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"Where's the talking?" - Sunday league shouts

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  • RedChaser
    RedChaser Posts: 19,886
    Ref to me as I was about to hang up my boots,
    'That's your last warning one more late tackle and you're off'.
    Me to ref 'c'mon ref I got there as quick as I can these days'.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    had one fella that every time a team mate would get fouled he used to shout dramatically "THANK YOUUU" to the ref.
  • randy andy
    randy andy Posts: 5,457
    NUTS!

    Though I was on the receiving end of that one usually
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    Used to love standing on somewhere like hackney marshes, fields for as far as you could see, and a demented team mate insisting that i 'SHOW 'IM THE OUTSIDE"
  • RedChaser
    RedChaser Posts: 19,886
    Who's got the runner?.....f**k me I'm supposed to be sweeping!
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    as the ball gets fetched from the car park after the 15th wayward shot

    "IT'LL COME LADS, IT'LL COME"

  • charente addick
    charente addick Posts: 3,810
    Played in a match where our Scottish right back became so frustrated at the misplaced passes by one of our midfielders he ended up screaming -'ANDY, WE'RE PLAYING IN THE FUCKING YELLOW!!'
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    "ANDY, PUT YOUR NAME ON IT NEXT TIME"
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    "jim.......Jim.........JIM....JIIIIM.......JIIIIIIIIIIM.....JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM.....well played"
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,892
    "STAND IM UP, STAND IM UP"

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  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,892
    RedChaser said:

    Who's got the runner?.....f**k me I'm supposed to be sweeping!

    Used to love that one "RUNNER!" - as if the rest of us were walking!
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,232
    boggzy said:

    What a brilliant thread!

    Most topical was a Hammers fan on the opposing team yelling "WHO'S GOT THE RACIST?!" as I was unmarked near their goal (I was wearing a Charlton top!)

    Sorry for laughing but I just did.

  • superchrissypowell
    superchrissypowell Posts: 693
    "Ref you are fucking shit"...followed by a yellow card
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    ONE OF YOU!!!!

    PUT A NAME ON IT!
  • Karim_myBagheri
    Karim_myBagheri Posts: 12,736
    "DONT JUST LOOK AT HIM, TACKLE HIM!"

    or

    "STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM YOU TART!"
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    As a bunch of psychos are about to give you a kicking

    "Don't get involved lads. Concentrate on you're own game"
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    Playing a team of wimps

    "Dont have that Tel, let's see how he likes it"
  • RedChaser
    RedChaser Posts: 19,886
    'Get stuck in or else you are you are gonna get hurt'...........'oops ref, sub ref, ref sub'
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 9,001
    Best one I heard was as we were coming off at half-time the manager called over, "I want you to go to the doctors first thing Monnday"

    What you on about gaffer?

    For that allergy, you must be f**king allergic to that ball because I haven't seen you go near it once.
  • cafcsinger
    cafcsinger Posts: 5,550
    "Keep it on the deck!"

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  • Dizzle
    Dizzle Posts: 5,190
    AFKABartram said:

    Dizzle said:

    AFKABartram said:

    ValleyGary said:

    'IVE GOT TWO HERE!!!' meaning your only marking one but if he scores then you've got yourself well covered.

    we had a lot of fun with that one as we had a striker with only one ear. A lot of thought went into the nickname Danny One Ear

    I have played against him a few times already this season. He used to be a striker right? He is playing centre back this season
    Yep. Arrived with me a centre forward, few years of my intense coaching and he ended up left back ! he's a good lad.

    Yeah he is a decent fella. Slightly mental though. The ball went into a load of bushes, all sorts of stinging nettles and thorns. He just strolled right in there. Came out with a load of puncture wounds and sting nettle rashes. Had to change his shirt due to the blood and bandage up his hand. Nutter
  • Oakster
    Oakster Posts: 6,812
    Normally met with a wall of silence

    "who's doing the kit this week"'
  • RedChaser
    RedChaser Posts: 19,886
    edited November 2013
    Danny One Ear sounds like the amateur equivalent of Yann, the sort of bloke you want on your side :0)
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,834
    Dizzle said:

    AFKABartram said:

    Dizzle said:

    AFKABartram said:

    ValleyGary said:

    'IVE GOT TWO HERE!!!' meaning your only marking one but if he scores then you've got yourself well covered.

    we had a lot of fun with that one as we had a striker with only one ear. A lot of thought went into the nickname Danny One Ear

    I have played against him a few times already this season. He used to be a striker right? He is playing centre back this season
    Yep. Arrived with me a centre forward, few years of my intense coaching and he ended up left back ! he's a good lad.

    Yeah he is a decent fella. Slightly mental though. The ball went into a load of bushes, all sorts of stinging nettles and thorns. He just strolled right in there. Came out with a load of puncture wounds and sting nettle rashes. Had to change his shirt due to the blood and bandage up his hand. Nutter
    Ha, that's him all over. He's got so many scars he looks like he's been attacked by a shark.

  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,987
    'THAT'S IT...WORK THE LINE' after about 4 shit throwins and 10 yards gained.
  • kielyskickingboots
    kielyskickingboots Posts: 564
    Superb - laughing my pieces off at work reading this.

    Reminds me of when I used to keep goal behind a spectacularly slow centre-back. Nearly every week the oppo would say to their striker something like 'just knock it past him - he's towing a caravan!'

    Got so bad that during one particularly bad week of being outpaced repeatedly, our exasperated coach shouted from the touchline 'FFS Chris, put the f*****g piano down and get after the f****r!'

    Chris got sent off later that match.
  • PL54
    PL54 Posts: 10,757
    "no bounce"

    "seconds"

    "winners"

    "Eagles" everytime the ball gets hoofed forward
  • Saga Lout
    Saga Lout Posts: 6,845
    Loving this thread wish I could add something original and funny that hasn't already been posted.
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,870
    You're not good enough to wear white boots
    (Although this was my mate to Jason Euell about three games into his career with us)
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,341
    After game: Come on, lads, give us a hand. I put the nets up.

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