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Sick day excuses

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  • The long term unemployed are masters at coming up with excuses to get out of training courses. I had a forty-something blokes mother ring me saying he wouldn't be in because 'he's picked up that Down Syndrome'. She went on to tell me 'he's had it before, he's a martyr to it, but he'll have shaken it off by next week.'

    Funny, but at the same time, extremely disturbing & worrying.

  • DA9 said:

    The long term unemployed are masters at coming up with excuses to get out of training courses. I had a forty-something blokes mother ring me saying he wouldn't be in because 'he's picked up that Down Syndrome'. She went on to tell me 'he's had it before, he's a martyr to it, but he'll have shaken it off by next week.'

    Funny, but at the same time, extremely disturbing & worrying.

    Indeed, even worse was the young lad who pretended - with very convincing tears - that his brother had died in a car crash just to get a bit of time off from jobsearch support. TBH working with these people, despite at times being really rewarding has also pretty much destroyed my trust in anything people tell me.
  • Had someone I worked with years ago who went through 6 or 7 grandparents dying.
  • DA9 said:

    Had someone I worked with years ago who went through 6 or 7 grandparents dying.

    Ive got 7...
  • DA9DA9
    edited August 2012
    Addicted said:

    DA9 said:

    Had someone I worked with years ago who went through 6 or 7 grandparents dying.

    Ive got 7...
    did your mum or dad like wedding cake?

  • The same person was responsible for the three best two sick day excuses I ever heard. The first was that she put her back out getting a joint of pork out of the oven, the second that she swallowed a bluebottle and the third (and best) was that she sprained her ankle slipping on a sausage in Ongar High Street. The latter led to many jokes riffing on the song 'Don't Look Back in Anger' ie 'don't look down in Ongar' etc etc.
    The excuse about putting her back out was undermined when she was spotted playing volleyball in her local sports centre, leaping up like a salmon to perform a textbook smash/spike when she sould have been resting her back.
  • edited August 2012


    JiMMy 85 said:

    I'd long saved up the - I witnessed a cyclist getting knocked over on way to station -Maybe for 3 or 4 years. Finally used it, worked pretty well.

    I honestly think, if you work for a big company, you're a fool for not taking sick days.

    I know a few people that thought like that. Imagine their surprise when they were invited to resign due to their poor sickness record. Even big companies expect their staff to actually earn the money they are paid.
    Agree. The sickies never get on. They think their clever, but everyone knows. Darren Anderton being the exception.
    So you get the balance right but not doing it too often. It's not too complicated.

    Have you two tried "I can't get into the car today, I appear to have a stick up my ass"? - could be pretty convincing!
  • DA9 said:

    Addicted said:

    DA9 said:

    Had someone I worked with years ago who went through 6 or 7 grandparents dying.

    Ive got 7...
    did your mum or dad like wedding cake?

    Both their parents divorced, 3 re-married... presents from all sides as a kid
  • edited August 2012
    I'm lucky that my desk at work dont really do sick days, ive had about 4/5 in the last six years.

    There is a girl that works for my firm that has 4/5 a month with everything from migrains to the shits all the way to washing machine broke and leaked evrywhere to I found and old man on the floor who had slipped on the ice and had pissed himself so had to get him an ambulance
  • never had a sick day in 20 years of work, only time I was signed off was for a hernia op and then came back early.

    consequently my tollerance levels for people who work for me who phone in sick are thin!

    guess that's the 'small company' syndrome of 'I'll only have to do it when I do go back'
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  • The same person was responsible for the three best two sick day excuses I ever heard. The first was that she put her back out getting a joint of pork out of the oven, the second that she swallowed a bluebottle and the third (and best) was that she sprained her ankle slipping on a sausage in Ongar High Street. The latter led to many jokes riffing on the song 'Don't Look Back in Anger' ie 'don't look down in Ongar' etc etc.
    The excuse about putting her back out was undermined when she was spotted playing volleyball in her local sports centre, leaping up like a salmon to perform a textbook smash/spike when she sould have been resting her back.

    That first one had me howling in laughter!
  • edited August 2012
    The culture of "I'm too conscientious to take time off sick" works very well for those who love their work, who get all their self-affirmation from it. For everybody else it just leads to a failure to actually prioritise their wellbeing over some dumb attitude of toughness. Why do you think so many people in this country take time off with stress, are dosed up with tranquilizers etc? People lie to bosses who don't respect their employees. As for people on benefits trying to get out of "training" courses; the way some of my clients are spoken to by SOME benefits workers I fully understand why they lie. And if I worked in the benefits system I'd probably talk to them like that too. Overworked, stressed and target-driven employees confronted with one after another apparently feckless "clients" - I wonder what the sickie rate is like for benefits workers?
  • I wonder what the sickie rate is like for benefits workers?

    I read or heard somewhere it is above the national average

  • People lie to bosses who don't respect their employees.

    Why do the bosses not respect their employees do you think?

    In my experience the managers have always respected the employees that have worked hard and showed respect to the organisation that pays their living. Those employees have always got on ok with their managers.

    It tends to be those that drift through life thinking that they are owed something, or that expect their peers to work harder to cover their lack of commitment, that fail to earn the respect of their managers. These are the employees that don't like their bosses, because they always tend to believe that they are treated unfairly while not recognising that they are, in many instances, a liability. They are the ones that the company would prefer to lose, and the more uncooperative the employee becomes the more the management want them to leave, and the less well they are treated.

    I've had a staggering amount of time off sick over the years, and I've always found my employers to be both helpful and generous when it comes to sick pay. The reason for this is that I do work hard and I always look out for my colleagues and ensure that I don't take advantage of someone else's commitment. Even when I've had jobs that I've not wanted I have always gone into work when ever I was physically able to do so, including getting into the office when we had snow and others that lived much closer than I did 'excused' themselves.

