Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Chat up lines

124

Comments

  • Rizzo
    Rizzo Posts: 6,430
    On a serious note, a good bit of palm reading was always a winner. Just adapt what you say to what you think she wants to hear. Just make them laugh and don't treat the chat up stage as anything other than a bit of fun.
    Brings back memories : - )

    Was AFKA reading your palm?
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Would you like to spend the weekend on my boat?
  • Pelham123
    Pelham123 Posts: 379
    edited March 2012
    Had a dream about you last night
    Did you? No you woudnt let me
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    *wipes face*

    I'm just clearing a place for you to sit.
  • JT
    JT Posts: 12,348
    Mines massive and it ain't made of plastic.
  • Addickted4life
    Addickted4life Posts: 7,467
    Some cheesy ones:

    Is your name Loreal?
    Cos your worth it.

    If you was a bogey, I'd pick you.
  • CH4RLTON
    CH4RLTON Posts: 2,618
    I prefer the Kevin Bloody wilson aproach
  • Bubble
    Bubble Posts: 1,541
    Would you like to spend the weekend on my boat?
    Milletts make boats? ......... That sure is a jump from Tents
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    I prefer the Kevin Bloody wilson aproach
    do you f**k on 1st dates or does your dad own a brewery can i feel your tits or will you show them to me


    it works used it a few times
  • Toogood
    Toogood Posts: 73
    Fancy going halves on as barstard ?

    Or

    Just walk up and say "you'll do"
  • Sponsored links:



  • UrbanChupacabra
    UrbanChupacabra Posts: 541
    Is your name daisy? I've got the urge to plant u right here
  • Rob
    Rob Posts: 11,776
    'ello luv. Show us yer beef curtains.

    Works every time
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    My favourite is a certain lifer walking up to a random bird in a club and kissing her on the cheek. Her face was priceless.

    Proper sexpest.
  • cafcsinger
    cafcsinger Posts: 5,548
    Do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    I really hope that most of these are never used in public!! How some of you managed not only to get a girlfriend but get married I don't know :-)
  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,345
    I really hope that most of these are never used in public!! How some of you managed not only to get a girlfriend but get married I don't know :-)
    oi Wilma .. if you're a Flintstone I bet you make the bedrock
  • Bryan_Kynsie
    Bryan_Kynsie Posts: 2,179
    Do you support the Palace?
    No? You'll do
    Yes? F##k off! I do have standards you know!
  • davy
    davy Posts: 420
    Do you work on a farm?

    No, why?

    Because you sure know how to raise cocks.

    The funny thing is that Ive got a date with a farmer bird tomorrow so that chat up line wouldn't work on her haha
  • Athletico Charlton
    Athletico Charlton Posts: 14,273
    Buy me a drink and I will let you snog me used to work when I was a student amazingly.

    Bloke: I bet you a pound I can make your boobs jiggle without touching them.
    Lass: ok then
    Bloke: then motorboats
    Lass: you said 'without' touching them
    Bloke: you win, here's a pound.
  • Karim_myBagheri
    Karim_myBagheri Posts: 12,692
    Do you work on a farm?

    No, why?

    Because you sure know how to raise cocks.

    The funny thing is that Ive got a date with a farmer bird tomorrow so that chat up line wouldn't work on her haha
    love the taste of farmers wife's crumpets...

    image
  • Sponsored links:



  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,344
    Buy me a drink and I will let you snog me used to work when I was a student amazingly.

    Bloke: I bet you a pound I can make your boobs jiggle without touching them.
    Lass: ok then
    Bloke: then motorboats
    Lass: you said 'without' touching them
    Bloke: you win, here's a pound.
    Love that! Maybe the offer of a drink would be better?
  • RedArmySE7
    RedArmySE7 Posts: 5,407
    My favourite is a certain lifer walking up to a random bird in a club and kissing her on the cheek. Her face was priceless.

    Proper sexpest.
    A much respected lifer at that.
  • Shag
    Shag Posts: 4,555
    The proper sexpest bit I was going to say Dave Mehmet but the much respected bit has put me off
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Think coudrouy jacket and sun visor.
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,782
    Him:"Do you wanna come home with the big bad wolf?"
    Her: "No"
    Him: "oh well, not to worry, the other two pigs also turned me down".
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,782
    Her: "I have a boyfriend".
    Him: "I have a goldfish".
    Her; "What??"
    Him: "I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter"
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    I really hope that most of these are never used in public!! How some of you managed not only to get a girlfriend but get married I don't know :-)
    oi Wilma .. if you're a Flintstone I bet you make the bedrock
    Very good :-)

  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,823
    Hey Wilma,

    How youuu doing ?

    :-)
  • Shag
    Shag Posts: 4,555
    Alright Wilma , how do you make my knob 10 inches ?
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    Leave it out you two!

Categories

“Marketplace”