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Weirdest thing a colleague has done

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  • T_C_E said:

    clb74 said:

    Although my story is not a weird thing that a colleague done, it is a great story about a colleague.

    In 1983 I was sharing an office with an Irish guy who was married and living in the ground floor flat at 23 Cranley Gardens, Muswell Hill, North London.

    For a couple of weeks he had been coming into work and complaining about the drains in the building. The problem was that there were three flats in the block and no resident was taking responsibility for the problem.

    A week or so later his wife rang him at work and told him that raw sewage and foul smelling water was lifting the inspection cover on the drain down their side path, directly underneath their window. Jim told her to get Dyno Rod or a plumber out to sort the problem, and he would speak to the other residents that evening regarding the bill.

    His wife rang him back that a plumber would be coming, but it wouldn’t be to the end of the day. As it was winter and it got dark by 4.30pm the plumber told her he might not be able to clear the blockage until the next day.

    The next day Jim comes in to work to tell me that the drains were still blocked, and the plumbers were coming back that morning to sort the problem, however something really weird happened last night.
    About 1.30am he heard a noise down his side path and he could hear the Inspection Cover of the drain being lifted. He said that Dennis a guy living in the top floor flat had gone out in middle of the night and had looked down the manhole with a torch. Is that bizarre or what?

    The next day was unbelievable.
    The first phone call from his wife, she says that the plumbers had arrived. They started clearing the blockage and that they had found some strange items down the drain.
    Remember this was before mobile phones, the plumber asks Jim’s wife to call the police and ask for a police car to be sent to the property. Jim asked what strange items have they found and his wife say’s the plumbers think they are human remains.

    The second phone call. The police arrive; they also believe the items are probably human.

    The third phone call. The police have arrived on mass. They have cordoned off the house and are searching all three properties within the building.

    The fourth phone call. The police searched Jim’s flat, and the flat on the middle floor.
    The police then told Jim’s wife that when they searched Dennis Nilsen’s flat on the top floor they found human remains stored in the flat.

    That evening when I left work it was headlines in the Evening News and Standard, and the main item on the BBC and ITV News.

    My colleague had been friends and a neighbour of Dennis Nielsen. The serial killer who killed between 12 and 18 men.

    There were a couple of footnotes to this story.
    As I have already mentioned this was before mobile phones. The following day Jim is back at work and he says, that evening there had been a knock on the door from an American TV News company. They had offered Jim and his wife £1,000 to allow them to be based in their flat, to let them have use of their telephone, and for Jim’s wife to keep them supplied with hot drinks and sandwiches throughout the day.

    We were both earning about £175 per week at the time so this was a lot of money. Jim turned this offer down and said that he wasn’t interested. The house next door accepted the offer.

    Jim, and Dennis Nilsen both owned dogs. Some evening they would walk their dogs together.
    When the police broke into Nilsen’s flat they found his dog. Jim’s wife offered to look after the dog, which the police agreed to.
    After a couple of weeks the police turned up and removed the dog. They told them that Nilsen had been feeding the dog human flesh (presumably he admitted this) and Jim said that the dog was going to be put down.

    How can this be the winner dickies colleague wasn't Nilsen.
    Next it will be my colleagues mates brothers girlfriends sisters dog was best mates with bin laden
    My dogs sister, is Sailor Brown's daughters dog. ;)
    That should have been your user name!
  • An ex-colleague of mine worked with Nielsen in a job centre.
  • I quite liked Nielsen as a singer
  • edited January 2018
    Not wanting to trump Billericays Dickies serial killer colleagues escapade, nor shall I. My good friend who I’ve known for many years and once worked with had as a brother in law the Camden Ripper.
    I won’t go into details other than say, the tv documentary didn’t scratch the surface of the evil man deeds.

    On a brighter note, people on here know/are some really weird people.
  • Dammit wish I could read it!
  • Curb_It said:

    As soon as I read the address I knew where this was going. One thing, after his wife’s fourth phone call did Jim not think it was time to head home?

    What a story.