    I do agree that if you like your job you are more inclined to want to go in every day, but it doesn't make it right for someone to take extra days off just because they don't like what they do.
  • DA9DA9
    edited August 2012
    DA9 said:

    I wonder what the sickie rate is like for benefits workers?

    I read or heard somewhere it is above the national average

    From Daily Mail Website


    All workers sometimes fall victim to the odd bout of Monday morning blues - but it seems JobCentre staff are more prone than most.
    A third of all sick leave taken by JobCentre and benefits agencies staff conveniently begins on a Monday, figures reveal.
    Not surprisingly, officials say this is "likely to reflect some behavioural element" as there is no medical link between Mondays and widespread outbreaks of flu.
    Now, ministers have vowed to stamp out the sicknote culture - which staff blame on the stress of their jobs - by classifying working at a JobCentre as a "high-risk occupation".
    Minister for Work Nick Brown yesterday said he was "very close" to ordering the Health and Safety Executive to add the staff to its list of high-risk workers.
    If that happened, they would rank alongside Britain's most dangerous industry - construction, which suffers 5,000 major accidents every year, many of them fatal.
    The HSE would then finance an investigation into the sickie phenomenon at JobCentres and benefits agencies.
    "We clearly have a problem," Mr Brown said yesterday. "We need to understand why and take remedial action. I'm coming down very heavily on this."
    JobCentre and benefits staff have almost twice as many sick days as those in the private sector.
    Every year, the Department of Work and Pensions' 120,000 employees take an average 12.9 days off, compared to just 6.7 days in private industries.
    Women - particularly those with lower-placed jobs - are more likely than men to take a sickie.
    Whitehall as a whole has an extremely high rate of absenteeism, with 4.2million days lost to sick leave ever year.


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-164447/Monday-means-sickie-day-JobCentre-staff.html#ixzz22xVQ7aKf

  • never had a sick day in 20 years of work, only time I was signed off was for a hernia op and then came back early.consequently my tollerance levels for people who work for me who phone in sick are thin!

    guess that's the 'small company' syndrome of 'I'll only have to do it when I do go back'

    Nothing like invalidating the companies insurance policy by working when officially signed off !!!!
  • I work in insurance
  • edited August 2012

    People lie to bosses who don't respect their employees.

    Why do the bosses not respect their employees do you think?

    In my experience the managers have always respected the employees that have worked hard and showed respect to the organisation that pays their living. Those employees have always got on ok with their managers.

    It tends to be those that drift through life thinking that they are owed something, or that expect their peers to work harder to cover their lack of commitment, that fail to earn the respect of their managers. These are the employees that don't like their bosses, because they always tend to believe that they are treated unfairly while not recognising that they are, in many instances, a liability. They are the ones that the company would prefer to lose, and the more uncooperative the employee becomes the more the management want them to leave, and the less well they are treated.

    I've had a staggering amount of time off sick over the years, and I've always found my employers to be both helpful and generous when it comes to sick pay. The reason for this is that I do work hard and I always look out for my colleagues and ensure that I don't take advantage of someone else's commitment. Even when I've had jobs that I've not wanted I have always gone into work when ever I was physically able to do so, including getting into the office when we had snow and others that lived much closer than I did 'excused' themselves.

    I do agree that if you like your job you are more inclined to want to go in every day, but it doesn't make it right for someone to take extra days off just because they don't like what they do.
    Ah no, I think you misunderstand me. I meant that those employers who do not treat their employees with consideration are going to be lied to, not "all employers do not repect their employees".
  • I work in insurance

    Wasnt it you that sold me that PPI that I keep getting phone calls about?



    ;0)
  • It's 0530 and I've got work. The joys.
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  • When I was on the tools the gangs all agreed that if one of the blokes had the shits or something contagious we would happily cover them. Some of the excuses I get to hear about now are classic but at the end of the day if someone is ill they are ill.

    Anyone who has never taken sick leave is very immune to stuff and lucky, in fear of their job (rightly or wrongly) I think with a lot of desk jobs where remote working is an option you can still do a job with a cold or the flu maybe less efficiently but if you do a physical job it aint an option.

    However my favourite which is now notorious is a bloke who called in sick and phoned KissFM up to enter a competition then gobbed off on air what their name was and the fact that they were on a skive from work!

    Another bloke just buggered off on holiday for two weeks sent a postcard and everything after calling in sick. Proper rebel withhout a cause though that one
  • It's 0530 and I've got work. The joys.

    Better to be up at 5.30 and have a job than to lay in bed 'til 12 and not have one.
  • The long term unemployed are masters at coming up with excuses to get out of training courses. I had a forty-something blokes mother ring me saying he wouldn't be in because 'he's picked up that Down Syndrome'. She went on to tell me 'he's had it before, he's a martyr to it, but he'll have shaken it off by next week.'

    Thanks for the best laugh I will have this week.

  • 'My Friend' has worked for several company's, the ones he felt valued in, and was looked after as agreed, he did not take the p!ss, and had hardly any sick, the one he works at now have cut back to such an extent that he does 3 peoples jobs is on less pay than 2 years ago (agreed bonus stopped), oh and his bosses still get the new cars and bonuses, suffice to say he has a lot more sick!
    Strange!
  • I'm with Eltham on the small company thing.

    Nobody else is going to do the work for you so by being sick you cause yourself more stress.
  • I hate the work/routine thing sometimes :(
  • edited August 2012
    Sometimes I want to call home sick to say I can't come back from work.
  • My team lost yesterday... I'm not coming back in until we win!!!
  • I'm looking to update my excuses book. Any suggestions please post below...
  • I won't be in today I've got a prolapsed deuteronomy.
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