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General things that Please you

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  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?
  • Fiiish
    Fiiish Posts: 7,998
    Greenie said:

    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?

    This reads like a Viz letter.
  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,127
    Greenie said:

    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?

    Stay classy, Greenie :wink:
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

    Greenie said:

    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?

    Stay classy, Greenie :wink:
    You know you'll give it a go........
  • bbob
    bbob Posts: 550
    Greenie said:

    Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

    Greenie said:

    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?

    Stay classy, Greenie :wink:
    You know you'll give it a go........
    just tried it, had to change trousers afterwards and only made 6 steps before it all went a bit wrong
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    bbob said:

    Greenie said:

    Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

    Greenie said:

    Farting every step when walking up the stairs, I think my record is about 8, can any lifer do better?

    Stay classy, Greenie :wink:
    You know you'll give it a go........
    just tried it, had to change trousers afterwards and only made 6 steps before it all went a bit wrong
    Im still Champion then......excellent start to the weekend..
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,672
    Photos that could educate Alanis Morrisette on the meaning of ironic.

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/hilarious-photos-show-real-meaning-8653467
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,588
    edited August 2016
    My daughter getting GCSE results today:
    1 A*, 7 A, 2 B & 1 C + she took 2 early and got 2 As
    One of the Bs she had ready an A. .

    Gets her good looks and her brains from me. I know Mrs GA doesn't read this site.


    PROUD DAD.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    guinnessaddick said:

    My daughter getting GCSE results today:
    1 A*, 7 A, 2 B & 1 C.
    One of the Bs she had ready an A.

    Gets her good looks and her brains from me. I know Mrs GA doesn't read this site.

    Congratulations to both you and your daughter @GuinnessAddick
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    Executing a perfect fart. I was in the sea this afternoon with my wife and daughter and felt one (a big one) coming on. Swam past them and carfully lifted my arse out before letting rip. I managed to get it just right. Out enough to get the noise but just under the surface to make the water bubble up. I really should know better at my age but my daughter thought it was hysterical, my wife less so.
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  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,588
    DaveMehmet said:

    Executing a perfect fart. I was in the sea this afternoon with my wife and daughter and felt one (a big one) coming on. Swam past them and carfully lifted my arse out before letting rip. I managed to get it just right. Out enough to get the noise but just under the surface to make the water bubble up. I really should know better at my age but my daughter thought it was hysterical, my wife less so.

    You've changed your tune since last week.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    guinnessaddick said:

    DaveMehmet said:

    Executing a perfect fart. I was in the sea this afternoon with my wife and daughter and felt one (a big one) coming on. Swam past them and carfully lifted my arse out before letting rip. I managed to get it just right. Out enough to get the noise but just under the surface to make the water bubble up. I really should know better at my age but my daughter thought it was hysterical, my wife less so.

    You've changed your tune since last week.
    Too right. Last week I wouldn't have even trusted coughing without sitting on the bog.
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,417
    DaveMehmet said:

    Executing a perfect fart. I was in the sea this afternoon with my wife and daughter and felt one (a big one) coming on. Swam past them and carfully lifted my arse out before letting rip. I managed to get it just right. Out enough to get the noise but just under the surface to make the water bubble up. I really should know better at my age but my daughter thought it was hysterical, my wife less so.

    You were spotted.......... ;)image
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    edited August 2016
    Doing the VIP check in service at the airport on our way home. Cost us £40 each but worth every penny. Cleared passport control and security checks in 10 minutes and sat in an air conditioned lounge. Antalya airport is carnage, they were queuing out the door when we arrived. An added bonus was that we pissed a German family off by being taken to the front of the passport check queue.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    The sight of the outlaws rear lights disappearing down the drive and out the gate at 6 this morning.

    5 days of just me and the dogs.
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,672
    Bexleyheath twins, conjoined at birth and not expected to live ... now about to start school
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Watching our latest batch of little hatchlins sunbathing with mother hen...

    They'd better get use to it coz where they're going gets a lot hotter than this
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    edited September 2016
    Going to get my new van Peugeot boxer

    Maximover XLWB lowloader with air suspension can't wait to get the beast on the road and earning back it's money

    See you at 4pm Maximover
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    nth london addick said:

    Going to get my new van Peugeot boxer

    Maximover XLWB lowloader with air suspension can't wait to get the beast on the road and earning back it's money

    See you at 4pm Maximover

    Mate, you know you're getting old when you get excited over a Peugeot van.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
    Raith_C_Chattonell said:

    Bexleyheath twins, conjoined at birth and not expected to live ... now about to start school

    Bit unusual to be joined at the hand.
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  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    DaveMehmet said:

    nth london addick said:

    Going to get my new van Peugeot boxer

    Maximover XLWB lowloader with air suspension can't wait to get the beast on the road and earning back it's money

    See you at 4pm Maximover

    Mate, you know you're getting old when you get excited over a Peugeot van.
    Not wrong mate even worse when all the way home you think what a great move it was putting the restricter on and not allowing it to go over 70mph then, think it's really good on fuel consumption

    Or the fact it's 4.5 metres long just the body and 2.7 mtrs in height

    And how much you can fit in

    Don't get me started on the fact it's got air bags so I can lower it to 11 inches off the floor. And then raise it up to 3 ft when loaded

    What a machine
  • Floyd Montana
    Floyd Montana Posts: 3,730
    Newly renovated remote service station toilets.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
    edited September 2016
    Floyd Montana said:

    Newly renovated remote service station toilets.

    image
  • LuckyReds
    LuckyReds Posts: 5,866
    Floyd Montana said:

    Newly renovated remote service station toilets.

    image
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited September 2016
    Floyd Montana said:

    Newly renovated remote service station toilets.

    .
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,417
    Telling Webuyanycar to shove it after their £5750 offer became £3600 on seeing the car last Friday. Selling the same car for £7000 a week later.... :)
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    When you car passes the MOT.
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    Big van big man 8)
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,943
    nth london addick said:

    Big van big man 8)

    Why was Tom Kerridge with your van?
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    I ate Tom the skinny fuck

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