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The bar lady enigma

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Comments

  • KiwiValley
    KiwiValley Posts: 3,379
    Lady Enigma is lovely, but If you were able to cosy up to Lady Enema you'd be sitting pretty
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,850
    Look Dave, do it or don’t but don’t keep banging on about it if you don’t 

    if you do do it, let us know how it goes, if you don’t do it then Ask mods to close the thread

    sorry to be harsh but I like to live my life vicariously on this site through stories of sexual shenanigans by Carter, Leroy and even MrLargo so get on with it mate 
  • Stu_of_Kunming
    Stu_of_Kunming Posts: 17,117
    I knew I had to open this thread when I saw Carter had posted.
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,023
    cafcledbury said:
    Stig said:
    ROTW said:
    Remember a mate of mine in Spooks on night.
    Whipped his chap out and plonked it in a birds hand.
    The bird didn’t even flinch.
    Jimmy Saville?
    Jimmy Saville once got me to milk a cow blindfolded 
    That's what he told you, anyway ;)
  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    I've got some sort of good news 😁

    (That mild bit of info requires an individual to provide me with a 2011 Facebook "I'll inbox u hun XXX" quotation of random general Charlton life interest in my sex life - Don't let me down)
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,979
    Share it hun x
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    edited April 2022
    Nothing has had this potential since the "advice needed, can't ask my wife" thread with the hairdresser from Lytham St Annes.
  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    ValleyGary said:
    Share it hun x

    Thnx Hun x


    (Assuming she's not a friend or close relative of an ex Charlton european CB we had)

    I can't mention her heritage based on the risk.

    I had a pleasant pub meeting with a friend of mine. The good news is, she's hot and she's a milf (even though she doesn't actually have kids but you get the picture)

    The blonde enigma originator poured us both drinks...and she had a very slight glimps of mild "oh shit Dave's with someone" about it.

    When she said my pint of peroni will be £4.65, she didn't appear to very enthusiastic about informing me of it.

    I believe she may now be fishing for some Dave.

    She wants her blonde rival out of the equation.
    I have provided some long term chess based tactical genius to the original sexy enigma.

    I've gone 4-2-3-1


  • EugenesAxe
    EugenesAxe Posts: 3,286

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  • bolloxbolder
    bolloxbolder Posts: 7,960
    Delusional
  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    bolloxbolder said:
    Delusional

    I'm rather aware of the delusion but none of this carries a serious nature to it in any way at all.

    Just to reiterate, I don't actually believe this has anything serious about it and it is pretty much just a moderate friendly waste of time to even read about.

    I will more so chat her up in a nice long term polite friendly gentlemanly understanding way - along with the required patience.






  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,979
    Play it cool Trig….
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,655
    Dave2l said:
    ValleyGary said:
    Share it hun x

    Thnx Hun x


    (Assuming she's not a friend or close relative of an ex Charlton european CB we had)

    I can't mention her heritage based on the risk.

    I had a pleasant pub meeting with a friend of mine. The good news is, she's hot and she's a milf (even though she doesn't actually have kids but you get the picture)

    The blonde enigma originator poured us both drinks...and she had a very slight glimps of mild "oh shit Dave's with someone" about it.

    When she said my pint of peroni will be £4.65, she didn't appear to very enthusiastic about informing me of it.

    I believe she may now be fishing for some Dave.

    She wants her blonde rival out of the equation.
    I have provided some long term chess based tactical genius to the original sexy enigma.

    I've gone 4-2-3-1


    You need more than 1 up front
  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    Blackheathen said:
    Dave2l said:
    ValleyGary said:
    Share it hun x

    Thnx Hun x


    (Assuming she's not a friend or close relative of an ex Charlton european CB we had)

    I can't mention her heritage based on the risk.

    I had a pleasant pub meeting with a friend of mine. The good news is, she's hot and she's a milf (even though she doesn't actually have kids but you get the picture)

    The blonde enigma originator poured us both drinks...and she had a very slight glimps of mild "oh shit Dave's with someone" about it.

    When she said my pint of peroni will be £4.65, she didn't appear to very enthusiastic about informing me of it.

    I believe she may now be fishing for some Dave.

    She wants her blonde rival out of the equation.
    I have provided some long term chess based tactical genius to the original sexy enigma.

    I've gone 4-2-3-1


    You need more than 1 up front

    Jackson's 3-5-2 sometimes gets the shag.

    According to no one 
  • Chris_from_Sidcup
    Chris_from_Sidcup Posts: 36,012
    Dave2l said:
    ValleyGary said:
    Share it hun x

    Thnx Hun x


    (Assuming she's not a friend or close relative of an ex Charlton european CB we had)

    I can't mention her heritage based on the risk.

    I had a pleasant pub meeting with a friend of mine. The good news is, she's hot and she's a milf (even though she doesn't actually have kids but you get the picture)

    The blonde enigma originator poured us both drinks...and she had a very slight glimps of mild "oh shit Dave's with someone" about it.

    When she said my pint of peroni will be £4.65, she didn't appear to very enthusiastic about informing me of it.

