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The Best Advice You Were Ever Given

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  • "Never be afraid to ask out even the most gorgeous woman at a party - chances are the rest of the blokes are too terrified to go near her so your bravery will reap rewards."

    Have been married for 17 years so have not tried this for a while but used it a few times way back when and there was a LOT of truth in it.

    No, you are not going to win every time with the Claudia Scheiffer lookalike, but you will do much better than you think because girls in that part of the market scare plenty of blokes off.
  • edited November 2013
    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.
  • Assume everyone is a c*nt until proven otherwise.

    This

  • "Never be afraid to ask out even the most gorgeous woman at a party - chances are the rest of the blokes are too terrified to go near her so your bravery will reap rewards."

    Goes a long with the one I was told.

    "Might as well had, as wished you had."
  • There are two ways to do a job, the hard and the easy way. WhyTF do it the hard way.

  • Beware of unintended consequences.
  • Nothing worth having is ever given away
  • Look after your broom
  • Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
  • Stone said:

    Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
    Think the clues in the post.......
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  • Shag said:

    Look after your broom

    And your Broom will look after you
  • Sound advice from PJ O'Rourke: Don't vote - it just encourages the bastards.
  • Smoking makes you cool.
    Swearing makes you big and clever.
  • Waynkinj maykis yoor eyesight pour
  • You're really not that important at all; its what you do that counts
  • Don't get caught
  • Stone said:

    Chunes said:

    Three words - Don’t be an idiot.

    Changed my life.

    That's 4 and nearly 5!
    Brilliant.

  • always eat your greens
  • The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing......if you can fake that you've got it made.
  • Back in the 80's, my mate told me to invest in Oil companies who had links with Russia. He worked in the oil industry and said there we're billions and billions of barrels of untapped reserves under Siberia just waiting to come to the surface. Needless to say he invested and I didn't and that's why I'm potless and he lives in a massive house in Wimbledon Village.
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  • Thinking too much is dumb
  • I nearly forgot. Buy GOLD!

    love and peace x
  • Shag said:

    Look after your broom

    And your Broom will look after you
    No no just look after your broom Dave....
  • When meeting a woman for the first time, let her ramble on about her ideal man then become that person. Your chance of having a long term meaningful relationship with this woman is zero, but at least you'll be guaranteed a shag.
  • If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
  • I've just invented this one.

    If you can't sell yourself, improve the product.
  • Never run for a bus or a woman as there is usually another one coming along behind.
  • My father told me, " son if you discover football like a religion when you are 39 .....................Don't smoke in the toilets"
  • edited November 2013
    Don't fall asleep on the last train.

    Support your local team (unless it's Palace, as in my case)

    Wearing a Charlton coat is way cooler than Chelsea, Arsenal or Manure.
  • Treat every day as if your last, because one day you'll be right.
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