 'nice is she' in your ear? ... no me neither lol
I once gave a girl the "once over" whilst my then 1st wife was driving and I was in the passenger seat. She stopped, reversed until level with said girl and wound down my window (automatic ones) and cooly said to me........go, on then - ask her is she fancies a f**k !!!
ever tried hiding in a Nissan Micra !!
God that sounds horrible but its bloody hilarious!
Most arguments consist of me not knowing what it's about and secretly trying to work out what the hells going on.
Anyone every had the by the pool on holiday scenario where your checking out a hotty (whilst pretending to read) and you get this stoney pissed off 'nice is she' in your ear? ... no me neither lol
I once gave a girl the "once over" whilst my then 1st wife was driving and I was in the passenger seat. She stopped, reversed until level with said girl and wound down my window (automatic ones) and cooly said to me........go, on then - ask her is she fancies a f**k !!!
My missus rarely gets the hump, is very sweet natured, understands exactly and supports me whenever I want to do something, likes the fact that I go to Charlton every home game and various cricket matches during the summer, thinks that me spending time with my sons and my friends is very healthy, is very appreciative of flowers and presents.
Something is clearly very wrong with her. What the hell is going on?
I'm only 8 months into my first permanent office job, and I've learnt there are some absolute fruitcake women in the workplace, who are prone to similar cold shoulder techniques over ridiculous things. All of which can make project work pretty difficult!
Least if they're your other half, you get something in return for putting up with this kind of rubbish. You can't even tell females colleagues they are being fricking ridiculous.
The conclusion this young, naive man has reached is that all women, be they colleagues, girlfriends/partners or family members, are absolutely mental
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Still the wrong move. I was relegated to the other end of the table and not spoken to - not even looked at - until the following morning when, on top of all the hassle about not being there with the red carpet for when she arrived, I was accused of flirting relentlessly with her mate who she'd made me sit next to and making her friend cry as a result. She then 'accidentally' dropped a £120 bottle of Scotland's finest on the quarry tiles in the kitchen. (The story's a bit more involved than that but it will depress you all just how low women can go when they get together and they're in the mood).
I should write a book...
Once I did it quite loud when i was with mates and everyone around me heard but not the girl, thank god my mates weren't in a mood to fuck about that night otherwise I could've been hung drawn and quartered.
Got told off cos I didn't include a cup of tea and she always has a cuppa when she gets in from work! No thank you. Not "Oh that was nice of you". Just "What about my tea?"
And that, milud, is when I reached for the carving knife...
As she had seen some TV show about young British people abroad getting up to all sorts of antics and she had pretty much decided that I would be a completely heartless person if I went along. She hated the lads I was going along with and didn't trust them.
She wanted me to not go in any nightclubs or go ANYWHERE where there are women. Anyone who has been to Zante will know this is pretty much impossible.
I was on my best behavior all week, did nothing wrong whatsoever. At one point though we did go into a bar called Cocktails & Dreams, I'm sure some of you who've been there will know it. Random drunk women usually get up on the bar - I took little notice.
My mates, the f*ckers, captured a picture of me with stood by this bar after ordering a drink and cruelly tagged the missus.
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/58879_504626809405_6294199_n.jpg
That shoulder was cold for a very long time.
I hate you*
*the imagined words as I read your post.
(I realise writing this has shown I am completely under the thumb but she is 28 and I'm 43 so there is an upside
Well it's either that or the fact I wasn't listening in the first place...Hhmmm?
I once gave a girl the "once over" whilst my then 1st wife was driving and I was in the passenger seat. She stopped, reversed until level with said girl and wound down my window (automatic ones) and cooly said to me........go, on then - ask her is she fancies a f**k !!!
ever tried hiding in a Nissan Micra !!
Call them a bitch and they only get worse, call them mean and they crack.
I'm only 8 months into my first permanent office job, and I've learnt there are some absolute fruitcake women in the workplace, who are prone to similar cold shoulder techniques over ridiculous things. All of which can make project work pretty difficult!
Least if they're your other half, you get something in return for putting up with this kind of rubbish. You can't even tell females colleagues they are being fricking ridiculous.
The conclusion this young, naive man has reached is that all women, be they colleagues, girlfriends/partners or family members, are absolutely mental