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The stupidest reason for getting the cold shoulder from your girlfriend/boyfriend?

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  • Croydon
    Croydon Posts: 12,735
    In the doghouse this very minute for wanting to watch the spurs game tonight rather than watch a film round hers with her mum,because that sounds much more fun doesnt it?!
  • Elthamaddick
    Elthamaddick Posts: 15,818
    told the missus to go to the gym and I'll watch the kids....she'll only realise why when she gets to the gym!
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 9,001
    You're my hero Dan.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    a smallwall mate a few years back, drinking with us in the Horse & Groom one Sunday afternoon, as the late afternoon turned into evening, his mrs appears in the pub, with foil wrapped dinner plate and gravy boat, places it on the bar and tells him that as he likes it so much in the pub he can have his dinner in there. He got the landlord to warm it up and ate it.
  • Got screwed on a trick question last night and didn't realise till it was too late. That was a fun hour and a half. I blame the 6 or 7 pints for slowing my reactions.
  • rikofold
    rikofold Posts: 4,051

    rikofold said:

    Oh and apparently I was a paedo for the occasional glance at internet porn. "They're all late teens early 20s, you sicko". Leaving aside the obvious error there, I guess she didn't get that Wayne Rooney's favourite website really isn't the norm.

    Occasional? Yeah, right.
    More occasional than I cared for...
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    @DA9 was you outside the Horse a good few year back on a Sunday when a mutual indian friend got a pint over his head courtesy of his other half for missing his dinner? : /
  • rikofold
    rikofold Posts: 4,051
    Was sat on the sofa next to the ex wife once. Looked over at her. Next thing I knew she was laying into me - literally - for 'looking at her funny'.

    All these are true by the way. I have to laugh or I'd cry.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    BIG_ROB said:

    @DA9 was you outside the Horse a good few year back on a Sunday when a mutual indian friend got a pint over his head courtesy of his other half for missing his dinner? : /


    D?

    Think I was yes.
  • MickeyBennett
    MickeyBennett Posts: 676
    Crapped myself at a holy communion.
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  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    DA9 said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    @DA9 was you outside the Horse a good few year back on a Sunday when a mutual indian friend got a pint over his head courtesy of his other half for missing his dinner? : /


    D?

    Think I was yes.
    Yes, it was one of the old Sunday sessions in there with seafood and live music.
  • Norfolk_Addick
    Norfolk_Addick Posts: 2,289
    The dog stole my girlfriend's socks from the washing basket and went under the dining table with them. She layed there moaning while I got up and wrestled the socks off the dog. I then kicked the dog and called him a twat. I got shouted at and was told I was turning in to my dad and got the silent treatment for kicking him. (I didn't kick him hard, just lightly on the arse as he ran off)
  • Joshuk87
    Joshuk87 Posts: 503
    Introduced a gf to an ex who I was still mates with but got the wrong name stormed out the pub with me following saying Im in trouble now. Threw away the braclet I had bought her. Next morning wasn't really speaking to me then told me I should have gone and searched for the braclet she threw in the woods.

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.
  • Joshuk87 said:

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.

    You what??? Tell us you didn't go along with that...
  • Joshuk87
    Joshuk87 Posts: 503

    Joshuk87 said:

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.

    You what??? Tell us you didn't go along with that...
    At the end I didn't
  • Joshuk87
    Joshuk87 Posts: 503
    I did take her once though we lost 3-1 so she was banned.
  • NathanPrior
    NathanPrior Posts: 3,577
    Went to a mates party and had some girl I know ask for a dance so I obliged, told the missus about it and got ignored for a day. Nothing even happened.
  • Busterblitz
    Busterblitz Posts: 212

    Went to a mates party and had some girl I know ask for a dance so I obliged, told the missus about it and got ignored for a day. Nothing even happened.

