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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

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  • Danepak
    Danepak Posts: 1,628

    Three golf clubs walk into a bar.

    The putter ordered a beer, the pitching wedge ordered a gin & tonic.

    The barman asked the third one if he wanted anything,

    He replied “No thanks, I’m the driver”.


  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    If you can’t or don’t want to access Facebook, just search for Elon Musk bellend. 

  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,318
    Went to a gender reveal party recently... Everyone else was dressed 
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • Gisappointed
    Gisappointed Posts: 990
    I'm looking at pics of Charli XCX. I think I want to tune my radio in.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,104
    I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
    She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    I asked someone how deep the ford was, he said about an inch, so I drove in and flooded the engine. I was fuming. "How can you say it's only an inch?". "Well, it only comes up that far on the ducks!".
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    When is a door not a door?

    When it's a ajar.
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,849
    edited March 11
    AddicksAddict said:
    When is a door not a door?

    When it's a ajar.
    and there it is folks, the winner of the oldest joke on this (and the original) thread.
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,849
    What is the most popular board game in Greece ?


    Monopolopolopoly 
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  • Hal1x
    Hal1x Posts: 4,265
    edited March 11
    MrOneLung said:
    AddicksAddict said:
    When is a door not a door?

    When it's a ajar.
    and there it is folks, the winner of the older joke on this (and the original) thread.
    what island was the person who lolled it living on for 170 plus years. Either that or they are eight.
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,022
    MrOneLung said:
    AddicksAddict said:
    When is a door not a door?

    When it's a ajar.
    and there it is folks, the winner of the older joke on this (and the original) thread.
    I believe this is probably the first joke that I ever had to have explained to me. It was no laughing matter back then either.
  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,560
    I explained to my doctor that I kept thinking I was a piece of luggage. He said he’d never heard of a case like it.
  • Ashers
    Ashers Posts: 418
    We must have the same doctor. I explained that I kept thinking I was a pair of curtains. He said that I should pull myself together.
  • Hal1x
    Hal1x Posts: 4,265
    edited March 11
    I went to my Doc last week and said to him "Doctor I think Im Invisible!", he said that he couldn't see me.
  • better red than dead
    better red than dead Posts: 491
    These jokes are so lame they need a wheelchair.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,318
    My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records - That was until the Librarian told me to take it out 
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,849
    two facts about me

    1 - My dick is the exact length of two pens from William Hill betting shops

    2 - I am banned from all William Hill betting shops
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,318
    At the monastery, one of the monks was in the library sobbing. His brothers rushed in to ask him what was wrong.
    "I was just reviewing the sacred texts," he says. "The word is celebrate. CEL-EB-RATE."
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,104
    My doctor told me something really strange after listening to my chest with his stethoscope. He said what I'd thought was wheezing was actually faint guitar music. An X-ray later showed I had some very small shadows on my lungs.
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  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    Doctor, doctor, I think I’ve caught poetry.

    Don’t worry. I used to have a case of short stories.

    When?

    Oh, once upon a time.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk.

    But I never got the chants. 
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,022
    edited March 17
    ⬆️ Bit weird. Am I being drawn into someone else's conspiracy theory have I just invented one of my own?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 1,636
    My uncle used to say “The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more.”
    Lovely guy. Terrible anaesthetist.

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