Lord Snooty had a butler called wobble who was always at his masters beck and call. In the bath one day and Snooty shouted out his orders- "Wobble get me some soap" and Wobble ran upstairs with the soap. A few minutes later "Wobble get me a sponge" and Wobble ran upstairs with a sponge. Snooty then let go a huge subterranean fart. Wobble came running upstairs and burst into the bathroom with a hot water bottle. 'Whats that for asked Snooty" I heard you call out sir - "whataboutawaterbottlewobble"
Lord Snooty had a butler called wobble who was always at his masters beck and call. In the bath one day and Snooty shouted out his orders- "Wobble get me some soap" and Wobble ran upstairs with the soap. A few minutes later "Wobble get me a sponge" and Wobble ran upstairs with a sponge. Snooty then let go a huge subterranean fart. Wobble came running upstairs and burst into the bathroom with a hot water bottle. 'Whats that for asked Snooty" I heard you call out sir - "whataboutawaterbottlewobble"
Not heard it for almost 20 years but still an old favourite
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset.. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments..
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she
was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they not the "in" name this year.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Can I have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
Lord Snooty had a butler called wobble who was always at his masters beck and call. In the bath one day and Snooty shouted out his orders- "Wobble get me some soap" and Wobble ran upstairs with the soap. A few minutes later "Wobble get me a sponge" and Wobble ran upstairs with a sponge. Snooty then let go a huge subterranean fart. Wobble came running upstairs and burst into the bathroom with a hot water bottle. 'Whats that for asked Snooty" I heard you call out sir - "whataboutawaterbottlewobble"
I know jokes are rarely funny when they are explained, but. ......
Lord Snooty had a butler called wobble who was always at his masters beck and call. In the bath one day and Snooty shouted out his orders- "Wobble get me some soap" and Wobble ran upstairs with the soap. A few minutes later "Wobble get me a sponge" and Wobble ran upstairs with a sponge. Snooty then let go a huge subterranean fart. Wobble came running upstairs and burst into the bathroom with a hot water bottle. 'Whats that for asked Snooty" I heard you call out sir - "whataboutawaterbottlewobble"
I know jokes are rarely funny when they are explained, but. ......
I just received a text which says Kevin of Autoglass has managed to fill my wife's crack with his special resin. Funny thing is, I've got the car. Hmmmm!
I went to a disco last night, they played the Jump, I did the Jump. They played the Twist, I did the Twist. If was half way through Come on Eileen that I got thrown out.
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Lord Snooty had a butler called wobble who was always at his masters beck and call.
In the bath one day and Snooty shouted out his orders-
"Wobble get me some soap" and Wobble ran upstairs with the soap.
A few minutes later "Wobble get me a sponge" and Wobble ran upstairs with a sponge.
Snooty then let go a huge subterranean fart.
Wobble came running upstairs and burst into the bathroom with a hot water bottle.
'Whats that for asked Snooty"
I heard you call out sir - "whataboutawaterbottlewobble"
Just to let you know, I had the Russian Covid19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you it’s fine.
Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him!
It was a Lamb Bikini.
I last saw him having a 3 course meal in a french restaurant......
it started with a quiche
Because it didn't habanero