    This reminds me...doing research on a remote mountain in Ecuador, on the last evening our lodge provided traditional entertainment accompanied with salsa lessons for us that couldn't dance. Somehow, even though we didn't have enough electricity, somebody took a photograph of me with an admittedly attractive Ecuadorian and this was beamed through to somewhere where my girlfriend saw it. When I returned to the capital and had electricity, I got a pleasant e-mail telling me - in short - not to bother coming back!

  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274

    Went to a mates party and had some girl I know ask for a dance so I obliged, told the missus about it and got ignored for a day. Nothing even happened.

    This reminds me...doing research on a remote mountain in Ecuador, on the last evening our lodge provided traditional entertainment accompanied with salsa lessons for us that couldn't dance. Somehow, even though we didn't have enough electricity, somebody took a photograph of me with an admittedly attractive Ecuadorian and this was beamed through to somewhere where my girlfriend saw it. When I returned to the capital and had electricity, I got a pleasant e-mail telling me - in short - not to bother coming back!

    The Last Tango In Quito
  • The Red Robin
    The Red Robin Posts: 26,127
    Joshuk87 said:

    Introduced a gf to an ex who I was still mates with but got the wrong name stormed out the pub with me following saying Im in trouble now. Threw away the braclet I had bought her. Next morning wasn't really speaking to me then told me I should have gone and searched for the braclet she threw in the woods.

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.

    Banned you?! For 3 years? Mental. I hope for your sake it was 2006-2009 because you didn't miss much there!
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  • Elthamaddick
    Elthamaddick Posts: 15,818

    Joshuk87 said:

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.

    You what??? Tell us you didn't go along with that...
    she'd have lasted 3 mins...
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    Joshuk87 said:

    Introduced a gf to an ex who I was still mates with but got the wrong name stormed out the pub with me following saying Im in trouble now. Threw away the braclet I had bought her. Next morning wasn't really speaking to me then told me I should have gone and searched for the braclet she threw in the woods.

    This is the same ex who banned me from charlton for 3 years thou.

    Did she give you your balls back when you split up? ;o)
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    I can't believe some on here are complaining about the silent treatment...I'd give anything to have that 24/7.
  • rikofold
    rikofold Posts: 4,051
    I blame you lot for this one. Woke up this morning and, guess what, the missus has had a dream where I was horrible to her and started to give me the evils as a result. "It was only a dream sweetheart" didn't seem to do the trick immediately, but after a little while she thawed a bit.

    Following a midnight discussion about whether we should have kids, she then gave me her iPad to show me a video of two guys undergoing a simulation of contractions, quite funny but I think she had a serious point in there somewhere. I couldn't resist saying "Yeah, but there's no greater pain than being kicked in the nuts" - she went a bit mental at me about how she knew I'd say that and then barely spoke to me before she left for work.

    I think my constant giggling as this bloody thread popped into mind with her every word didn't help. :-)
  • rikofold said:

    I blame you lot for this one. Woke up this morning and, guess what, the missus has had a dream where I was horrible to her and started to give me the evils as a result. "It was only a dream sweetheart" didn't seem to do the trick immediately, but after a little while she thawed a bit.

    Following a midnight discussion about whether we should have kids, she then gave me her iPad to show me a video of two guys undergoing a simulation of contractions, quite funny but I think she had a serious point in there somewhere. I couldn't resist saying "Yeah, but there's no greater pain than being kicked in the nuts" - she went a bit mental at me about how she knew I'd say that and then barely spoke to me before she left for work.

    I think my constant giggling as this bloody thread popped into mind with her every word didn't help. :-)

    Remind her that no man every says "I would love to get kicked in the balls again" unlike women and pregnancy!
  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,051

    rikofold said:

    I blame you lot for this one. Woke up this morning and, guess what, the missus has had a dream where I was horrible to her and started to give me the evils as a result. "It was only a dream sweetheart" didn't seem to do the trick immediately, but after a little while she thawed a bit.

