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The Best Advice You Were Ever Given

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  • if you can't fight .. wear a big hat
  • I was once told by a drunken man that 'a fannies a fanny. It doesn't matter what's wrapped around it'.

    Life got a lot better thereafter.
  • Stone said:

    I nearly forgot. Buy GOLD!

    love and peace x

    You little tinker.

  • Always use the right tool for the job !
  • An if you meet my mate Neil

    Never lend him any money
    Never let him move in your house.
  • Don't shag her she's got the clap
  • Me old grandad always said to me,

    "If you ain't in bed by 9 o'clock boy, come home!"
  • By my late Dad, best advice I ever got, 'engage brain before opening gob'. I swear by it.
  • never eat yellow snow
  • Never whistle when you're pissing
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  • Probably not relevant these days but never ever join in and try to assist if someone is pissing a cigarette butt along the urinal trough towards the drain end.
  • Measure twice, cut once.

    A cheesy one courtesy of Del Griffith that I think is true: Like your work, love your wife.
  • Saga Lout said:

    Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking. Take control of your emotions - nobody can make you feel a certain way - you decide how to react to what life throws at you.

    Post of the thread...You're not a musician by any chance?

    I am a musician - how did you guess???
  • edited November 2013
    Saga Lout said:

    Saga Lout said:

    Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking. Take control of your emotions - nobody can make you feel a certain way - you decide how to react to what life throws at you.

    Post of the thread...You're not a musician by any chance?

    I am a musician - how did you guess???

    Because no matter how badly or well you play you can always improve, and the challenge's music brings will push you for all your life. The majority of my friends are musicians and/or writers, arty types and to the man have this positive attitude. When someone records in my studio and gets it right, the whole place buzzes and the congratulations and support are genuine. If I were an accountant I'm guessing I would rarely if ever encounter this kind of positivity.

    ps. I'm a pretty crap musician...but I'm better crap than I was a year ago :-)
  • never give a s***er an even break
  • A 1 at the sides won't be as short as you think.
  • 1 in the stink is worth 2 in the pink
  • 1 in the stink is worth 2 in the pink

    Classless...but made me laugh :-)

  • 1 in the stink is worth 2 in the pink

    One up the bum, no harm done
  • All women fart when they're married.
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  • All women fart when they're married.

    I must have got all the early starters then.

  • All women fart when they're married.

    Mine just said "I do"
  • Many years ago, a national newspaper posing as a schoolboy wrote spoof letters to celebs of the day asking them for their best piece of advice. Brian cough replied saying "my advice young man, if you expect a reply to a letter, you should enclose a stamp-addressed-envelope."
  • Brian Clough even.....
  • Never throw up into the wind.
  • Don't knock it till you've tried it
  • Don't knock it till you've tried it

    Sorry, that wasn't in answer to yours Vienna :-)

  • We all make mistakes but the definition of a fool is to make the same mistake twice!
  • 2. Some people are so rude, discourteous to others, purely consumed in themselves. Feel like we live in a horrible, selfish and nasty world at times. I always try and be with people how i would want to be treated in return. If its not replicated, their card is marked.

    To my mind there has always been horrible, selfish and nasty people going back to year zero - it's all part of human behaviour where the battle between right and wrong, good and evil will constantly be fought.
  • edited November 2013

    Don't knock it till you've tried it

    Sorry, that wasn't in answer to yours Vienna :-)

    Thanks mate...you've started the missus off now. She's sitting on the kitchen floor laughing like a hyena, probably pissed herself as well! And your repair post was too frigging late as I'd already gone into the garden and tried it!

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