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The Playing Golf Thread

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    managed to get a 8.35 tee at blakes epping way, doesn't sound the best but its a round. 
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    supaclive said:
    Just moved to Tier 4 in the announcement.  No visitors at our place.  Have managed to book Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday next two weeks.

    Beats wanking myself blind 
    Ever heard of multi-tasking  !
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    managed to get a 8.35 tee at blakes epping way, doesn't sound the best but its a round. 
    They advertise that buggies are in use throughout the Winter. Not a great course but better than nothing.
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    Played West Malling on 18th and the Spitfire Course was in an appalling state contrary to what the clubhouse had told us beforehand
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    mart77 said:
    Played West Malling on 18th and the Spitfire Course was in an appalling state contrary to what the clubhouse had told us beforehand
    Try Kings Hill, usually very good in winter, no winter tee's or greens.
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    Just back shot 97 so not the best
    trolleys are allowed but only on the path so can be a bit frustrating. Teed off at 8.25 and playing on frost only started thawing out towards end on road 

    not in fantastic nick but for £20 well worth but than the likes of cobtree and cray and probably chelsfield lakes.

    some Wankers decided to start playing as 4 balls which caused a back log and they were chucked off - as the Marshall explained, only 6 courses were open in Essex today and there’s 9 inspectors they were visited 7 times yesterday. And if breaching rules it’s a course shut down. 
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    Now doing personalised golf towels complete with eyelet to hook on bag, we can do golf club logo’s , football club logo’s , accommodate golf societies, or just the individual golfer who wants a photo on them, pm me if interested 
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    Hope people have managed to get some games lined up for the 29th onwards

    im booked for Warley Park on the 29th amd Redlibits for the 30th 

    looking forward to trying my new clubs. Took my 7 iron over to Barnehurst yesterday and was impressed with my grouping, distance and height I was getting 
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    Two four balls at princes on 1st April. Find the tee shot on the first one of the hardest so should be interesting having not swung a club for over 6 months.
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    Two four balls at princes on 1st April. Find the tee shot on the first one of the hardest so should be interesting having not swung a club for over 6 months.
    Which courses are you playing  ?
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    Two three’s at Blake’s in Epping on 2nd April. 

    Looks like they have a little island par 3 like Sawgrass. Should be fun. I’ll take a snorkel. 
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    Dizzle said:
    Two three’s at Blake’s in Epping on 2nd April. 

    Looks like they have a little island par 3 like Sawgrass. Should be fun. I’ll take a snorkel. 
    Yes they do it’s a fun course you’ll enjoy it 
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
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    magic1999 said:
    Dizzle said:
    Two three’s at Blake’s in Epping on 2nd April. 

    Looks like they have a little island par 3 like Sawgrass. Should be fun. I’ll take a snorkel. 
    Yes they do it’s a fun course you’ll enjoy it 
    Sounds good, cheers!
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    edited March 2021
    Booking goes live for tee times at SPGC on Monday, will try and get an afternoon round in for the 29th.

    Then I have 11 days off work from next Wednesday and intend to play pretty much every day. I can't wait to get back out there.
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Love stories like this, makes the winning so much better.

    One of my favourites was when I was playing in a friendly team match at Falmouth, I was paired with our captain so was 1st off. On the first two holes their captain leaves himself a couple of 3-4 foot putts, we think ‘well it’s only a friendly team comp, captain’s fourball, so we’ll give him them’. Come the third hole I’ve left myself a 3 footer which they make me putt. I put it away but stored it in the memory bank.

    We get to the 9th. His mate is out of the hole and, what do you know, he leaves himself a 3 footer for a half. He walks up to his ball to mark it looking pleadingly at us as he’s doing so. Me and skip look anywhere but at him so he marks it. When it’s his putt there is another slow walk to his ball and imploring look, we don’t give the putt and, you guessed it, he misses it. The bloke goes absolutely berserk with us insisting we should have given it, throwing clubs etc. etc. I politely advised him that the only way he could have proved us wrong was to sink the putt which also didn’t seem to go down to well.

    We did win our fourball and the remaining 9 holes/ meal after were anything but friendly.
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    magic1999 said:
    Dizzle said:
    Two three’s at Blake’s in Epping on 2nd April. 

    Looks like they have a little island par 3 like Sawgrass. Should be fun. I’ll take a snorkel. 
    Yes they do it’s a fun course you’ll enjoy it 
    I've booked to play Blakes on the 1st. I have played the course a few times before and not shot under 7 on that poxy island par 3. Any water, my ball just seems drawn to it.
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Love stories like this, makes the winning so much better.

    One of my favourites was when I was playing in a friendly team match at Falmouth, I was paired with our captain so was 1st off. On the first two holes their captain leaves himself a couple of 3-4 foot putts, we think ‘well it’s only a friendly team comp, captain’s fourball, so we’ll give him them’. Come the third hole I’ve left myself a 3 footer which they make me putt. I put it away but stored it in the memory bank.

