Overlapping full back to his new winger team mate; 'GIVE IT, GIVE IT, FFS GIVE IT' .........'SH*T, COVER ME, COVER ME, SHORTEST ROUTE TO GOAL YOU PLANK'! 'NEXT TIME I ASK FOR IT GIVE IT EARLY FFS'
Free kick against 'HOLD A LINE, HOLD A LINE, 18 YARD BOX'! 'WALK EM, LET'S WALK EM'......(keeper collects) RIGHT OUT, OOOOOOUT, HALF WAY LINE LET'S GO'
Joining my first Sunday team this week first training session coming up, by fit at all so won't play for a whole just train but reading this looks like I got quite a bit to look forward too
Really funny thread :-) "MARTINNNN'SSSS BALLL!!!" yelled every time a cross threatened the defence. Unfortunately, a lot of the time it wasn't.
Had a fella that didn't start playing football till his mid 20s. First time he come he said he played on the wing, but he was a 6"3 born centre half that just had to learn playing as a centre half. Had he played as a kid he would have gone far.
He didn't have a clue about talking your way through a game, quiet as a mouse and I used to coach him through a game. Always banging on at him to 'put his name on it' etc.
I remember a big goalie kick out, I'm sweeping behind him getting him t go for the header "make sure you put ya name on it"
"Jim's ball" he sort of shouted in a posh, non-football voice
He's headed it straight up in the air, so I've given it "and again Jimbo"
And in an even more well spoken voice than the first time he shouted "Jim's ball AGAIN".
Probably not funny unless you were there, but it was the most out of place call I've ever heard, still makes me chuckle now.
Full back to his fancy dan winger team mate repelling an attacker, 'JOCKEY, JOCKEY, NO FOUL, NO FOUL, NOW UNLOAD HIM, HARDER! Edit: Not directed at you AFKA, all names are fictitious characters :0)
"WHEN IN DOUBT KICK IT AHHHHHT!!" I'm guilty of "suggesting" that to 11 year old boys in the school team who fancy trying to dribble it out of danger from the goal line :-) Getting it out wide: "ONE MORE!!! ONE MORE!....ONE TOO MANY!!" ( it's gone into touch)
Comments
Man on.
'GIVE IT, GIVE IT, FFS GIVE IT' .........'SH*T, COVER ME, COVER ME, SHORTEST ROUTE TO GOAL YOU PLANK'! 'NEXT TIME I ASK FOR IT GIVE IT EARLY FFS'
The strikers 'we never got anything from the midfield'.
"MARTINNNN'SSSS BALLL!!!" yelled every time a cross threatened the defence.
Unfortunately, a lot of the time it wasn't.
"'OW MANY MORE TIMES REF?"
"LADS, GET OFF THE REF'S BACK. PLAY YOU'RE OWN GAME"
"REFFFFF, YOU'RE AVIN A F***IN LAUGH. YOU'RE A F***IN JOKE MATE"
"WE AINT GONNA GET F*** ALL HERE LADS"
"Jim, you have the 8, Rob you have the big lad, WHOSE MARKING SQUEAKY?"
"DONT GIVE UP LADS, TREAT IT AS FITNESS"
"PLAY THE WAY YOUR FACING"
finger under the nose of the goalie after its been in your crack
keeps smell ya sister
He didn't have a clue about talking your way through a game, quiet as a mouse and I used to coach him through a game. Always banging on at him to 'put his name on it' etc.
I remember a big goalie kick out, I'm sweeping behind him getting him t go for the header "make sure you put ya name on it"
"Jim's ball" he sort of shouted in a posh, non-football voice
He's headed it straight up in the air, so I've given it "and again Jimbo"
And in an even more well spoken voice than the first time he shouted "Jim's ball AGAIN".
Probably not funny unless you were there, but it was the most out of place call I've ever heard, still makes me chuckle now.
Right I should start a netball thread.
"I'm gonna have to sit down gaffer, I feel sick and I think I'm gonna pass out.............you got a spare fag boss"
'JOCKEY, JOCKEY, NO FOUL, NO FOUL, NOW UNLOAD HIM, HARDER!
Edit: Not directed at you AFKA, all names are fictitious characters :0)
"LEAP LIKE A SALMON STEVE! LEAP LIKE A SALMON!"
"on him, on him, on him, get him, get him, get him"
Just f*** in levver it
Get tight Tel son, right up his arse
Love this thread!!!
I'm guilty of "suggesting" that to 11 year old boys in the school team who fancy trying to dribble it out of danger from the goal line :-)
Getting it out wide:
"ONE MORE!!! ONE MORE!....ONE TOO MANY!!" ( it's gone into touch)