...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
“A Mr or Ms Valley of Tears has laid a complaint, could you please identify yourself to the police immediately ”
am sure there will be a least 3 stories to be told.
There’s one involving me, his back garden, a little bum play and loads of vomit.
He can fill in the blanks.
NYE I'd say what 2008?
This leaves more questions than answers I'm sure but the blanks can be filled a bit with the news some weed, brandy and a fish and chip supper were all involved, bum play is true although I'd say medically necessary given the circumstances.
When I have a bit more time and can draw my memory back I'll do a full appraisal of that night bro
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
“A Mr or Ms Valley of Tears has laid a complaint, could you please identify yourself to the police immediately ”
You can tell she's a fake because no way are those boots standard issue. Why they're totally impractical for proper police work.😎
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
“A Mr or Ms Valley of Tears has laid a complaint, could you please identify yourself to the police immediately ”
You can tell she's a fake because no way are those boots standard issue. Why they're totally impractical for proper police work.😎
She works in the pond and disco division. Stiletto waders. Standard issue for that department
am sure there will be a least 3 stories to be told.
There’s one involving me, his back garden, a little bum play and loads of vomit.
He can fill in the blanks.
NYE I'd say what 2008?
This leaves more questions than answers I'm sure but the blanks can be filled a bit with the news some weed, brandy and a fish and chip supper were all involved, bum play is true although I'd say medically necessary given the circumstances.
When I have a bit more time and can draw my memory back I'll do a full appraisal of that night bro
Oddly enough it came up at work a few weeks ago when discussing the most disgusting thing someone has ever done to you.
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
I’d definitely want to know if someone who is supposedly of good standing in the community is in fact a filthy pervert.
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
I’d definitely want to know if someone who is supposedly of good standing in the community is in fact a filthy pervert.
Have to go along with this. I am not a filthy pervert at all either.
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
I’d definitely want to know if someone who is supposedly of good standing in the community is in fact a filthy pervert.
Couldn't happen in our society. Too many safeguards.
So me and @Stu_of_Kunming are good pals, its fair to say I have a lot of fondness for the man as does anyone who has met him, he is prepared to let's say get in the trenches on a night out
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
So me and @Stu_of_Kunming are good pals, its fair to say I have a lot of fondness for the man as does anyone who has met him, he is prepared to let's say get in the trenches on a night out
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
So me and @Stu_of_Kunming are good pals, its fair to say I have a lot of fondness for the man as does anyone who has met him, he is prepared to let's say get in the trenches on a night out
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
I miss those days man
Well, a whole new take on the term "Near The Knuckle"... Can't do too much for a good mate eh..
So me and @Stu_of_Kunming are good pals, its fair to say I have a lot of fondness for the man as does anyone who has met him, he is prepared to let's say get in the trenches on a night out
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
I miss those days man
All I can say is I’ve lead a very sheltered life 🤢
I just opened my front door to feed the dogs outside (they like alfresco dining) and noticed a car parked opposite my house. Not an unremarkable scene, living in the industrial heartland of England's 4th largest City (Leeds say 5th).
However as I lay down the feast of delights for my four legged friends, I noticed that a car was moving. Not in a conventional way of backwards and forwards, more up an down, in a bouncing motion. I couldn't see any people outside or inside as the windows were blacked out, but pondered whether somebody was being throttled and might need assistance, but as the front windows were fully open and no sound was coming out, there didn't seem too much protest. At my insistence, my wife came out to witness the bouncing car. After the strange bouncing stopped a very large bloke stripped to the waist got out of the rear door and got back in the front and drove away.
My query is, what do other Lifers think about such activities taking place on a busy residential street?
Busy residential street for a bunk up makes the participants sound pretty randy/desperate. Lack of noise emanating from open windows doesn't suggest anybody was having a wonderful time. Participants also apparently clueless - any fule no it's best on a reclined front passenger seat - Rita, Sue and Bob knew that.
Way back in my late teens I was parked up in my mini in the car park behind The Plaza Cinema in Catford with a young married lass ….it was a very cold night and the windows were well and truly steamed up. Suddenly there was a loud bang on the window and a torch light was being flashed around. We both froze and then I cleared a window a little to see a copper standing there. Leaning over I rolled down the passenger side window a touch and the conversation went something along these lines. ”No need to ask what you’re up to, I’m going to charge you both with public indecency.” With that the girl burst into tears, petrified of the possible consequences and blurted out that she was married and couldn’t ever live it down. There was a moment’s silence and then I couldn’t believe my ears. “Ok I’ll let you off providing I’m next.” I looked at the girl and we both realised there was nothing else for it. I hurriedly got my trousers and pants back on and stepped out of the car. I was shaking like a leaf. ”Why are you trembling like that.” ”Well……..I’ve never fucked a copper before.”
...someone's sister/daughter/niece/mother!/wife!/friend and it becomes quite serious. Or the bloke is someone in good standing with the community and now is a filthy pervert. I do hope they are punished with the full force of the law.
“A Mr or Ms Valley of Tears has laid a complaint, could you please identify yourself to the police immediately ”
So me and @Stu_of_Kunming are good pals, its fair to say I have a lot of fondness for the man as does anyone who has met him, he is prepared to let's say get in the trenches on a night out
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
I miss those days man
My first thought is you can’t have been eating much fibre then
Comments
Only done it twice, in secluded spots in Hampshire so no chance of being overlooked and outraging Valley of Tears.
This leaves more questions than answers I'm sure but the blanks can be filled a bit with the news some weed, brandy and a fish and chip supper were all involved, bum play is true although I'd say medically necessary given the circumstances.
When I have a bit more time and can draw my memory back I'll do a full appraisal of that night bro
Fun times.
Oh hang on...
Anyway he had come to help me DJ one new years eve, beer was drunk I think there was even a bit of a skirmish at one point with some locals, we went back to my bachelor pad and wound the night down as young men do, with weed and booze. Booze being Sainsbury own brand brandy. Fast forward not that long and my man is suffering, he is out in the garden bent double dry heaving having mixed some particularly potent green plant with a lot of booze so I did what I knew needed to be done. He had to rid his body of this demon, this poison.
So one of my fingers went up my arse to about the first knuckle then under Stueys nose. Hey presto, he was rid of the demon and we stood over its body disguised as am alarming amount of vomit and smight its ruin
The next day there were 3 cats feasting on the fetid pat which is something I'd never seen before, turns out it was because of the cod and chips he has lined his tummy with earlier on before coming out
I miss those days man
Well, a whole new take on the term "Near The Knuckle"... Can't do too much for a good mate eh..
Did you recognie the bloke?
Lack of noise emanating from open windows doesn't suggest anybody was having a wonderful time.
Participants also apparently clueless - any fule no it's best on a reclined front passenger seat - Rita, Sue and Bob knew that.
Suddenly there was a loud bang on the window and a torch light was being flashed around.
We both froze and then I cleared a window a little to see a copper standing there.
Leaning over I rolled down the passenger side window a touch and the conversation went something along these lines.
”No need to ask what you’re up to, I’m going to charge you both with public indecency.”
With that the girl burst into tears, petrified of the possible consequences and blurted out that she was married and couldn’t ever live it down. There was a moment’s silence and then I couldn’t believe my ears.
“Ok I’ll let you off providing I’m next.”
I looked at the girl and we both realised there was nothing else for it.
I hurriedly got my trousers and pants back on and stepped out of the car. I was shaking like a leaf.
”Why are you trembling like that.”
”Well……..I’ve never fucked a copper before.”
Only asking so I can picture the scene more clearly.
Should be much more of it.