    We get to the 9th. His mate is out of the hole and, what do you know, he leaves himself a 3 footer for a half. He walks up to his ball to mark it looking pleadingly at us as he’s doing so. Me and skip look anywhere but at him so he marks it. When it’s his putt there is another slow walk to his ball and imploring look, we don’t give the putt and, you guessed it, he misses it. The bloke goes absolutely berserk with us insisting we should have given it, throwing clubs etc. etc. I politely advised him that the only way he could have proved us wrong was to sink the putt which also didn’t seem to go down to well.

    We did win our fourball and the remaining 9 holes/ meal after were anything but friendly.
    I was at one time a fairly decent golfer - got to 12 handicap - then it all started going wrong with the yips, thinning wedges, a terrible hook with my driver - I had a choice, lessons, or pack it in - I chose the latter, because I was simply not enjoying the game anymore - now i just play for fun, and just laugh at my shit shots - when I was good I took it far too seriously, and as a result, when I started to develop all my problems, I wasn’t good company on the course

    One thing I did regularly in singles matches was to give putts early on in the round that really you shouldn’t give - then from (say) 8th hole onwards, I would stop giving putts completely - it was a risky strategy, particularly if they were good putters, but generally they were higher handicappers I would use it on, and as they hadn’t had to do any shortish putts until that point in the match, they would often melt and miss - really gets in their heads

    If people tried that on me, I would ignore them and putt anyway (unless it was right by the hole) - that way I was not falling into the trap
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    Feel for you guys, been playing for months in Edinburgh. Well when it wasn't covered in snow. 
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    Had this week off work so played every day, winter is definitely over here as been in the 30 degrees daily. Good news is the handicap is moving in the right direction, 11.2 now.

    After speaking with my old man he can't wait to get back out and play either. Hope you all enjoy your golf, it's been a long time coming.


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    Had this week off work so played every day, winter is definitely over here as been in the 30 degrees daily. Good news is the handicap is moving in the right direction, 11.2 now.

    After speaking with my old man he can't wait to get back out and play either. Hope you all enjoy your golf, it's been a long time coming.


    Looks a decent course - is it any good ?
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    dying to get back out there. Reckon I’ve completely forgot how to swing a club 
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    @Lordflashheart yeah its pretty good, although it has to be as there is only 2 courses in the country. Its Doha Golf Club which the european tour has used for years, but they now switched to the other course to show off one of the world cup stadiums next to it.
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    dying to get back out there. Reckon I’ve completely forgot how to swing a club 
    Perhaps a CL golf day is a decent idea - first prize, you get to be a CL Mod for a week (if a Mod wins it, they get to not be a Mod for a week) !!
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    @Lordflashheart yeah its pretty good, although it has to be as there is only 2 courses in the country. Its Doha Golf Club which the european tour has used for years, but they now switched to the other course to show off one of the world cup stadiums next to it.
    First hole par 5 which is 591 yards of the back tee - ouch - that would be driver, 3 wood, 5 wood for me, and I still wouldn’t be near the green !!!
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    Hitting the range to shake off the rust first weekend in April. Think it'd be unfair on the group behind to let me lose on a course right now
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    Unfortunately to to eye surgery I havent played for about 5 years. Made a New Years resolution last year to get & play again only for Covid to scupper things. Must get out again after Easter, but like the poster above I've not swung a golf club for ages.
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    As a member at Redlibbets and regular Thursday & Saturday player, I’ve booked 1April for my return. I’m getting the cab back on the road next week for the first time since beginning of January so need to clock up some work hours, otherwise I would be playing on the Monday. 
    Yesterday I had a call from the hospital asking if I would be available to take up a cancellation date to have an Op I’ve been waiting for since god knows when. I politely declined. Nothing is going to stop me getting back on the course. 
    I’m a self confessed “golf nut” so have been in bits during these lockdowns. I vow never to take it for granted again!
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Not sure of the exact R&A rules but I thought he had a choice of just not looking for it. And even if he did he would have to identify it as his. I've known a few players adamantly suggest that they were now playing with a Srixon when all round they were playing a Titleist when an errant tee shot was found deep in the undergrowth.

    I remember that "cheater" Mickleson hit a wayward drive in the desert once & the ball was last seen heading down a ravine into some very nasty scrub land. He played another & shouted quiet loudly that he didnt want any of the spectators rushing off trying to find his original ball. 
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    How’s the shoulder @Sillybilly?
    my mate has recently joined the green staff at Dartford GC. He says they haven’t done proper aeration of the greens for 3 years. They have now finished the first core and top dressed them so hopefully be playing well when you return. He also reckons the head green keeper is keen to lose the temporary greens in time👍🏻
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