    I believe she may now be fishing for some Dave.

    She wants her blonde rival out of the equation.
    I have provided some long term chess based tactical genius to the original sexy enigma.

    I've gone 4-2-3-1


    You're definitely playing the long game here
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    this is better than Netflix 
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,892

  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,655
    Sorry to bump this thread but we’re now on page two without an update.

    Have you given up the chase Dave?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    ForeverAddickted said:
    Walk up to her with confidence, and say: "Do you like trains, because I CHOO CHOO choose you"
    I don't think she's Lisa Simpson.
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  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    YTS1978 said:
    This thread reminded me of something funny. I used to go in the station hotel at hither green a lot when I lived over there. This was before they did it up. There was a barmaid in there that had a bit of a soft spot for me, or so I thought anyway. Nothing ever came of it though. Anyway, doing the usual chit chat one day and I asked her what she was up to at the weekend. Turns out she was off to the erotica exhibition at excel or somewhere like that...with her mum! She then added that her mum was the same dress size, which was handy as they could share outfits! I feel I missed an opportunity there! 🤣😂
    Why do you think that, are you the same dress size too?
  • YTS1978
    YTS1978 Posts: 1,701
    AddicksAddict said:
    YTS1978 said:
    This thread reminded me of something funny. I used to go in the station hotel at hither green a lot when I lived over there. This was before they did it up. There was a barmaid in there that had a bit of a soft spot for me, or so I thought anyway. Nothing ever came of it though. Anyway, doing the usual chit chat one day and I asked her what she was up to at the weekend. Turns out she was off to the erotica exhibition at excel or somewhere like that...with her mum! She then added that her mum was the same dress size, which was handy as they could share outfits! I feel I missed an opportunity there! 🤣😂
    Why do you think that, are you the same dress size too?
    Hahaha....that wasn't what I was hinting. I'm a much larger dress size now either way 🤣😂
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    I'm hoping @Dave2l has triumphed and is too occupied to come on here and provide an update.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,034
    cafcfan said:
    I'm hoping @Dave2l has triumphed and is too occupied to come on here and provide an update.
    Photos are required.
  • RaplhMilne
    RaplhMilne Posts: 4,601
    OMG…. He has her locked up somewhere…. An the old bill are looking for the two of them…..


  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    Unfortunately, for myself, the holidays are over and I've ran out of annual leave.

    I'm going to be busy 6 days a week again, and it's gana be too much - right up until mid June. I can already feel the force of hamster hibernation. It's gana be shit.

    The baton may need to temporarily be passed over. 

    The rules are....there are no rules, apart from the fact that it does have to be in a pub (but not my pub)





  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,866
    Ok, I'm fed up.

    The romantic novel that went on in my mind hasn't met up with real life - in it's present state.

    I'm in the pub and I'm a tad worried. A new lady is wearing a black training t-shirt. I fear my old expert draft beer pourer has already perhaps got a better job somewhere else and she's already been replaced.

    It's anyones guess

    She's now got a secret sexy cool job working for the MI6? or, she ditched the pub to instead work for WH f*cking smiths....or, she still works here but it's her day off.
    Or she's now maybe a hairdresser.
    Or, her passion in life is to work for Uber eats.

    The other slightly annoying thing is there are a group of absolute bellends sitting near me while watching the Chelsea arsenal game.

    When Arsenal scored, they behaved in a beyond cringey moronic way of celebrations. It was painful.

    I've decided I will most likely have the required energy to return to the pub again in the near future. Most likely to be tomorrow.

    I've returned to the real world and emotional energy has been thankfully returned to the Dave. 

    The lesbian 4some, plus myself entering, when they start getting tired is possible, but I don't think it is a very realistic possibility.


  • Lordflashheart
    Lordflashheart Posts: 5,622
    Dave2l said:
    Ok, I'm fed up.

    The romantic novel that went on in my mind hasn't met up with real life - in it's present state.

    I'm in the pub and I'm a tad worried. A new lady is wearing a black training t-shirt. I fear my old expert draft beer pourer has already perhaps got a better job somewhere else and she's already been replaced.

    It's anyones guess

    She's now got a secret sexy cool job working for the MI6? or, she ditched the pub to instead work for WH f*cking smiths....or, she still works here but it's her day off.
    Or she's now maybe a hairdresser.
    Or, her passion in life is to work for Uber eats.

    The other slightly annoying thing is there are a group of absolute bellends sitting near me while watching the Chelsea arsenal game.

    When Arsenal scored, they behaved in a beyond cringey moronic way of celebrations. It was painful.

    I've decided I will most likely have the required energy to return to the pub again in the near future. Most likely to be tomorrow.

    I've returned to the real world and emotional energy has been thankfully returned to the Dave. 

    The lesbian 4some, plus myself entering, when they start getting tired is possible, but I don't think it is a very realistic possibility.


    I salute you - a thread that went straight into the top 10 CL threads of all time - an enjoyable read
  • SheffieldRed
    SheffieldRed Posts: 3,772

    Keep your chin up Dave, go down tonight and with a bit of luck…..


    you’ll be watching Burnley v Southampton 

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