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"Where's the talking?" - Sunday league shouts

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  • Ref to me as I was about to hang up my boots,
    'That's your last warning one more late tackle and you're off'.
    Me to ref 'c'mon ref I got there as quick as I can these days'.
  • had one fella that every time a team mate would get fouled he used to shout dramatically "THANK YOUUU" to the ref.
  • NUTS!

    Though I was on the receiving end of that one usually
  • Used to love standing on somewhere like hackney marshes, fields for as far as you could see, and a demented team mate insisting that i 'SHOW 'IM THE OUTSIDE"
  • Who's got the runner?.....f**k me I'm supposed to be sweeping!
  • as the ball gets fetched from the car park after the 15th wayward shot

    "IT'LL COME LADS, IT'LL COME"

  • Played in a match where our Scottish right back became so frustrated at the misplaced passes by one of our midfielders he ended up screaming -'ANDY, WE'RE PLAYING IN THE FUCKING YELLOW!!'
  • "ANDY, PUT YOUR NAME ON IT NEXT TIME"
  • "jim.......Jim.........JIM....JIIIIM.......JIIIIIIIIIIM.....JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM.....well played"
  • "STAND IM UP, STAND IM UP"
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  • RedChaser said:

    Who's got the runner?.....f**k me I'm supposed to be sweeping!

    Used to love that one "RUNNER!" - as if the rest of us were walking!
  • boggzy said:

    What a brilliant thread!

    Most topical was a Hammers fan on the opposing team yelling "WHO'S GOT THE RACIST?!" as I was unmarked near their goal (I was wearing a Charlton top!)

    Sorry for laughing but I just did.

  • "Ref you are fucking shit"...followed by a yellow card
  • ONE OF YOU!!!!

    PUT A NAME ON IT!
  • "DONT JUST LOOK AT HIM, TACKLE HIM!"

    or

    "STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM YOU TART!"
  • As a bunch of psychos are about to give you a kicking

    "Don't get involved lads. Concentrate on you're own game"
  • Playing a team of wimps

    "Dont have that Tel, let's see how he likes it"
  • 'Get stuck in or else you are you are gonna get hurt'...........'oops ref, sub ref, ref sub'
  • Best one I heard was as we were coming off at half-time the manager called over, "I want you to go to the doctors first thing Monnday"

    What you on about gaffer?

    For that allergy, you must be f**king allergic to that ball because I haven't seen you go near it once.
  • "Keep it on the deck!"
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  • Dizzle said:

    'IVE GOT TWO HERE!!!' meaning your only marking one but if he scores then you've got yourself well covered.

    we had a lot of fun with that one as we had a striker with only one ear. A lot of thought went into the nickname Danny One Ear

    I have played against him a few times already this season. He used to be a striker right? He is playing centre back this season
    Yep. Arrived with me a centre forward, few years of my intense coaching and he ended up left back ! he's a good lad.

    Yeah he is a decent fella. Slightly mental though. The ball went into a load of bushes, all sorts of stinging nettles and thorns. He just strolled right in there. Came out with a load of puncture wounds and sting nettle rashes. Had to change his shirt due to the blood and bandage up his hand. Nutter
  • Normally met with a wall of silence

    "who's doing the kit this week"'
  • edited November 2013
    Danny One Ear sounds like the amateur equivalent of Yann, the sort of bloke you want on your side :0)
  • Dizzle said:

    Dizzle said:

    'IVE GOT TWO HERE!!!' meaning your only marking one but if he scores then you've got yourself well covered.

    we had a lot of fun with that one as we had a striker with only one ear. A lot of thought went into the nickname Danny One Ear

    I have played against him a few times already this season. He used to be a striker right? He is playing centre back this season
    Yep. Arrived with me a centre forward, few years of my intense coaching and he ended up left back ! he's a good lad.

    Yeah he is a decent fella. Slightly mental though. The ball went into a load of bushes, all sorts of stinging nettles and thorns. He just strolled right in there. Came out with a load of puncture wounds and sting nettle rashes. Had to change his shirt due to the blood and bandage up his hand. Nutter
    Ha, that's him all over. He's got so many scars he looks like he's been attacked by a shark.

  • 'THAT'S IT...WORK THE LINE' after about 4 shit throwins and 10 yards gained.
  • Superb - laughing my pieces off at work reading this.

    Reminds me of when I used to keep goal behind a spectacularly slow centre-back. Nearly every week the oppo would say to their striker something like 'just knock it past him - he's towing a caravan!'

    Got so bad that during one particularly bad week of being outpaced repeatedly, our exasperated coach shouted from the touchline 'FFS Chris, put the f*****g piano down and get after the f****r!'

    Chris got sent off later that match.
  • "no bounce"

    "seconds"

    "winners"

    "Eagles" everytime the ball gets hoofed forward
  • Loving this thread wish I could add something original and funny that hasn't already been posted.
  • You're not good enough to wear white boots
    (Although this was my mate to Jason Euell about three games into his career with us)
  • After game: Come on, lads, give us a hand. I put the nets up.
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