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100 things you never knew about Ben Thatcher

135

Comments

  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    please take your lies elsewhere Ketman. This thread is for pure LOCKED ON, FACT. Sort of....
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    Ben Thatcher has won the mens singles title at Wimbledon on five consecutive occasions. His career earnings from tennis stand at $143m, give or take a few dollars.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher once dated Nicole from the Renault adverts, but was run out of town by her jealous papa. Who incedently is now servign a nine-year prison sentence for drug trafficing.
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Ben Thatcher was shagging Danielle Lloyd before Marcus Bent, before Teddy Sherringham and before.......
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher's power left foot is aided by the fact he has seven toes, and has to get a specially made boot imported from Colarado.
  • paulbaconsarnie
    paulbaconsarnie Posts: 9,423
    Ben Thatcher is a 'sound of music' fanatic.
    under the cover of darkness he dons his leiderhosen, travels to a secret outdoor location and sings every song in the film.
    i once heard him at the top of shooters hill bellowing out his personal favourite, 'high on a hill stood a lonely goat..........'
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,833
    It is a little known fact that Ben Thatcher is the only man ever recorded to achieve a 147 break in snooker, a 9-dart finish in darts, a hole in one in golf, a four minute mile and a 62 story tower in Jenga all on the same day. (The Jenga tower would've been at least 63 storeys high but a fly landed on the top and our Ben lost his rag, called it a "****ing dirty little s***-munching ****" and tried, unsuccessfully, to swat it with a copy of the Beano)
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    Ben Thatcher was Karl Howman's stand-in when he was appearing in Me and My Girl at the Adelphi Theatre in the Strand
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Ben Thatcher is a cleanliness obsessive ......but we've all seen his dirty tackle.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    In a drunken pre-season binge, Ben Thatcher stupidly risked both his career and indeed his life when he jumped off the roof of the Sparrows Lane training ground.

    Fortunately his fall was broken by a large chip resting on the shoulder of Marcus Bent, and Ben escaped with minor scratches, and an explicit earful from Marcus, who deep down had never forgot an incident in the previous season where a pass from Bent meant Marcus had to run all of two yards.
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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher once starred in an adult education video with Heather Mills. Following a second biting incident, a furious Ben threatened that if she did it again he would chop off her leg....
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    The local translation of 'Ben Thatcher' in Nepal is 'Boy Sunshine'
  • Algarveaddick
    Algarveaddick Posts: 21,142
    Ben Thatcher was world conker champion on two occasions, he lost a third final on a controversial "tangles" call. He has refused to go anywhere near the village of Ashton ever since.
  • JWADDICK
    JWADDICK Posts: 846
    Ben T Hatcher is the love child of Desperate Housewives, star Terri Hatcher. It is thought that he was forced to change his name by deed poll in order to protect his mother's reputation and that of the reputed father King Juan Carlos of Spain.
  • Sco
    Sco Posts: 2,623
    Ben Thatcher has taped every episode of Dawson's Creek, twice.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of British women lost their virginity to Ben Thatcher.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Ben Thatcher
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher can be found on Charlton Life, posting under the alias Cunning Stunt....
  • StanmoreAddick
    StanmoreAddick Posts: 4,150
    Ben Thatcher always gets his C's and S's muddled up
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher was once an extra on Eastenders, but only lasted for three episodes due to repeatedly shouting 'fat orange slag' at Jessie Wallace....

    come on, lets get 100 facts done.
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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher played Bungle for 32 episodes of Rainbow, and the voice is still his party piece at evening parties.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Whilst attempting to change his mortgage , Ben Thatcher broke the nose and smashed 3 teeth of the fat spectacled twat who smugly said to him 'brand new customers only'.
    On hearing this story, the Nationwide launched a successful marketing campaign, but only show the full violence in adverts broadcast in the Glasgow region.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Ben Thatcher as a teenager helped out on a dairy farm, but was shown the door gate after Daisy the Cow refused to deny growing rumours that the two had become romantically linked.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    Ben Thatcher doesn't do press-ups. He just pushes down the earth.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,272
    Having been beaten to the role of James Bond by Daniel Craig last year, Ben Thatcher will instead take over from David Tennant as the new Doctor Who at the end of the next series.
  • Salad
    Salad Posts: 10,189
    Ben Thatcher reported an error on page two of transmission.
  • Salad
    Salad Posts: 10,189
    Ben Thatcher likes a good film so long as it has action, fun, romance... and most of all... pirates!
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,833
    Ben Thatcher's season ticket arrived in the post last week
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    Ben Thatcher plays the part of Lauren Cooper's Boyfriend in the Catherine Tate Show....Alright (And is she bovvered)
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,833
    Ben Thatcher's grandfather was killed at a German concentration camp during WWII. Apparently he fell out of a machine gun tower.