We work in large open plan offices here in the city, so Partners and Directors have desks around us peasant folk.
One Friday evening late after some drinks 2 of our young frisky colleagues went back to the office for a quickie over the Partners desk. What they didn't realise was, they were spotted! Nothing was said until the Monday when the Partner came in and chucked some wet wipes at them, and asked them to clean his desk. Both of them went bright red and attempted to splutter an excuse...... the whole floor went silent because none of us had a clue what went on previousely.
It took a good week of digging for us to finally find out what happened, and safe to say that was never lived down! The Partner is a bit of a sly old dog himself so he took it well.
On another occasion we found some lacy black knickers in the store room. It really is rampant at times here.
We work in large open plan offices here in the city, so Partners and Directors have desks around us peasant folk.
One Friday evening late after some drinks 2 of our young frisky colleagues went back to the office for a quickie over the Partners desk. What they didn't realise was, they were spotted! Nothing was said until the Monday when the Partner came in and chucked some wet wipes at them, and asked them to clean his desk. Both of them went bright red and attempted to splutter an excuse...... the whole floor went silent because none of us had a clue what went on previousely.
It took a good week of digging for us to finally find out what happened, and safe to say that was never lived down! The Partner is a bit of a sly old dog himself so he took it well.
On another occasion we found some lacy black knickers in the store room. It really is rampant at times here.
I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
Same here, worked with this fella for 15 years then turns up one day in full make up skimpy shorts high heeled boots and now wants to be treated as non gender specific , I work in security and he has now requested a female uniform .
Quite a bit of this goes on , i worked with a Mark on Friday, who became Emma on the following Monday.
Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.
He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.
One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.
Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.
He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!
Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'
So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used
On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed
No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping
Totally nuts !!!
Fat chance those parts will have been in storage beyond the next weekend, they'll all have been quickly & quietly fenced off with the cash trousered by a select few.
We work in large open plan offices here in the city, so Partners and Directors have desks around us peasant folk.
One Friday evening late after some drinks 2 of our young frisky colleagues went back to the office for a quickie over the Partners desk. What they didn't realise was, they were spotted! Nothing was said until the Monday when the Partner came in and chucked some wet wipes at them, and asked them to clean his desk. Both of them went bright red and attempted to splutter an excuse...... the whole floor went silent because none of us had a clue what went on previousely.
It took a good week of digging for us to finally find out what happened, and safe to say that was never lived down! The Partner is a bit of a sly old dog himself so he took it well.
On another occasion we found some lacy black knickers in the store room. It really is rampant at times here.
Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.
He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.
One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.
Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.
He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!
Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'
So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used
On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed
No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping
Totally nuts !!!
Fat chance those parts will have been in storage beyond the next weekend, they'll all have been quickly & quietly fenced off with the cash trousered by a select few.
True - would you like to buy a Bedford truck engine from the late 70's - I've got loads of the bloody things .....
We work in large open plan offices here in the city, so Partners and Directors have desks around us peasant folk.
One Friday evening late after some drinks 2 of our young frisky colleagues went back to the office for a quickie over the Partners desk. What they didn't realise was, they were spotted! Nothing was said until the Monday when the Partner came in and chucked some wet wipes at them, and asked them to clean his desk. Both of them went bright red and attempted to splutter an excuse...... the whole floor went silent because none of us had a clue what went on previousely.
It took a good week of digging for us to finally find out what happened, and safe to say that was never lived down! The Partner is a bit of a sly old dog himself so he took it well.
On another occasion we found some lacy black knickers in the store room. It really is rampant at times here.
I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
Same here, worked with this fella for 15 years then turns up one day in full make up skimpy shorts high heeled boots and now wants to be treated as non gender specific , I work in security and he has now requested a female uniform .
Quite a bit of this goes on , i worked with a Mark on Friday, who became Emma on the following Monday.
At the same company as above, a porn magazine was discovered from the mid 70’s of one of the women in a department and her husband in all their glory doing the beast with the two backs, she denied everything, although he still had the same beard (hippy couple) and her prominent moles all matched
Strangest thing happened the other day, got a phone calll from my brother (he worked there for a while as well) “Do you remember ***** from work and the porn magazine etc” I said yes, only talked about it the other day on CL etc, he says, just bumped into her son who said to me “you know my mum” Embarrassed hello and shuffled off quickly.
I worked in Poland in its pre EU days when it was still a little like the wild west
we were working on getting government contracts and our most important contact was an absolute nightmare, an alcoholic with a penchant for ladies of the night- the most difficult part of dealing with him was just keeping him on the straight and narrow so that he would actually turn up for work and do what we needed him to
we would actually pay for him to have esperal implants to curb his drinking but when they weren't in place he would just go missing for days on end. we'd know he was in one of the city's many brothels, where he liked to hold meetings, but there were far too many for us to go searching for him so we'd just have to wait for a phone call. It usually came after about 2 or 3 days, a call asking us to come and collect our friend as he was very drunk and had run up a rather large bill, a bill which would continue rising the longer he remained there
A friend of mine slept with Tiger Woods, breaking up his marriage, got his wife so mad she ran Tiger into a tree, and he has never won a major since.
Didn’t happen
The tree story may or may not be real. But the sleeping with him part, the end of the marriage part when his wife saw the texts, and not winning a major since ALL happened.
Going to Amsterdam with work tomorrow for 3 days - I may well have something to add to this thread on my return.
Also going for a couple of days this week with work and taking along a client with us, are you going out for the ISE event? Hopefully I’ll come back with a story for this thread!
Going to Amsterdam with work tomorrow for 3 days - I may well have something to add to this thread on my return.
Also going for a couple of days this week with work and taking along a client with us, are you going out for the ISE event? Hopefully I’ll come back with a story for this thread!
Yes, for ISE mate. You may see me face down in a canal at some point.
Going to Amsterdam with work tomorrow for 3 days - I may well have something to add to this thread on my return.
Also going for a couple of days this week with work and taking along a client with us, are you going out for the ISE event? Hopefully I’ll come back with a story for this thread!
Yes, for ISE mate. You may see me face down in anal at some point.
Going to Amsterdam with work tomorrow for 3 days - I may well have something to add to this thread on my return.
Also going for a couple of days this week with work and taking along a client with us, are you going out for the ISE event? Hopefully I’ll come back with a story for this thread!
Yes, for ISE mate. You may see me face down in anal at some point.
Comments
**Edit, beaten to it**
Your round in a months time Al!
“Do you remember ***** from work and the porn magazine etc”
I said yes, only talked about it the other day on CL etc, he says, just bumped into her son who said to me “you know my mum”
Embarrassed hello and shuffled off quickly.
I worked in Poland in its pre EU days when it was still a little like the wild west
we were working on getting government contracts and our most important contact was an absolute nightmare, an alcoholic with a penchant for ladies of the night- the most difficult part of dealing with him was just keeping him on the straight and narrow so that he would actually turn up for work and do what we needed him to
we would actually pay for him to have esperal implants to curb his drinking but when they weren't in place he would just go missing for days on end. we'd know he was in one of the city's many brothels, where he liked to hold meetings, but there were far too many for us to go searching for him so we'd just have to wait for a phone call. It usually came after about 2 or 3 days, a call asking us to come and collect our friend as he was very drunk and had run up a rather large bill, a bill which would continue rising the longer he remained there
Taken me ages to read it all and I still seem to have missed Muttley's story!