    Yes Drains & Muswell Hill, I knew where this story was going, a great (interesting) read though
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  • Another nutty old fella I worked with when I was an apprentice, I'll call him Albert.He was a spark and in his late fifties and notoriously tight.
    Albert had been hoovering up cheap employee shares like they were going out of fashion. You could pick them up for around £2 a pop and Albert had so many he was listed along with the directors as a major shareholder.
    The company was sold and the buyers offered a dividend of just under £100 a share!
    Loads of fellas I worked with made a fair few quid but the word around site was that Albert must be on for £1 million +.
    So imagine our surprise later that week when driving around site we see Albert's van parked up alongside a recently demolished out building and Albert loading bricks from the rubble on to his van.

    " Not retired then yet Albert?"

    "Oh no. Few more years yet" he replied like a man just about managing to make ends meet.

    "And what's with the bricks?"

    "The old woman knocked the front wall down last summer trying to reverse on to the drive. Rebuilding it at the weekend!"

    Soppy old sod.

    Tight bastards - that's worth a thread too.
  • LuckyReds said:

    I was working for a company that had offices all over the UK, but I was firmly based out of Aldgate. I'd worked closely with the head of department (Rob) - based out of another office - to set up a new team and lay the foundations for the future. Needless to say, we ended up with a good professional relationship..

    I'd been offered a role elsewhere doing similar, and as I'd really enjoyed it, I opted to leave. So I email Rob and explained my situation, said that I was officially handing my notice in, and I was giving him the courtesy before I go to HR. Within a few minutes he'd replied asking me to turn up to a restaurant for lunch.

    I arrive at this nice restaurant, and he stuns me with how emotional he is; I knew we got on well, but he certainly never struck me as more than a co-worker. He begins to talk as though it's a break up - "I don't really mind when people move on; but I'm genuinely sad you're going." - and ultimately I told him that I'd stick it out for a bit longer.

    Within seconds of me saying this, he begins smiling and comes out with "That's great news, by the way - have you ever seen a prostitute?"; caught completely off guard, the best I could muster was "Erhh.. not professionally, Rob, no. Why do you ask?".

    Then came the response of "Ah, I'm really surprised - you should give it a go. Anyway, there's a brothel in my town y'see... I was chatting to the wife about it last night actually, I'm pretty curious.".

    So yeah, I guess the strangest thing a colleague has done is casually drop his penchant for prostitutes in to a working lunch discussing my resignation..

    That's usually the main topic of conversation during my business lunches!
  • LuckyReds said:

    I was working for a company that had offices all over the UK, but I was firmly based out of Aldgate. I'd worked closely with the head of department (Rob) - based out of another office - to set up a new team and lay the foundations for the future. Needless to say, we ended up with a good professional relationship..

    I'd been offered a role elsewhere doing similar, and as I'd really enjoyed it, I opted to leave. So I email Rob and explained my situation, said that I was officially handing my notice in, and I was giving him the courtesy before I go to HR. Within a few minutes he'd replied asking me to turn up to a restaurant for lunch.

    I arrive at this nice restaurant, and he stuns me with how emotional he is; I knew we got on well, but he certainly never struck me as more than a co-worker. He begins to talk as though it's a break up - "I don't really mind when people move on; but I'm genuinely sad you're going." - and ultimately I told him that I'd stick it out for a bit longer.

    Within seconds of me saying this, he begins smiling and comes out with "That's great news, by the way - have you ever seen a prostitute?"; caught completely off guard, the best I could muster was "Erhh.. not professionally, Rob, no. Why do you ask?".

    Then came the response of "Ah, I'm really surprised - you should give it a go. Anyway, there's a brothel in my town y'see... I was chatting to the wife about it last night actually, I'm pretty curious.".

    So yeah, I guess the strangest thing a colleague has done is casually drop his penchant for prostitutes in to a working lunch discussing my resignation..

    That's usually the main topic of conversation during my business lunches!
    Yeah but to be fair, you are a pimp.
  • Reading these has made my day at work, I generally feel like Ian Beale "I'VE GOT NOTHING,"
  • Reading these has made my day at work, I generally feel like Ian Beale "I'VE GOT NOTHING,"

    They say that if you haven't got a weird work colleague, then its you. Now's your chance to shine, and be tomorrow's story! Be careful though, the bar is almost slipping away from you. Know how to make a bomb filled with underwear?
  • McBobbin said:

    Reading these has made my day at work, I generally feel like Ian Beale "I'VE GOT NOTHING,"

    They say that if you haven't got a weird work colleague, then its you. Now's your chance to shine, and be tomorrow's story! Be careful though, the bar is almost slipping away from you. Know how to make a bomb filled with underwear?
    Oh shit.

