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The Best Advice You Were Ever Given

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Comments

  • Ormiston_Addick
    Ormiston_Addick Posts: 8,813
    "Never be afraid to ask out even the most gorgeous woman at a party - chances are the rest of the blokes are too terrified to go near her so your bravery will reap rewards."

    Have been married for 17 years so have not tried this for a while but used it a few times way back when and there was a LOT of truth in it.

    No, you are not going to win every time with the Claudia Scheiffer lookalike, but you will do much better than you think because girls in that part of the market scare plenty of blokes off.
  • Chunes
    Chunes Posts: 17,405
    edited November 2013
    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,204
    ShootersHillGuru said:

    Assume everyone is a c*nt until proven otherwise.

    This

  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,754
    Ormiston Addick said:

    "Never be afraid to ask out even the most gorgeous woman at a party - chances are the rest of the blokes are too terrified to go near her so your bravery will reap rewards."

    Goes a long with the one I was told.

    "Might as well had, as wished you had."
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,754
    There are two ways to do a job, the hard and the easy way. WhyTF do it the hard way.

  • PeanutsMolloy
    PeanutsMolloy Posts: 6,726
    Beware of unintended consequences.
  • Carter
    Carter Posts: 14,271
    Nothing worth having is ever given away
  • Shag
    Shag Posts: 4,555
    Look after your broom
  • Stone
    Stone Posts: 3,026
    Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
  • DamoNorthStand
    DamoNorthStand Posts: 10,959
    Stone said:

    Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
    Think the clues in the post.......

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  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,715
    Shag said:

    Look after your broom

    And your Broom will look after you
  • PeanutsMolloy
    PeanutsMolloy Posts: 6,726
    Sound advice from PJ O'Rourke: Don't vote - it just encourages the bastards.
  • smudge7946
    smudge7946 Posts: 4,131
    Smoking makes you cool.
    Swearing makes you big and clever.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,632
    Waynkinj maykis yoor eyesight pour
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,891
    You're really not that important at all; its what you do that counts
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,891
    Don't get caught
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    Stone said:

    Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
    Brilliant.

  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,385
    always eat your greens
  • PeanutsMolloy
    PeanutsMolloy Posts: 6,726
    The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing......if you can fake that you've got it made.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,125
    Back in the 80's, my mate told me to invest in Oil companies who had links with Russia. He worked in the oil industry and said there we're billions and billions of barrels of untapped reserves under Siberia just waiting to come to the surface. Needless to say he invested and I didn't and that's why I'm potless and he lives in a massive house in Wimbledon Village.

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  • boggzy
    boggzy Posts: 3,596
    Thinking too much is dumb
  • Stone
    Stone Posts: 3,026
    I nearly forgot. Buy GOLD!

    love and peace x
  • Amos on the wing
    Amos on the wing Posts: 1,802
    O-Randy-Hunt said:

    Shag said:

    Look after your broom

    And your Broom will look after you
    No no just look after your broom Dave....
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    When meeting a woman for the first time, let her ramble on about her ideal man then become that person. Your chance of having a long term meaningful relationship with this woman is zero, but at least you'll be guaranteed a shag.
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,621
    If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    I've just invented this one.

    If you can't sell yourself, improve the product.
  • MattTeesHeader
    MattTeesHeader Posts: 624
    Never run for a bus or a woman as there is usually another one coming along behind.
  • PJW1
    PJW1 Posts: 140
    My father told me, " son if you discover football like a religion when you are 39 .....................Don't smoke in the toilets"
  • EdgeleyAddick
    EdgeleyAddick Posts: 939
    edited November 2013
    Don't fall asleep on the last train.

    Support your local team (unless it's Palace, as in my case)

    Wearing a Charlton coat is way cooler than Chelsea, Arsenal or Manure.
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,621
    Treat every day as if your last, because one day you'll be right.

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