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You know you're getting old when.

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  • edited April 2020
    When you take a lot of care kicking a football to make sure nothing 'goes' and you end up in an embarrassing heap on the ground.
  • When the hardest thing you do all day is put your socks on.
  • Stig said:
    When you do what I've just done and quite literally go grey in a day. All my adult life I've had light brown hair that's gone blonde with prolonged exposure to sunlight. In recent years it's been thinning on top and greying around the edges, but nothing too bad for a man of my years. Today I sat in the garden all afternoon. When I came in, I looked in the mirror expecting to be greeted by a sun-tanned norse god (surely I'm allowed a bit of poetic licence in my own dreams) only to see Rowley Birkin's long lost twin staring back at me. Rather than turning my hair a pleasant and stylish lighter shade, it's just bleached all the life out of it. I shall be scared to go to sleep now in case I wake up with dentures and an alcoholic's nose.
    Were you very, very drunk? 
  • Me? With my reputation!
  • When you round your age up by a year because you can't remember for sure.
  • When you get pissed off at next doors granddaughter in her late 20s early 30s who has had a continuous stream of visitors throughout the lockdown decides to have 10/15 pals round yesterday for a barbecue. The steady waft of cigarette smoke into our lounge meant closing our windows until the coastal breeze changed direction which coincidentally was the exact same time as I groomed all of our dogs........ Mwaahahahah
  • ...........your own farts start to smell dodgy
  • ...........your own farts start to smell dodgy
    That decomposition! 😉
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  • Macauley Culkin turns 40.
  • Stig said:
    Macauley Culkin turns 40.
    😱....
  • You refer impolitely to an aggressive old woman as an ‘old bag’ and realise a) you haven’t used the term for years b) she is the same age as you 
  • iainment said:
    Half way through a bath you’re planning how to get out of the tub.



    I'm getting to the stage where a crash mat alongside the bath is starting to look like a sensible precaution. But then, my baths are generally an hour and a half and involve copious alcohol consumption.
  • Didn’t they win the league only using 14 players ? 
  • You start making your Christmas card list in October.
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  • limeygent said:
    You start making your Christmas card list in October.
    I must be ancient as I’m writing mine out this week obviously by ordered by she Who must be obeyed, her theory is that we might be locked down, won’t accept my counter argument that if we are locked down then we will have plenty of time to do them. I given up and for a peaceful life and to get my Sunday lunch I’m going along with her plan,
  • iainment said:
    You can remember beds made with sheets, blankets and bedspreads.

    And then the arrival of continental quilts. 

    And then continental quilts being renamed as duvets.

    Also life before fitted sheets.
    Old army blankets when I was a child
  • ross1 said:
    iainment said:
    You can remember beds made with sheets, blankets and bedspreads.

    And then the arrival of continental quilts. 

    And then continental quilts being renamed as duvets.

    Also life before fitted sheets.
    Old army blankets when I was a child
    Remember those too, they were a bit like sandpaper.
  • Standing in Curry's reading an ad about an app that allows you to see in your fridge whilst you are out via your mobile phone......................WTF?
  • How you going to see with the light off?
  • iaitch said:
    How you going to see with the light off?
    No idea but the graphic clearly showed the inside the fridge. Maybe you have to call home and get someone to open the door first before activating the app  ;)
  • When you forget how old you are.
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