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  • BDL said:

    Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.

    He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.

    One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.

    Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.

    He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!

    Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'

    So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used

    On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed

    No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping

    Totally nuts !!!
    Why do you think roads were resurfaced in March? Ah the days of underspends, remember them well!
  • BDL said:

    Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.

    He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.

    One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.

    Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.

    He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!

    Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'

    So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used

    On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed

    No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping

    Totally nuts !!!
    Lovely. Don't the public sector just love wasting the taxpayer's money.
  • edited February 2018
    There was the guy in the packing dept, of course, who covered absolutely EVERYTHING in his office with brown packaging tape, including his work bench,chair, pens, anything with a handle, including all the brooms, most of the door, and even his co worker, Frank, if he stayed still too long. But we all just thought he was just really, really keen on packing, and had found his ideal job.

  • Getting back to weirdness (rather than murderers), we found out that our new head of company was "given" a life manager, to help her cope with day-to-day events outside of work, paid for by the company! Once that was out in the open, she never lived it down...
  • BDL said:

    Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.

    He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.

    One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.

    Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.

    He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!

    Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'

    So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used

    On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed

    No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping

    Totally nuts !!!
    Lovely. Don't the public sector just love wasting the taxpayer's money.
    They do that in the legal world too, rack up massive bills otherwise the client accuses them of not protecting them properly
  • JamesSeed said:

    I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.

    Same here, worked with this fella for 15 years then turns up one day in full make up skimpy shorts high heeled boots and now wants to be treated as non gender specific , I work in security and he has now requested a female uniform .
  • BDL said:

    Best one I can come up with is one of my old bosses. He had overall budget responsibility for our department - about £6m per year - and, it being in Social Care, we'd always be overspent. This year we were about £2m overspent with about another £0.5m predicted by the end of the year. We had a plan to get it down, but with it being Social Care, that was never going to happen.

    He'd been on the end of a massive bollocking from top management and was pretty pissed off with us all.

    One morning we came into work and one of my colleagues had found an article from one of those weekly trashy magazines full of life stories, basically his wife had sold her story to the magazine. The story was about the fact that he couldn't be trusted to manage the household bills, was useless with money and she gave him his weekly allowance. Needless to say some staff, who had a gripe with him, photocopied and plastered the story all over the building. I remember seeing him storming around the entire building ripping them down and going redder than Mars, steam was literally coming out of his ears.

    Given the budget predicament it went down like Bobby Crush on an Oil Rig with the bosses and he was moved sideways shortly after.

    He's still married to her and he is actually a pretty decent bloke, but talk about timing! Certainly not in the Serial Killer league though. The closest I can come to that was being put on alert to bury Ronnie Biggs!

    Not a weird colleague story - but relative to budgets you mention - my Dad would tell me about the weird world of Civil Service budgets - he was MoD, and in the last few months leading up to the year end his bosses would get very excited if the Dept was UNDER budget, because if they came in under budget, there was a big risk that the next year budget would be cut because 'you clearly didn't need the money last year'

    So he would be told to spend money - on one of these occasions he ordered hundreds of spare engines from Bedford Trucks for trucks that were due to be discontinued in Army use within 12 months - result was they all went into storage never to be used

    On another occasion he had to order numerous different parts for various vehicles which were sent straight to a huge warehouse in Wiltshire to be stored - yet they all knew that the order was at least 5x larger than the Army ever needed

    No doubt lots of those parts are still in storage, in nice boxes and grease paper awaiting scrapping

    Totally nuts !!!
    Happens with MODs the world over I have been in the position of making my sales numbers half way through the year because of underspends. They are kind of damned if they do damned if they don't - the public they are ripping off by doing this would be very annoyed if the budget was light the next year and an important capability was missed - especially if the sun or the mail found out and splashed it.

    I've been to the depot in Wiltshire that you're talking about, it's vast and i too suspect the parts will be there still, somewhere.
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