    Following a midnight discussion about whether we should have kids, she then gave me her iPad to show me a video of two guys undergoing a simulation of contractions, quite funny but I think she had a serious point in there somewhere. I couldn't resist saying "Yeah, but there's no greater pain than being kicked in the nuts" - she went a bit mental at me about how she knew I'd say that and then barely spoke to me before she left for work.

    I think my constant giggling as this bloody thread popped into mind with her every word didn't help. :-)

    Remind her that no man every says "I would love to get kicked in the balls again" unlike women and pregnancy!
    trying to win an argument with logic and reason? Prepare the sofa!
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,157
    15 years ago i'd been going out with a girl for a few months she seemed pretty keen and we had talked about buying a flat together and all that shit
    i went away for a boys week in Tenerife, pre mobile phone days, so a couple of late drunken phone calls from a phone box to check in with the bird all ok .
    i get back and a mate says we're going Barbados tomorrow for the cricket, a couple of one dayers, gonna be out there 9 days are you up for it ....spoke to bird said it's a great opportunity blah blah blah (worked for myself so ok with time off) and she was fine with me going
    same again a couple of drunken phone calls checking in whilst away
    get back and she says i'm smothering her and she dumps me lol

    just say i'm a shit shag and dump me you freak or make up a feasible excuse ... weirdos
  • johnnybev1987
    johnnybev1987 Posts: 11,412

    15 years ago i'd been going out with a girl for a few months she seemed pretty keen and we had talked about buying a flat together and all that shit
    i went away for a boys week in Tenerife, pre mobile phone days, so a couple of late drunken phone calls from a phone box to check in with the bird all ok .
    i get back and a mate says we're going Barbados tomorrow for the cricket, a couple of one dayers, gonna be out there 9 days are you up for it ....spoke to bird said it's a great opportunity blah blah blah (worked for myself so ok with time off) and she was fine with me going
    same again a couple of drunken phone calls checking in whilst away
    get back and she says i'm smothering her and she dumps me lol

    just say i'm a shit shag and dump me you freak or make up a feasible excuse ... weirdos

    lol you say that now :)
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,956
    Just caught up with this thread - brilliant, Golfie in particular.

    And Rikofold, can't believe your patience.

    Agreed with so many of the other stories on here.

    Been in trouble for coming home drunk, but then moaned out if I don't come home and sleep round a mates.
    Been moaned at for not making an effort with a girlfriend's mates, but then told off for ignoring/'hardly speaking to her all night' if you do.

    Generally it's with with exes rather than the current Mrs, so guess I'm lucky there. However, this:
    DA9 said:

    Women are officially mental, take this weekend just gone, bank holiday, Saturday, spend hours in the kitchen putting new table and chairs together, then remove offending boxes to local tip, and tidy up when I get back.
    Sunday, clean bathroom, change bed sheets, hoover whole house, put on at least 3 washing loads, and hang on airer etc, repair split in leather sofa with kit from ebay, replace back garden patio cover with new one from ebay.
    Monday, sit on sofa with cold beer watching football, to which I get..."is that all your going to do this weekend?"

    is spot on with every woman I've ever been out with. You can do as much as you like but if you're not helping out when they've suddenly gone into domestic mode, you're a lazy git and won't help!

    Had evenings where I've done the shopping on the way home, got in, cooked, washed up while she's sat back watching Hollyoaks, put the washing on, taken the bins out, put the finished washing out and the dry stuff away, made lunches (for both of us) for the next day, cleared that all up, but then I've got in trouble for "Just sitting there watching her hoover without helping".
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,602


    Had evenings where I've done the shopping on the way home, got in, cooked, washed up while she's sat back watching Hollyoaks, put the washing on, taken the bins out, put the finished washing out and the dry stuff away, made lunches (for both of us) for the next day, cleared that all up, but then I've got in trouble for "Just sitting there watching her hoover without helping".

    Same here, although I was cracking one off while watching her.