The bar lady enigma

KBslittlesis

Don’t be fooled.
She’s already planning how to kill you with the willy shaped cocktail stick left over from a hen night.

JohnBoyUK

RedArmySE7 said:

Shall I buy a hat?

Hello @Dave2l do you need a wedding photographer?

Dave2l

I've learned I more so like pubs when there's only about 4 people within.

I fear having to get an Uber even though I live roughly 12 metres away 

Covered End

Dave2l said:

I've learned I more so like pubs when there's only about 4 people within.

I fear having to get an Uber even though I live roughly 12 metres away 

I always get an Uber if I need to travel more than 10 metres.

iainment

Never think a cross bar conversation means anything.

Dave2l

MrOneLung said:

Dave2l said:

MrOneLung said:

@Dave2l - how old are you / her ? 

I'm 92 and she's 17

Love doesn't have an age on it 

Was just trying to gauge the age as to how you approach it. 

I'm in my early 30s and she's mid 20s

golfaddick

How do you know that "she" is a lady. In this day & age you should never assume anyone's gender. 

Is this persons name Bert  ?

Baldybonce

Covered End said:

Yes, ask her questions about herself.

Hollywood or Brazilian?

AFKABartram

iainment said:

Never think a cross bar conversation means anything.

However, a crossbow conversion could be significant

blackpool72

I wanna hear  Dave  Mehmets ideas on this 

iaitch

Leroy Ambrose said:

Just whack your cock out on the bar. If she's interested, that'll do it. 

And she says 'oooh it's like a willy only smaller'.

ROTW

Remember a mate of mine in Spooks on night.
Whipped his chap out and plonked it in a birds hand.
The bird didn’t even flinch.

AddicksAddict

You say "Tickle your arse with a feather".

When she says "What did you say?" you reply "Isn't it rotten weather".  She'll know what you really said and hopefully she'll appreciate the humour have a smile on her face.

Whatever you do, don't reply "It's raining cats and dogs".

SuedeAdidas

ROTW said:

Remember a mate of mine in Spooks on night.
Whipped his chap out and plonked it in a birds hand.
The bird didn’t even flinch.

Maybe she didn’t notice?

lolwray

What's your best cocktail? ...its a story not a drink 😊

Gribbo

Just ask "Can I touch you there?".

Worked for Michael Bolton

ForeverAddickted

Walk up to her with confidence, and say: "Do you like trains, because I CHOO CHOO choose you"

eastterrace6168

Let her read through this thread, that should sort it one way or another...
"Those that laugh together, stay together"..

Lincsaddick

just say .. 'you are soooooo beautiful' ... 

https://youtu.be/WvAr9umnZ54

Stig

iainment said:

Never think a cross bar conversation means anything.

Are you suggesting that, 'Why are Charlton fans so shit at the crossbar challenge?' Is a bad opening line?

Stig

ROTW said:

Remember a mate of mine in Spooks on night.
Whipped his chap out and plonked it in a birds hand.
The bird didn’t even flinch.

Jimmy Saville?

Mendonca In Asdas

ForeverAddickted said:

Walk up to her with confidence, and say: "Do you like trains, because I CHOO CHOO choose you"

Yeah trains is a clincher, you’ll soon know if she’s right for you if she doesn’t like trains!

ROTW

SuedeAdidas said:

ROTW said:

Remember a mate of mine in Spooks on night.
Whipped his chap out and plonked it in a birds hand.
The bird didn’t even flinch.

Maybe she didn’t notice?

Ha ha. I doubt that, he was hung like a horse.
And for what it’s worth, she seemed to enjoy the gift.

YTS1978

This thread reminded me of something funny. I used to go in the station hotel at hither green a lot when I lived over there. This was before they did it up. There was a barmaid in there that had a bit of a soft spot for me, or so I thought anyway. Nothing ever came of it though. Anyway, doing the usual chit chat one day and I asked her what she was up to at the weekend. Turns out she was off to the erotica exhibition at excel or somewhere like that...with her mum! She then added that her mum was the same dress size, which was handy as they could share outfits! I feel I missed an opportunity there! 🤣😂

Dave2l

Thankfully it's Everton Vs United this afternoon.

While everyone's watching the entertaining car crash fixture of mutual misery - I can step up to the plate... Get friend zoned, and then enjoy a diet coke.

I will most likely sit down, browse my phone, and then go home.

Who says romance is dead 

Off_it

Dave2l said:

Thankfully it's Everton Vs United this afternoon.

While everyone's watching the entertaining car crash fixture of mutual misery - I can step up to the plate... Get friend zoned, and then enjoy a diet coke.

I will most likely sit down, browse my phone, and then go home.

Who says romance is dead 

Good point.

Ask her if she's on a dating App. If she is you can go and sit in the corner and flirt with her all day without the need to actually speak to her or make any eye contact whatsoever.

It's the future. Apparently.

ROTW

Rohypnol.

PrincessFiona

eastterrace6168 said:

Let her read through this thread, that should sort it one way or another...
"Those that laugh together, stay together"..

Maybe she's on CL and has?

Baldybonce

Off_it said:

Dave2l said:

Thankfully it's Everton Vs United this afternoon.

While everyone's watching the entertaining car crash fixture of mutual misery - I can step up to the plate... Get friend zoned, and then enjoy a diet coke.

I will most likely sit down, browse my phone, and then go home.

Who says romance is dead 

Good point.

Ask her if she's on a dating App. If she is you can go and sit in the corner and flirt with her all day without the need to actually speak to her or make any eye contact whatsoever.

It's the future. Apparently.

and Pornhub.

MuttleyCAFC

My advice would be to get chatting and find out more about her. If she is reluctant to tell you, she may be just friendly as it is part of her job. Pick up lines are more for somebody you see and are unlikely to see again. Look for any signs of flirting which would probably be a good indicator.